Honestly, OP, you don’t look great here. I have both complete hormonal withdrawal (adrenal damage so I’m going through not just menopause, no estrogen, no progesterone, but also lost all the hormones your adrenal glands “tell” your body to make) AND I’ve had viral meningitis about four times (it’s caused by a medication I take). So let me lay it out for you. First, a paragraph you’ll hate, and then one you’ll like.
First of all, you don’t come out covered in glory. You sound a bit self-centered; sorry. But the second someone SAYS, “Me, I like romance,” I think their partner will be set up to fail. Because it should normally be an unnecessary thing to say; EVERYONE likes to be loved and appreciated. People who say that stuff always seem to demand the kind of “gestures” that have fuck all to do with healthy relationships. And I doubt your “hormonal imbalance” or being “fucked up hormonally” has anything to do with this. I’m going through it in my 30s, so no one has any patience with me acting a complete stroppy bitch and then saying, “Oh, it’s just menopause,” even if menopause has a list of symptoms. And people who are still raising young children when menopause hits CAN’T act like that; what are you going to do? Be sullen and quiet with your seven year old? Go off in a strop and leave a six year old alone? And yes, there are actual medical menopause symptoms - brain fog, insomnia, hot flashes - and then there are things we HAVE to control because we’re bloody adults and we control our moods and they don’t control us. Of course it’s difficult, and menopause may make it more difficult, but we don’t have a choice, because we’re adults, and we’re expected to treat others well. Menopause certainly doesn’t give anyone carte blanche to treat others like shite, or to be a bitch, and people won’t put up with it for long. They won’t care that your excuse is “hormones.” They just won’t.
NOW. With all of that said, no, your partner is not still recovering from viral meningitis. It’s not the dangerous type of meningitis. Viral, or aseptic, meningitis can’t kill you at all (it’s the other type, bacterial meningitis, that’s such a worry). “Viral” meningitis just gives you the worst headache you’ve ever had in your entire life, so bad you think it must be a stroke or a brain bleed, and you think it must kill you, and you probably vomit for a while, which hurts even more, and then eventually after a few days, when the inflammation in your meninges goes down, so does the headache. But then you keep having headaches and feel like shite for about another month. Maybe two months, absolutely maximum. And even in those two months, it’s not every day. They’re headaches that come and go. After that… you’re fine. It’s not like chronic fatigue. You don’t feel it for six months. And if you do, then maybe you’ve picked up post-viral chronic fatigue, and should see the neurology consultant again. So if he’s like this after six months… maybe something changed in him, maybe he was always like this and being locked down kept you from seeing it for a while… I don’t know. But it’s not because he has an illness IF it’s only one case of viral meningitis six months ago. And if he’s not complaining of headaches, then this REALLY has nothing to do with the viral meningitis.
Just break up and get it over with. It all sounds toxic; if you assume he intentionally withheld the restaurant closing time from you, and you’re using words like stonewalling, it’s time to fucking end it. Though it sounds like you need to sort some things out (if you really feel you cannot control your emotions, see a counselor) before seeing anyone else.