To judge gender disappointment?

illstayinthepoolanddrown · 2022-08-30T18:02:39+00:00

When that person has a baby gender reveal party? I’ve seen (from both parents) where after the reveal and everyone is cheering they are stood there miserable, or they’ve started crying and even seen some where they walk off. The worst one I’ve just seen was twins and it was blue confetti first and the mum just shrugged and everyone looked awkward, second confetti was pink and she’s screaming and jumping with joy. How horrible for that little boy to maybe one day see that video. I do think gender disappointment is valid and I’m sure most who feel it wish they didn’t. I just don’t get why you’d put yourself in that situation to be the centre of attention when it could turn out pretty bad.

Thesearmsofmine · 30/08/2022 19:04

I think some people don’t realise how they will feel until it happens. I never thought I would cry and be upset when I found out the gender of dc3 but I did.

Sunnyqueen · 30/08/2022 19:05

Yanbu, it's really sad. Tbh can't stand the whole gender reveal vids anyway. Just so cringe.

PonyTime · 30/08/2022 19:06

YABU

Not everyone knows how strongly they feel one way or another until confronted with the truth

Qwertyyui · 30/08/2022 19:08

If you are really bothered by the gender find out alone without a camera. Saying that I really don't see the point of gender reveals. My child is 13 and there was none of that back in my day and I don't feel like I missed out! But then a hen do 14 years ago was a night out. Now its 3 lots of weekends and a week long wedding. I don't get it!

FarmerRefuted · 30/08/2022 19:09

There a million reasons why someone might feel disappointed when they find out the sex of their baby, it doesn't mean they won't ever get over it and it doesn't mean they won't love the baby whe it's born.

JurrasicCazza · 30/08/2022 19:10

Frankly, I just judge people who hold gender reveal parties full stop.

Revolvingwhore · 30/08/2022 19:10

Boys always seem to the victim of it too. Some precious twat who wants to be a minor celebrity and have an Instagram daughter to dress up being unable to hide her disappointment at blue confetti ruining her perfect social media moment. They're absolute fuckwits.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 30/08/2022 19:10

I feel very grateful I didn't have a negative reaction when my predicted ds arrived a dd!! Was a shocker but just that. Shock!!
He was gorgeous!! And I joked he slept through at a few weeks old as compensation for my fright!!
Many years ago I knew a dm who discharged herself and left her dc in the hospital for being the 'wrong' gender..

Ship · 30/08/2022 19:10

I think gender disappointment is not something you can necessarily control. However, I agree op, if you know there’s a high chance you’re going to be upset over the gender then don’t find out in public!

dmask · 30/08/2022 19:13

Personally I find the who thing (including baby showers) tacky, so I would never attend either - then I don’t have to watch it!

lunar1 · 30/08/2022 19:14

I know we shouldn't make sweeping judgments on other people, but my only sympathy regarding gender disappointment is for the 'wrong' children stuck with disappointed parents prior to day 1.

Tsarina01 · 30/08/2022 19:14

YANBU.

I judge too. I don’t think “gender disappointment” is valid at all, in fact I believe that if you choose to become/stay pregnant, you accept that it could either be a girl or a boy. And if you’re disappointed by your child’s sex, then you’re really not mature enough to have children.

crosstalk · 30/08/2022 19:15

OK I'll bite. And be the first one to say it's sex, not gender. Sex is what the baby is born with - even intersex babies with confusing genitalia are identifiable as XX or XY bar the vanishingly small number where it's XXY.

Gender is how social norms (differing from country to country) dictate what males and females should conform to. The usual pink/unicorns/makeup for girls and blue/lions/sport for boys - at least in much of the northern hemisphere.

So I guess (a) it's not called a sex reveal because in the US that's not a polite word and (b) it could be a gender reveal if you intend your child to grow up rigidly sticking to your social norms. Beware a son who doesn't want to play football or a girl who does.

BeanieTeen · 30/08/2022 19:19

YANBU I don’t think. Obviously gender disappointment can’t be helped, and sometimes it can creep up on people unexpectedly. But to stand there and shrug and look visibly miffed in front of a bunch of people you must have had a preferred gender in mind. Silly then to have a gender reveal. I think some people feel bizarrely confident in ‘knowing’ their child’s sex before a scan or ‘reveal’ when of course you can’t really know. I assume in the cases you described they thought they ‘knew’ what would happen, but we’re then proven wrong unfortunately.

BeanieTeen · 30/08/2022 19:23

OK I'll bite. And be the first one to say it's sex, not gender. Sex is what the baby is born with - even intersex babies with confusing genitalia are identifiable as XX or XY bar the vanishingly small number where it's XXY.

No one was fishing… no one gives a shit if you ‘bite’. Its just how normal people in real life talk 🙄

RagingWoke · 30/08/2022 19:25

I judge anyone who has a gender reveal or disappointment. Reveals are awful, tacky, sad pleas for attention.

I strongly feel if anyone has such a desire for a specific sex child they cry, become depressed or whatever when it's 'wrong' then they shouldn't have one.

And I do believe the type of people doing these things mean gender rather than sex because it's generally gendered bs with blue/pink and 'the aesthetic' being the concern.

Original poster

illstayinthepoolanddrown · 30/08/2022 19:25

crosstalk · 30/08/2022 19:15

OK I'll bite. And be the first one to say it's sex, not gender. Sex is what the baby is born with - even intersex babies with confusing genitalia are identifiable as XX or XY bar the vanishingly small number where it's XXY.

Gender is how social norms (differing from country to country) dictate what males and females should conform to. The usual pink/unicorns/makeup for girls and blue/lions/sport for boys - at least in much of the northern hemisphere.

So I guess (a) it's not called a sex reveal because in the US that's not a polite word and (b) it could be a gender reveal if you intend your child to grow up rigidly sticking to your social norms. Beware a son who doesn't want to play football or a girl who does.

Can we just ignore this pedantic irritant. You’re boring at parties (doubt you get invited to any) and you’re boring here.

OP posts:

ButterstheCat · 30/08/2022 19:26

JurrasicCazza · 30/08/2022 19:10

Frankly, I just judge people who hold gender reveal parties full stop.

Same.

timeforfunfunfun · 30/08/2022 19:27

💯 judge them.

absolute morons for having gender reveals in the first place though.

if you choose to have a baby then you know that it’ll either be male or female and you get what you’re given, so to speak.

it’s a cliche but a healthy baby is really all that matters and I wish people would treat the 20 week scan as the anomaly scan and not the one where you find out the sex of the baby.

ps. I am fun at parties, I promise! I just don’t have time for idiots.

Revolvingwhore · 30/08/2022 19:27

crosstalk · 30/08/2022 19:15

OK I'll bite. And be the first one to say it's sex, not gender. Sex is what the baby is born with - even intersex babies with confusing genitalia are identifiable as XX or XY bar the vanishingly small number where it's XXY.

Gender is how social norms (differing from country to country) dictate what males and females should conform to. The usual pink/unicorns/makeup for girls and blue/lions/sport for boys - at least in much of the northern hemisphere.

So I guess (a) it's not called a sex reveal because in the US that's not a polite word and (b) it could be a gender reveal if you intend your child to grow up rigidly sticking to your social norms. Beware a son who doesn't want to play football or a girl who does.

You bite away love - the rest of us are having a normal conversation.

balalake · 30/08/2022 19:28

I also judge those who hold the parties.

Along with baby showers, and before that, flying for a weekend or longer for an expensive hen and/or stag do.

Soubriquet · 30/08/2022 19:28

I was slightly disappointed to find out ds was a boy. But this wasn’t revealed at a party, or in front of others. It was literally me and dh.

When he was born though, I got the strongest bond with him and loved him instantly

Fernando072020 · 30/08/2022 19:29

I agree with you. I'm due February with my second and have been seeing so many posts in the Facebook baby group about "gender disappointment". I scroll past them now as they just make me upset and angry. My first is a boy and I honestly am just happy and grateful to welcome another baby into my family after years of infertility and icsi treatments. This is my baby, and no I don't care if it has a penis or a vagina. But yeah, if you say you have no sympathy for these people who are "disappointed", you're usually chewed out for it and told it's a "real thing".

Sunnyqueen · 30/08/2022 19:30

crosstalk · 30/08/2022 19:15

OK I'll bite. And be the first one to say it's sex, not gender. Sex is what the baby is born with - even intersex babies with confusing genitalia are identifiable as XX or XY bar the vanishingly small number where it's XXY.

Gender is how social norms (differing from country to country) dictate what males and females should conform to. The usual pink/unicorns/makeup for girls and blue/lions/sport for boys - at least in much of the northern hemisphere.

So I guess (a) it's not called a sex reveal because in the US that's not a polite word and (b) it could be a gender reveal if you intend your child to grow up rigidly sticking to your social norms. Beware a son who doesn't want to play football or a girl who does.

Please shut the fuck up 😂😂

Somethingsnappy · 30/08/2022 19:31

BeanieTeen · 30/08/2022 19:23

OK I'll bite. And be the first one to say it's sex, not gender. Sex is what the baby is born with - even intersex babies with confusing genitalia are identifiable as XX or XY bar the vanishingly small number where it's XXY.

No one was fishing… no one gives a shit if you ‘bite’. Its just how normal people in real life talk 🙄

And that told them 😎