Our cost of living crisis. The only solution is to move and uproot the children (teens) but AIBU - WWYD?

[Powerdough]

So we are in real trouble. Redundancy (Covid related). Business bankruptcy. Disability, caring responsibilities, we are self employed now, but not bringing in enough for a mortgage that was taken when we had what we thought secure business and jobs. Now it is totally unaffordable and with the insane cost of living we are going to start defaulting in a few months. We can't keep up with bills as it is. We definitely can't find an extra £700 a month for energy bills. I am anxious and I feel like this is a slow moving car crash.
We have the option to sell our house and move to a rent free property that belongs to a family member. The only problem is that it is at the other end of the country literally in the middle of nowhere (think the most remotest part of the British Isles). I would love it, DP and I can work from home. We could financially ride out this shit storm. But for our teens it would be awful. One is in the middle of his A-Level course and expected to get top grades. One is passionate about a hobby (sport) and trains competitively, wants to make it into a career, there are no facilities or opportunities where we would be moving. They would leave behind their friends.
On one hand, economic realities dictate that sometimes you have to do hard things. But I dread what it would mean for the kids. How should I talk to them? I don't want to make them anxious but I also think we need to be realistic and live according to our means even if it means moving. WWYD

Are the 2 stepkids older than your 2 teens or are the 2 teens uour stepkids?

Is the family member with the house your relative or DPs? I would be even more reticent to move it was DP’s relative, you and your DCs would be so vulnerable if the relationship broke down. Never a nice thought and you can’t plan for the worst, but for me that would be another important factor.

Could you plan to rent out your house for next Easter and next summer? Would you be able to stay in the house in Scotland? Your ALevel kid might have to stay in Cornwall for his revision over Easter though if you have any options. People are renting out houses for crazy money.

Isn't there any social housing in the South West? You would be a top priority if your house is repossessed because you have a child with complex needs.

Caroffee

theyd go in the queue and be able to bid like everyone else. But owning a home may be against the rules and jyst because they are homeless doesn’t mean they’d get offered a house to suit their needs

as a country we are about 17% shortage of council property and none being built fast

How much equity do you have? You can buy a 3 bed house in the catchment of an outstanding school for 130k in some parts of the country.

Excellent suggestions.

You are idolising a life which sounds amazing, in reality you will be isolated and struggle to get incomes again.

suggest you use your equity to rent something small, rebuild your careers and income and then get going in life again.

Do tell me where.

I’d be planting my feet firmly in that house and not budging. Keep making regular monthly payments of something even if it’s not the full mortgage amount. Get everything in writing about why they should be letting you stay. Can DH get a job? Have you looked into all other support available? The lodger is a good idea, is that feasible if your kids don’t currently share a bedroom?

If they sell their house then they I presume will have some equity to put a roof over their heads even if it is a caravan or caravans.

Some plots do come with water and electrics but if not they can be brought in from most roads

My family did this at one stage in the 70s. we had a caravan parked up outside a derelict house. Our electric came from an oil fired generator my grandfather rigged up.
Water was from what was left of the house.

i would not go to the place in Scotland it would do untold damage to your children and if it is so out of the way I wonder if you could actually wfh there.

I have lived in out of the way areas, not even as far north as Scotland where there is no service for mobile phones never mind an internet connection.

I was in rented in one place last year and the owner was trying to sell her larger property and the small cottages on the plot.

She kept reducing the price but viewers came and went when they realised the internet signal was so poor that even getting a phone signal was virtually impossible.
You couldn’t even get a tv. The area just wasn’t conducive to receiving a good signal.
I wonder if the place in Scotland is the same and that is why the relatives can’t find anyone to live their and the house is standing empty

It's drastic, but could you or your husband find work in the UAE or similar? Its our back up plan if all hell breaks lose because my DH could easily get work out there paying huge money. Living costs are expensive but he'd still make enough to send home to keep us afloat. That's if you didn't want to move the whole gang. Lots of families have parents who work out there and then travel home in holidays.

Have you spoken to your mortgage company, when exH lost his job they allowed us to pay interest only as long as we reviewed every 3 months, it might buy you time until oldest finish's his A levels. Speak to Citizens Advice they will help you look at your outgoings with a fresh eye and negotiate freezing interest etc.

I really understand how desperate you must feel but speaking as a former child who was uprooted every couple of years as a child please please please don’t move the kids out of the area at this time. Absolutely yes sell the house, but if you can get a cheaper rental and qualify for housing benefit due to low income would that help until they finish their current studies?

You should absolutely stay as long as you can to allow your oldest DC to sit his A levels and your other DC to enjoy their sport. Knowing the state of the British courts system atm and the absolute avalanche of home owners who will be in just your situation in a few months' time, I reckon you can drag this out for quite some time - possibly years. There are huge disadvantages to you and your family if you leave your home voluntarily and, as you say, your credit is fucked anyway.

this may have been suggested already, but here’s what I’d consider….

sell the house.

use the equity to buy a small place in your current location.

you, husband and rest of family move to rent free property.

leave your two sons in the rental property, so they can continue their studies.

cheap flights still available so book ahead so you can see kids regularly.

it’s far from ideal, but if your 2 sons were up for it, it could work.

Under £100k can buy a 4 bed family home in the North East with fabulous facilities and access to any sport I can think of.

You can live mortgage free and could have an income from carer's allowance and disability benefits. Why not choose a cheaper area?