To judge gender disappointment?

[illstayinthepoolanddrown]

When that person has a baby gender reveal party?

I’ve seen (from both parents) where after the reveal and everyone is cheering they are stood there miserable, or they’ve started crying and even seen some where they walk off.

The worst one I’ve just seen was twins and it was blue confetti first and the mum just shrugged and everyone looked awkward, second confetti was pink and she’s screaming and jumping with joy. How horrible for that little boy to maybe one day see that video.

I do think gender disappointment is valid and I’m sure most who feel it wish they didn’t. I just don’t get why you’d put yourself in that situation to be the centre of attention when it could turn out pretty bad.

I did see a lovely one on fb the other week after seeing 2 awful ones . The nice one was where the relatives were saying who they were and what they thought the baby would be . So the mums sister was saying ' I'm your auntie and I think you will be a boy' etc thought that made a nice video for the future . And the mum wasn't bothered either way what she had so there was no disappointment.

Nope

Hardly unethical to me or my DH or the thousands of couples who do the same every year

I don’t think gender reveals are tacky and should be done away with? Literally never even said anything close to that.

Would I have one? No. Am I bothered by other people having one? Again no.

MN hate ‘Americanisms’ from prom, to halloween, to baby showers and now gender reveal parties.

Whereas I love different cultures and traditions. I learnt from my Brazilian fronds it’s a tradition in Brazil to cut your birthday cake and give the first slice to the person you love the most. Would I try and incorporate that tradition? No but it’s cool to learn about and embrace.

It wasn’t even relevant to that

Just because thousands do it, doesn’t make it unethical. There’s something very unsacred about sex selection.

YANBU to judge if its a gender reveal. If they're het up enough about their child's genitalia to have a party about it they probably shouldn't be doing it if one outcome will disappoint them.

I mean I would personally get married in Vegas and use the wedding budget to go on the trip it a life time - rather than buy 100+ people dinner. I don’t hate on people that save for years though.

And hen dos, I went on a 3 day one this year. It was fun. Could I have said no? Definitely and there would have been no hard feelings. I just don’t get the issue ..

I don't judge gender disappointment if you want a mix of boy / girl. I don't get it for a first child and I have zero idea why you'd di a gender reveal party with strong preference. But it's a real thing. No one wants to feel like that

@Wouldloveanother

Good thing I put absolutely 0 value in your opinion then isn't it

@FarmerRefuted
There a million reasons why someone might feel disappointed when they find out the sex of their baby

Like what? I can't think of any, let alone a million.

I think it is sad but also quite normal! I think people play out their vision etc of their baby and family life in their head and if you then find out it’s not what you’d imagined you have to rewrite the script! I think that applies for some people definitely they have to get their heads around a change. What I don’t get is gender reveal videos.. I hate them think they’re such an attention grabby cringey thing!! X

It's a common saying around how sons and daughters vary

But please continue with the personal attacks

They hurt my feelings so much

Not

It was.

If you have actually been appointed as official thread police by mumsnet, can I give feedback and say you’re doing a shit job. And if you haven’t, please leave me alone.

Both DH and I have a preference and I suspect a lot of parents do have a preference. I want a son and DH wants a daughter. We don’t know yet if we will have one due to 1 in 4 chance of any child we have being born with microcephaly. What do we really want? A healthy child. No reveal party just us finding out when our child is born.

I don’t judge though if people choose to find out even if it is at a reveal party. Just don’t let your child see your disappointment.

I suspect you put 0 value on anybody’s to be honest.

Yanbu. Being disappointed in a child before it’s even born = crap parent.

That’s unfair and a very closed view of a potentially wider issue.

It’s sex, not gender.

And I think those parties are crass and creepy anyway.

But no, you’re not being unreasonable. Those poor kids. You can’t control what sex of child you get (though plenty of people try in order to have a boy…) - people should just be grateful to be having a healthy baby, if they’re so fortunate.

I agree with @crosstalk

Sex is not gender

A hospital with a policy to not tell people the sex of their baby?? I think you must have that wrong.

^^ This.

Then please report to the mods to change my post to Sex Reveal Parties.

FFS. Absolute energy vampires.

I have 3 daughters, two of whom are teens.
I never had gender disappointment until now

@Sometimeswinning

Many hospitals refuse to tell people the sex during scans

Most of which will be located in areas where certain religions or cultures make up a large % of the population

Luton and Dunstable for example doesn't tell parents for this reason