Told my ex to “go fuck herself”

[Jasong92]

I need some advice/guidance please?

Me and my partner recently split up, everything was going well but social services got involved, told her a load of lies about me and she believes them and left me (I’m awaiting CAB to phone and to take SS to court as they’ve lied about me to my ex so I can clear my name)

Anyway she had unblocked me again today after reblocking me many times and was ready to start talking at first but then each time it got to where she was having a go at me.

I’ve had so much pressure on me this week with that and being emotional and upset losing the women I had a marriage booked with who I love with all my heart, I was upset at her behaviour and told her to “go fuck herself” I instantly regretted it and apologised several times but it wasn’t going enough she said don’t ever contact me again or come to my house I’ll see you in hell and blocked me on everything, my behaviour was bang out of order and I apologised many times straight away, but she didn’t care and says she wants nothing more to do with me but she’s pregnant with our child, have I ruined it and is she gone forever do you think?😞😭

Thank you

Asking on here as women know what things like this mean, thank you all again!

Anybody see that Fesshole last week where someone claimed to come on AIBU, spout something inflammatory and clear off?

🥸

Damn those social services and their pesky lies, always starting Chinese whispers for shits and giggles 🙄

Presumably social services got involved because of something that was said to the midwife.

So, either: there's been social services involvement in the past for one of you, there's been abuse in your relationship and she doesn't feel safe or there's drink/drugs issues.

Social Services- How come they even know of you and your ex?
There must be SS involvement historically?

Why on earth would they contact your GF otherwise ?

The only thing that will help us to have a long hard look at this situation from her perspective. It sounds like her main focus is being able to keep her child.

If she is the mother of your children what you want or should want is that your children are protected.
She has to take seriously what social services have told her.

What would be the worst thing here

1. she complies with SS recommendations to protect your child
2. you are frustrated and angry

If you are self aware you'll know that 2) is the best option there.

OP, you are in a difficult situation. There is a forum and helpline on the Family Rights Group website where you will be able to get advice about topics related to involvement with social services, including how to proceed if you have been unfairly represented or false accusations have been made.

You must be really worried about what will happen in the future, and you need informed advice about your rights/involvement as a father.

I have found the FRG really helpful in the past.

Good luck.

So social services have been involved and determined that you are a risk to your unborn child. They’ve advised your ex that she needs to leave you and have nothing more to do with you. And (unlike many women in similar positions), she’s had the strength to follow their advice and sever ties with you.

It sounds like you should leave the woman alone and actually reflect on what it is about you that’s caused such concern to social services (and whoever referred you to them). Then, maybe, you will have some chance of a successful relationship in the future.

This ^

Men just cannot hear the word 'no' can they? It's like it is too high pitched for their delicate ears.

OP - when she says 'don't ever contact me or come to my house', what she means is 'go fuck yourself'.

Hope that helps.

OP hasn't been back, but I bet they're loving the attention this is getting.

Er - no, actually. It’s very relevant. SS don’t get involved with adult relationships as a norm, and they generally don't rock up to someone’s home and tell a pack of lies about their partner. The OP hasn’t been specific about what ‘lies’ SS have told and doesn’t tell us that his GF is pregnant with his child until the end of the post.

What I suspect is that the OP has history which has flagged them up as a safeguarding issue to mother and child, and I’m guessing the ‘load of lies’ is actually something to do with a SS core assessment designed to assess the risk he poses to them. In which case it’s very relevant because posters wanting to help and advise (note, I said ‘help’, not ‘entertainment’) need to know that the GF has far more pressing reasons for blocking him and ending the relationship, than him telling her to ‘go fuck herself’. Not entirely sure the post is genuine to be honest.

she said don’t ever contact me again or come to my house I’ll see you in hell and blocked me on everything

Asking on here as women know what things like this mean, thank you all again!

It means "don't ever contact me again or come to my house I'll see you in hell". I thought it was quite clear.

Do yourself a favour for your possible next ralationship: women don't use a different language. They use the same language with words and meanings that you do. If you are confused by that very clear message you urgently need to watch the tea consent video. And then work on yourself some more.

And LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE

Do you have kids together? I can’t tell from your OP.
If no, please leave her alone and cut all ties.

This isn’t a made up story, I was looking for advice from a woman’s point of view?

The words used by the OP aren't the real issue - how could you possibly think they were in the context of that post?

Almost all relationships have arguments at some point where people say things like this in the heat of the moment that they later regret... and if the outburst isn't part of a larger pattern, it's quickly forgiven and forgotten in the days and weeks that follow. I've yet to see any otherwise healthy committed relationship end because someone got upset and said something like the OP did in isolation.

The words pale into utter insignificance against the fact SS have clearly informed the OP's now ex-DP that he's a threat to her unborn child (I can't think of any other plausible reason SS would be involved), and communicating things that the OP has presumably previously had not communicated to his ex-DP.

Now that is MASSIVE.... far, far larger than saying "go fuck yourself" in the heat of the moment.

She is pregnant with my child at the moment yes but no other children

I am leaving her alone but my issue is she’s said this before and in the days that followed unblocked me?

I didn’t come here to be jumped on, just for some advice.

She’s said all of this before though and then in the days that follow unblocked me again? You don’t need to shout im only here for advice from people.

What did social services tell her then? Why are they involved?

Cool story bro
4Chan is ➡️Way

Hi, this post is genuine, very genuine in fact I wouldn’t come here making stuff up I have better things to do with my day, I have a copy of my SAR (Subject Access Request) from the police that proves I don’t have this violent background they are speaking of, she even said she did a Claire’s law and Sarah’s law on me and they both came back clear but claims they have let her down as SS have told her all of this stuff. I’m in a whirlwind of emotions right now and said something in the heat of the moment and am now truly regretting it as she knew I was waiting to get this into court to fight for her back and I feel like I may have just screwed her up, she suffered DV with her ex over 4 years and compared me to him after 1 emotional verbal outburst and said she had that from him over 4 years and won’t from me so I feel I’ve fully pushed her away for good, can it/will it be repaired? :/

im just scared that’s fully done it and she won’t come back, I love her and we are expecting a child together.

you don’t have to message/call her even if she has unblocked you.

We’ve both had involvement with SS in the past and they said they needed to do some more digging but I didn’t find out what this “digging” was before she left me and blocked me after I dropped her back at home, she said in the days after that “I know about your violent background.. that’s why I left” she hasn’t explained to me what else they have said and they can’t tell me as I don’t have PR but even though I’m not on the scene they are still continuing their investigation with just my ex and her son at the moment (her son isn’t mine)

Ah. So your violent background is key here.

Thanks I just think I need to give her time and space and hope those words haven’t done it and she’s serious about wanting nothing more to do with me if she does unblock me I won’t be making the contact I’ll have to just let her come to me.