Our cost of living crisis. The only solution is to move and uproot the children (teens) but AIBU - WWYD?

[Powerdough]

So we are in real trouble. Redundancy (Covid related). Business bankruptcy. Disability, caring responsibilities, we are self employed now, but not bringing in enough for a mortgage that was taken when we had what we thought secure business and jobs. Now it is totally unaffordable and with the insane cost of living we are going to start defaulting in a few months. We can't keep up with bills as it is. We definitely can't find an extra £700 a month for energy bills. I am anxious and I feel like this is a slow moving car crash.
We have the option to sell our house and move to a rent free property that belongs to a family member. The only problem is that it is at the other end of the country literally in the middle of nowhere (think the most remotest part of the British Isles). I would love it, DP and I can work from home. We could financially ride out this shit storm. But for our teens it would be awful. One is in the middle of his A-Level course and expected to get top grades. One is passionate about a hobby (sport) and trains competitively, wants to make it into a career, there are no facilities or opportunities where we would be moving. They would leave behind their friends.
On one hand, economic realities dictate that sometimes you have to do hard things. But I dread what it would mean for the kids. How should I talk to them? I don't want to make them anxious but I also think we need to be realistic and live according to our means even if it means moving. WWYD

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Firstly I was moved about as a kid and in many ways it was good for me. Mid A-levels obviously not ideal though. For the younger child they will adjust.
Might be a stretch but could you possibly rent the free place out for awhile and use the rent to help cover the mortgage?

Right. If you can work from home then you can work anywhere in the country. You’re already considering moving. So…

1. how much equity do you have left?
2. what’s the sport?

because, for example, if it’s surfing then you can move to the north east and we can find you somewhere in budget.

It might be a niche sport, but it cannot be so niche he can only do it in one small part of the south west…

I'd make the move and find somewhere for your eldest to board to complete his A levels. In ten months, he'll be done with school and can spend the summer with you before heading to uni.

Your youngest, still three years from GCSEs, must be in Year 8? I am a teacher and would move a child in Years 8-9. He will adjust. It is a shame about his sport. Is there anywhere you could travel to, so that he can still compete? If not, unfortunately, your family's desperate financial situation must take priority.

by the time you’ve moved your A level student will only have 6 months left - I would definitely try the above idea of trying to find a friend’s family to lodge with til the end of A Levels - bursaries are often available from small, local charities to help keep adolescents in school/college so that could help with the costs of paying another family board and lodging.

The younger one might need to find a new sport/hobby to channel interest into. What transferable skills are there in the current one? Team or solo? I bet you can find something and it will help them make new friends post-move.

you’ll just have to be frank and tell them staying where you are isn’t an option.

well done for getting out in front of all this - it’s scary so you are doing well to tackle it head on rather than hide in denial.

Are there any rooms in your house you could possibly rent out, even if it means sleeping on a sofa bed in the living room to generate extra cash?

Rather than being self employed could you not look for new better paying jobs with an employer?

The renting a room is a good suggestion, I would have thought even the teens would prefer to rent their bedroom than move to the middle of nowhere.

Are you sure your DS wouldn't be able to get a sports scholarship at a boarding school? I've known DC at national/international level in sports like kickboxing, shooting and skiing win sports scholarships. They might not be typical school sports but they were awarded sports scholarships because of the prestige it brings to the school to have a national champion attending.

Back when I was a teenager, my school rebuilt the old gym and equipped it (the main gym was out of action for an entire year!) and hired a coach for a Russian Olympic gymnast that came on a 2 week language exchange and asked if they would give her a full scholarship to stay. Gymnastics wasn't even on offer as a sports option before that! This was during the communist era, so there were lots of hoops to jump through to be able to get her over to the UK. It must have cost the school a small fortune.

I know a pp suggested Cornwall but I assumed northern Scotland as that is far more remote/rural, in which case there is the added complication of doing Scottish qualifications. If I were your teens I'd much rather downsize to the shittiest flat available than move to a new area with a different education system and no access to sports facilities. Also bear in mind the cost of travelling home when they teens go to university.

Things are desperate for you. If there is such a shortage of rented places can you get your sons to share a bedroom and rent out the largest one? Will that bring enough or not?

You may save on rent/mortgage but you’d be wise to consider much higher cost of living costs if you are really remote. Cost of shopping, lack of online delivery possibly or more expensive, petrol or public transport costing more. Not to mention still having to pay increased power costs regardless (and they could be considerable if working from home).

Look mumsnetters are a handy lot and between them know loads of stuff, tell us the sport and remote location and maybe someone can help...Oldest can defo lodge with someone if need be. The most important things appears to be selling as soon as possible, even if it means renting somewhere tiny for a bit...

I moved with my parents at the same stage as your eldest
It was not ideal but I understood they had no choice
Got my head down,got fab results, went to Uni
all fine

I was assuming OP is poking at mobi g from the southwest of England to the north of Scotland, possibly to one of the islands? If so that is a massive move and on moves two different education systems so I would try if at all possible to get your DC through their exams and then move. There must be somewhere else in England that you can move to which will cost you less than you pay now? If you are both working then you could rent rather than buy in the short term?

Looking at moving. I should read before posting.

I'm just wondering what you would do if there wasn't an option to move somewhere rent free, as that might serve as a compromise.

Compromise location to buy outright? Midlands is cheaper. Eldest stays with a friend

Can you share the sport op? It would help people to advise.

I was also going to suggest your son boarding with someone locally, term-time. It'll only be 9/10 months if he's got one school year left of A levels.

How much equity do you have OP?

Everyone saying buy - even if they can get am adverse mortgage with someone like Together, the rate's going to be something like 8% at the moment, which means monthly payments on a smaller place may also be unaffordable.

Don't sell your house, that's crazy.

Rent it out and keep your asset

Lots of terrible advice on here
Don't sell without speaking to your mortgage lender and claiming hardship. See what they offer you.

Wowowowoh back up a moment!

Are your energy bills really going up by £700 a month?!

Also, don't move the a level kid. If necessary rent a room for him in town or with a friend

Think it all through a bit more. The £700 per month increase in energy sounds wrong, make sure you double check

We live in a badly insulated 4 bed and our bill has risen from 150 to 300. Bad. But not 700!

You could move to free house, WFH, and pay for your teens to dtay behind, lodge with sensible schoolfriend parents (or relatives) until A levels are over.

In the current climate, there must be plenty of families eager to acquire a couple of well behaved teen lodgers out at school all day.

Sell. Put your money away. Live rent free.

A level student to stay locally... friends, lodgings etc.

Tell us more about your year 9 child and his sport... maybe there is some other option...

Will your joint income cover bills in the new property and leave you with any excess income?

Will your equity buy you anything anywhere??? Even a one bed remote to secure your retirement?

Do you have any family where you live now? Is there anyobe else who can help you? 5 years for your youngest is a long time until you get him over the line..