Husband furious after grocery shopping

[HolyCow83]

DH and myself take in turns to cook evening meal for ourselves, me 4 days a week him 3 days. Im on mat leave right now. We have 2 small kids, I make their food most evenings.
i do grocery shopping online most weeks. DH does not like this as thinks i am controlling and he doesn’t know what to cook if he didn’t do the shop. We have a grocery list and each can write something when we need it.

This week he requested to do the shop (at the actual shop) when we needed it. He agreed to go tonight. I went for a run and he fed the kids, as I do once a week. When I came home he did bath time, put toddler to bed and I put baby to bed. Then he went and did shop, for 2h. At 10pm I’m hungry so make pasta and eat although it’s his turn to cook. 10.30pm he comes home and I help put things away (I’m tired, this is pretty much bedtime). I notice he’s bought reduced fat coconut milk and just ask him not to take offence but that he gets full fat in future as it’s just not as good. He goes crazy yelling waking up the baby, throwing yoghurt on the floor saying I’m controlling and he “can’t stand it anymore”. I do not get it. I didn’t ask him to shop at night time. I usually do kids dinner it’s just tonight he did it. He always gets in such a crazy stress these days. Aibu?

Can me and IH join, although he's a much slower (more careful) shopper than me, so I may not qualify?

And, as a complementary thing, can we have a support group for those whose partners fuck off to Tesco for a hundred and twenty one minutes, so we can plan our future divorced lives and wonder how the other half managed to run up a such a staggering bill in the fifteen minutes that they weren’t getting shagged in the Travelodge across the road?

@WalkingOnTheCracks I'll join!

Was thinking the same. Sounds like you are the one being controlling and your husband is at the end of his tether with it.

I thought you knew the trick is to do a Click & Collect order and sit in the car park for the other 119 minutes?? or nip to the nearest Travelodge for a shag

Maybe something could be touted to supermarkets like supermarket sweep where you only get 29 mins to do the actual shop and if you don't get what you need in that time tough?!

Ooo @Trying20 great minds!

@Trying20 seeing as this post and in particular @mathanxiety has made me realise that my DH has clearly checked and been shagging other women for around 20 years, under the guise of "shopping" it's my turn in the travel lodge!

I just need to find a willing partner, not sure how I'm going to find one, maybe I hang about in the condom aisle?

Lol at you asking me have I actually read anything with a post like yours. Where did you get the OP refuses to buy ingredients for him to cook from when she said the opposite? Where do you get that it takes 2 hours to do a shop from? If he wants to spend 2 hours fannying around the supermarket grand but it doesn't take 2 hours to chuck a week's shopping for 2 adults, a toddler and a breast fed baby in a trolley. Timely manner my arse.

More like 'Supermarket Swing' - meet, swap, shag, shop.

Think you may need to take a translation course as that didn’t compute …

That analogy makes no sense, as that poster said she would have thrown the can too.

So a better analogy would be your dd hearing you say fuck and deciding she would say the same.

Sob sob, my weekly shop takes 2 hours sob sob. I'm having an affair and didn't even know it :(

OK can the clever clogs explain how I do a weekly shop in 30 minutes when the supermarket takes that to long drive to.

😅

But yes please 🙏

No, the analogy works. Saying ‘I’d do that’ acknowledges that they’d react in the same way, it’s not saying it’s the appropriate reaction.

Saying ‘fuck’ when stubbing one’s toe might not be the appropriate reaction in front of one’s 10 year old. It’s possible to acknowledge that while also acknowledging that one might react in that way, in that circumstance.

Much like it’s possible to acknowledge one would react like OP’s husband, while also acknowledging that it isn’t a healthy or appropriate reaction.

Haven't RTFT yet but my immediate impression from your OP was 'He wants to be or is used to being, the controlling one but has found himself an independent woman who won't 'allow' him to walk all over her - even once he's tied her down with kids (Sorry but that's how some men think) and he's reacting to that. LTB

Because DW controls the shopping online, sometimes I find I don’t always have the things I need when its my turn to cook

I don't get this. He's an adult man who knows he is going to have cook meals in the week, so why isn't he giving OP the list of ingredients he needs so she can add it to the online shop? She's probably "controlling" it in the sense that he doesn't even tell her what he needs.

Having a right go

She said one thing, I'd hardly call that having a right go at someone.

Nitpick? OP is a grown woman and is entitled to politely request a different type of product next time! She didn't have a go at him about it. She was very polite in my personal opinion. Very evident of a wife who was conscious of the likelihood of her husband exploding at a simple request!!!!

My DP regularly takes longer than 2 hours to do the food shop. In his defence, he does go to B&Ms as well as Tesco.

If it wasn't for him FaceTiming and texting me the entire time with irritating frequency to discuss the contents of each aisle and what we might need from it, this thread would have me convinced that he's a cheating arsehole. 🤣

How is a polite request to next time but a different version of one product, translated into "picking through his shopping?!?!?" Wow! That's quite the twisting you did there