Told my ex to “go fuck herself”

[Jasong92]

I need some advice/guidance please?

Me and my partner recently split up, everything was going well but social services got involved, told her a load of lies about me and she believes them and left me (I’m awaiting CAB to phone and to take SS to court as they’ve lied about me to my ex so I can clear my name)

Anyway she had unblocked me again today after reblocking me many times and was ready to start talking at first but then each time it got to where she was having a go at me.

I’ve had so much pressure on me this week with that and being emotional and upset losing the women I had a marriage booked with who I love with all my heart, I was upset at her behaviour and told her to “go fuck herself” I instantly regretted it and apologised several times but it wasn’t going enough she said don’t ever contact me again or come to my house I’ll see you in hell and blocked me on everything, my behaviour was bang out of order and I apologised many times straight away, but she didn’t care and says she wants nothing more to do with me but she’s pregnant with our child, have I ruined it and is she gone forever do you think?😞😭

Thank you

Asking on here as women know what things like this mean, thank you all again!

Do you see/have contact with your other daughters? Could what SS have to say have something to do with them?

What post are you reading and how on earth have you arrived at this conclusion ??? The OP isn’t in a relationship with the mother of his children - that was a previous relationship. His GF is pregnant with their first child and was approached by SS, not the other way around - possibly acting on info provided by his previous partner. Bizarre.

It wasn’t intentionally drip fed although I understand what you’re saying I was just emotional posting this last night so thinking of it with a sound mind this morning and I understand their are a lot of women here who have been through DV and totally respect and appreciate that they may suspect me of it and that is their right however now I have no choice but to leave her alone as I’m blocked on everything but one social media account and I don’t plan on messaging her on it, and working to prove the information is wrong and clear my name and I agree, losing myself and my temper like that is proving everyone right in what they are saying but it’s not and was an emotional response to what she was saying at the time which again was wrong of me to say and no it isn’t ideal and that’s what’s frustrating me the most, she has seen my SAR, has done a Claire’s law and Sarah’s law on me so knows deep down I don’t have this background but somehow she is believing what they’ve said despite seeing legal documents about me -.- I am working to put her needs first as I can’t overlook them or it looks asif I don’t care about them and I do, SS initiated this and I haven’t done anything so far apart from saying what I said but before that last week she said “you’ve hurt us all” but I’ve not done anything to hurt them. It’s not about me but I’m a victim of false information been given to her about me, we do need to sort this out sooner rather than later before baby comes I agree otherwise it will be toxic when he/she does

He meant together.

My daughters mother told my ex yesterday that I haven’t stopped calling her, which is false I think that was an attempt to try and make her jealous as I know my daughters mother still loves me despite being with someone else, she told me this prior to me meeting my ex

You're right. I misread the first bit as saying his GF had told SS 'a load of lies' about him rather than the other way round.

How do you know what your mother's daughter told your ex?

Its amazing that you're the only person telling the truth in a world full of people making up lies about you for no reason at all.

It is a bit difficult to disentangle though isn’t it ? Bit of a drip feed at first and then it all came tumbling out !!

What's your relationship like with the mother(s) of your children? Has there ever been SS involvement there or is it with the ex with the son only?

Because I was speaking to my ex and she told me this last night before she blocked me for what I said, hey I’m no angel don’t get me wrong we’ve all lied about stuff in the past, I like many others have lied about stuff in the past and I hold my hands up to those lies, but what I won’t do is hold my hands up to something that is false about me, I’m not young anymore I’m in my 30s and see that what as a i child I’d see as a harmless lie now is very very wrong, like I say I’m not going to sit here and allow lies about me to be spoken, when I have factual, and concrete evidence to prove that what the SS have told my ex, has been invented and told to her. I said to her if she left I wouldn’t give up the fight, that I wouldn’t harass or go to her house and I haven’t and wont but that I’d not give up and fight for her in the background, this is that fight, to clear my name and show her that the man who opens doors for her, makes sure she never goes without flowers, treats her like a queen is the man that I really am and not the man I have been portrayed as.

Sorry this wasn’t intentional, just I’ve had a lot of information to process and trying to remember everything in my mind, with the rollercoaster of emotions it’s hard to remember everything what got said, not now as I’m of a clear mind but last night I was upset and not thinking straight

I’m going to court for access to my daughter as she has stopped contact as she’s basically used my work against me that I can’t commit to the hours she wants me to because of my job and would often inbox me at last minute asking me to have her and get mad when I’d say I can’t because I have to work to keep paying CM etc and even went as far as to say “well can’t you tell your boss you have a child you need to mind” I wish things worked like that and stopped me seeing her because I couldn’t have her the days she wanted me to

And yes their was SS involved with my other children but I was honest about this from the off with them as was my ex as to her having involvement.

What malice ? He drip fed information on a forum accessed by women who are victims of abuse or have witnessed it, and only came back to explain more when he got jumped on. What did he expect ? People were responding to the information they were given and most correctly called it as a core investigation by SS for possible domestic violence history, posing a threat to his GF and their unborn child. Once we got more information and context, more advice was forthcoming.

I haven’t and wont but that I’d not give up and fight for her in the background, this is that fight, to clear my name and show her that the man who opens doors for her, makes sure she never goes without flowers, treats her like a queen is the man that I really am and not the man I have been portrayed as.

Yeah, I'm going back to my original thought that your ex is on here and you're trying to get through to her.

What was this involvement for? I'm not trying to be a dick but this might explain why they've said what they have.a

Unintentionally drip fed, I was quite emotional coming here last night as it had literally just happened when I submitted the post here so I quickly wrote the basics to get some advice on if that was a deal breaker and people sought more information which I didn’t think they’d want whilst I was upset last night.

Nothing relating to domestic violence which is why I’m so dare I say annoyed, and upset at why they’ve told her this as it is totally false, I asked for a meeting with the SS so they could clarify where they got that from and they were deflective and refused and wouldn’t explain nothing as to where they got that information from and couldnt explain my extensive “violent” background

Thank you and I’m sure you know that’s easier said than done lol, I tried to get her to see that it wasn’t personal when I said what I said and that it was based on emotions and feelings and that basically the weight of the world is on my shoulders, I have my family in one ear saying to do this do that, friends telling me to do another and work colleagues telling me to do something else so I have 3 different parties all telling me what’s best to do and although some things are similar the 3 parties are all telling me different things and it just made me worry worse, I agree though I do need to stabilise myself and get into court to clear my name, work are helping me get overtime to pay for a solicitor to do so.

thanks mate

OP unless I have misunderstood you said the baby she is pregnant with isn't yours. As you don't have parental rights you need to back off whether or not the social services allegations are valid. Contacting her will not help your case. There is nothing to 'sort out' if she has decided she doesn't want to have a relationship with you and you don't have children together.

Hi, no you have misunderstood that the baby she is carrying is mine, hence not wanting it to end here, relationship or not, I’d love to be with her as we are having a baby and had a marriage booked however I’d be happy just to be involved with the baby and to be a dad, I need to clear my name first and foremost I think is the first step to get back into their lives.

this is that fight, to clear my name and show her that the man who opens doors for her, makes sure she never goes without flowers, treats her like a queen is the man that I really am and not the man I have been portrayed as.

Well, OP that's a load of superficial stuff. Again: you need to re-evaluate what it is you think you bring to the table in terms of relationship (if she wants that) and support etc with the child. Not stuff about doors and flowers.