Our cost of living crisis. The only solution is to move and uproot the children (teens) but AIBU - WWYD?

[Powerdough]

So we are in real trouble. Redundancy (Covid related). Business bankruptcy. Disability, caring responsibilities, we are self employed now, but not bringing in enough for a mortgage that was taken when we had what we thought secure business and jobs. Now it is totally unaffordable and with the insane cost of living we are going to start defaulting in a few months. We can't keep up with bills as it is. We definitely can't find an extra £700 a month for energy bills. I am anxious and I feel like this is a slow moving car crash.
We have the option to sell our house and move to a rent free property that belongs to a family member. The only problem is that it is at the other end of the country literally in the middle of nowhere (think the most remotest part of the British Isles). I would love it, DP and I can work from home. We could financially ride out this shit storm. But for our teens it would be awful. One is in the middle of his A-Level course and expected to get top grades. One is passionate about a hobby (sport) and trains competitively, wants to make it into a career, there are no facilities or opportunities where we would be moving. They would leave behind their friends.
On one hand, economic realities dictate that sometimes you have to do hard things. But I dread what it would mean for the kids. How should I talk to them? I don't want to make them anxious but I also think we need to be realistic and live according to our means even if it means moving. WWYD

I would rather be able to keep a roof over our heads, and food in the table. A levels can be delayed/resat. The hobby might have to be replaced with an alternative. A levels and a hobby do not trump, surviving. I'm sorry you're in this position. I wish you all the best.

can you sell, buy a small flat and take the rent free deal also.
go to rent free place at holidays? few years squashed in but you have no choice.

even a flat slightly out the way but enough to commute!?

even a 1 bed you could give your boys the bedroom and you take the living room. yes its shit but more preferable than losing your house?

Also if your youngest still has three years at secondary school he'd quality for free uni tuition in Scotland by the time he finishes highers so worth considering.

Could you go somewhere with more to offer and better transport? Stirling for example is well connected
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/125185946#/?channel=RES_BUY

Or Perth handy for heading north but easy to get to

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/find.html?locationIdentifier=REGION%5E1060&minBedrooms=3&maxPrice=140000&propertyTypes=&includeSSTC=true&mustHave=&dontShow=&furnishTypes=&keywords=

What sort of equity do you have? Is buying an option anywhere?

If you can't afford to stay in Cornwall then your best option is to fudge someway to support your eldest through a levels (time for house to sell, friends and family) and build a family life somewhere cheaper

Oh God, really feel for you
could you rent out your house, move a bit further away and rent a bit cheaper

So I presume you've set out all the options and pros and cons of each option?

Try to stay where you are, rent out a room to a lodger, dont assume your bills will go up to £700 a month, they might not, see if you can move to interest only

Is your A level son over 18? Can he move out on his own accord and claim benefits, there are circumstances this applies, the disadvantage would be that you would no longer get CB or other benefits associated with looking after him

Do your teens have part time jobs, can this provide contributions to their food bills (not ideal, reeks of Dickens but keeps them in their own home), would this even be enough to survive

If you move to this free rental place, how does WFH work if the wifi is ropey, what about heating bills up there, are there problems with having 'free' accommodation in terms of your family members tax implications as they are still a landlord. What about petrol costs to get anywhere, huge journey times. No schools for the kids, no friends, no hobbies. How long would you stay there?

Option of moving to rented near where you are now, using the equity for your rental payments, what are the pros and cons to this, is it feasible, agencies will not often rent to you if you're going to be overcrowded so its hard getting a small place and deciding the parents sleep on the sofa, you wont be allowed to rent that property. Do you have a guarantor if you have a poor credit rating

Option of getting a mortgage with a provider that is designed for higher risk borrowers, the disadvantage is the high rate but I paid 8% on my payments back in the 90s, it seemed normal then. Then you get to choose the size of the home, doesnt matter if its too small, also build up your credit rating again and change to a new mortgage when its repaired, bills will be smaller, kids get to stay where they are

I think given how serious things are, you need to sit down with your DC and explain the situation to them. See what they say. They may wish to go to Scotland despite the consequences in order to keep the family together and a roof over your heads. It doesn't have to be forever.

Have a look up north. Some very good schools/colleges in Wirral/Cheshire area and would get a decent house if moving up from south.

Hey OP!

also in Cornwall so scratching my head for you thinking

can you clarify the DC living situation a bit more please as I’m not understanding it! Are two living with you part time? sorry if I’ve missed any explanation

I agree. They might surprise you.

You can't rent where you are, you can't pull three kids out of their schools and friendships to live in rural, isolated Scotland.

So where's the nearest you could move to that you can afford that you could run your business from and that has sport middle child goes to? There are other six form colleges, there are other schools, there are other special schools.

I also agree with this.

I think kids are likely to feel overwhelmed and obliged to agree, no matter how carefully parents set out that they dont have to agree. They're going to want to make their mum and dad feel better.

Rest assured OP, no matter what decision you make it wont be 'wrong'. It will be the best choice out of a lot of rubbish options where you just have to do your best to survive.

I think you should default. Scary I know but with a child with complex medical needs I cant see your lender every reposessing the house. As long as you turned up at court and explained your situation a judge will usually grant in favour of the house owner as long as a reasonable sum can be agreed on as repayment. It will buy you time repossessions take forever. Time for your kids to finish exams probably and by then we should gave ridden out the storm and if the worst comes and you still have to sell to stop repossession eventually then so what. Your no worse off than you are now. Go to the Scotland property then.

Where in Scotland would you have the free accommodation? There is a big difference between Oban or Fort William, both of which are about two hours from Glasgow, and somewhere very remote in the far north which was two hours from Inverness. Oban or Fort William are decent sized towns and should have good internet whereas somewhere that is more remote may not.

Air bnb is a tough gig and very labour intensive for landlords. Email directly and ask if they’d consider a long term tenant. A steady consistent income at a time when they are also worrying about bills and casual tourism is likely to wane. I think you’ll find one who will jump at the offer.

So what happens to your stepchildren then if you currently have them half the time?

What about their credit rating though, it will affect insurance, phone contracts, broadband, future ability to rent property, any business accounts

Yes this is what I would do.

I hope you can find a way to make it work. The sporting opportunities here are really good (surprisingly good) ime. I wish I could think of something.

They often have service charges running into the thousands per year, often more than some mortgages, then there are the bills because they're often poorly insulated, not like a house, often on the highest tarrif because its a deal with the park owner and the fuel company.

They are not cheap options

This is why its unfair when you read on threads

'why did he (its always he) move so far away from his ex wife'

Well this is why, this is what happens, people have to move for housing or work.

Could you look at buying a caravan on a site? I see mobile homes and caravans pop up for sale fairly regularly where I am (South East England). Not necessarily ideal but more chance of having enough equity to buy one outright and being able to remain in the area you live in.

I think you should default. Scary I know but with a child with complex medical needs I cant see your lender every reposessing the house. As long as you turned up at court and explained your situation a judge will usually grant in favour of the house owner as long as a reasonable sum can be agreed on as repayment. It will buy you time repossessions take forever. Time for your kids to finish exams probably and by then we should gave ridden out the storm and if the worst comes and you still have to sell to stop repossession eventually then so what. Your no worse off than you are now. Go to the Scotland property then.

This. Call the bank's bluff, they don't actually want to repossess your home. They will find a way to re-finance you. And if you can't find a mutually-agreeable financial solution with the bank, the process of repossession takes a long time and you can lodge appeals etc, so it's going to take you ages to pushed out.