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Original poster

Told my ex to “go fuck herself”

251 replies

Jasong92 · 28/08/2022 23:47

I need some advice/guidance please?

Me and my partner recently split up, everything was going well but social services got involved, told her a load of lies about me and she believes them and left me (I’m awaiting CAB to phone and to take SS to court as they’ve lied about me to my ex so I can clear my name)

Anyway she had unblocked me again today after reblocking me many times and was ready to start talking at first but then each time it got to where she was having a go at me.

I’ve had so much pressure on me this week with that and being emotional and upset losing the women I had a marriage booked with who I love with all my heart, I was upset at her behaviour and told her to “go fuck herself” I instantly regretted it and apologised several times but it wasn’t going enough she said don’t ever contact me again or come to my house I’ll see you in hell and blocked me on everything, my behaviour was bang out of order and I apologised many times straight away, but she didn’t care and says she wants nothing more to do with me but she’s pregnant with our child, have I ruined it and is she gone forever do you think?😞😭

Thank you

Asking on here as women know what things like this mean, thank you all again!

OP posts:
MessyBunPersonified · 29/08/2022 00:50

The overworked department of SS took time out of their very busy day to find your ex and tell her a pack of lies for no reason at all?

Shes told you to leave her alone, so leave her alone. She's protecting her child.

TerrysGotPeeves · 29/08/2022 00:52

"This place is absolutely toxic sometimes."

Yes, @Trying20 , it certainly is.

Trying20 · 29/08/2022 00:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn by the OP

TerrysGotPeeves · 29/08/2022 00:56

I do. I'm also not going to derail the OP's thread by getting into a discussion with someone who's itching for a fight, so I'm going to step away, wish the OP well, and hope that they can do right by their child.

DdraigGoch · 29/08/2022 01:00

If she has blocked you on everything then of course it's finally final.

Sounds like she may well have good reason, social services are heavily overworked and don't have time for baseless gossip. With data protection, they'd have needed a very compelling reason to pass on information about someone.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 29/08/2022 01:02

takealettermsjones · 28/08/2022 23:52

"she said don’t ever contact me again or come to my house"

"Asking on here as women know what things like this mean"

It's a real mystery.

Isn't it just!
😂😂😂

Pixiedust1234 · 29/08/2022 01:06

As a woman, if the ss got involved with me because of you then I would run a mile. Guessing she has too.

Good luck in sueing the SS.

user1473878824 · 29/08/2022 01:26

it absolutely IS relevant why ss felt the need to ring a woman to tell her something about her partner. The rest of it is childish bickering but doesn’t exactly bode well.

Londonactive · 29/08/2022 01:27

Some women on this website are really nasty pieces of work honestly. There are too many spiteful, condescending bullies to count and that is worrying.

MessyBunPersonified · 29/08/2022 01:33

Londonactive · 29/08/2022 01:27

Some women on this website are really nasty pieces of work honestly. There are too many spiteful, condescending bullies to count and that is worrying.

There are also lots of abusive men who have been dumped, and blocked, who know their ex uses MN and start threads in the hope of her seeing the thread (added bonus if the bloke misrepresents the story enough for posters to agree he is fantastic and his ex is ridiculous).

Trying20 · 29/08/2022 01:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn by the OP

k1233 · 29/08/2022 01:35

@Jasong92 do you know the one thing about words? You can't take them back. Sorry doesn't erase what you have said. Fir future relationships I'd strongly suggest pausing before you speak and making a conscious decision about what you say, knowing that once said it is out there forever and can't be taken back.

rosamacrose · 29/08/2022 01:45

MessyBunPersonified · 29/08/2022 01:33

There are also lots of abusive men who have been dumped, and blocked, who know their ex uses MN and start threads in the hope of her seeing the thread (added bonus if the bloke misrepresents the story enough for posters to agree he is fantastic and his ex is ridiculous).

Show quote history

Yep.

Dita73 · 29/08/2022 02:50

Do some people really get so bored that they feel the need to come in here and make up these bullshit stories? Sad really

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 29/08/2022 03:43

My advice and guidance is around the correct use of quotation marks.

The word(s) within a set of quotation marks are supposed to be exactly what was said, which presumably in this case was "go fuck yourself" not "go fuck herself".

MintJulia · 29/08/2022 03:44

This reply has been deleted

This post has been withdrawn by the OP

Why SS are involved is very relevant. If the OP was on the point of marrying his pregnant girlfriend and then SS services informed her that they would not allow them to live together because the child would be considered at risk, on the basis of a past conviction OP had neglected to mention, then that is very relevant.
Or have SS simply committed a case of mistaken identity.

If the first, then I'd say the chances of the girlfriend coming round are vanishingly small.

WeIoveyouMissHannigan · 29/08/2022 03:50

Most pregnant women wouldn’t terminate a relationship without bloody good reason so I suspect you’re not giving us the full story.

At all.

BlueSkyAndButterflies · 29/08/2022 04:06

Yes it's over because she's said so. Breaking up only takes for one person to decide it. She's gone further than that and said she wants nothing to do with you, leave her alone. The "don't come to my house" part suggests she's worried you won't respect her decision. Being told to leave her alone should be enough for anyone to do just that.

Stop trying to justify your behaviour. Saying you told her to "go fuck herself" because conversation kept deteriorating into her having a go at you. You're making out she had no right to have a go at you. Us reading this thread don't know if that's true. Maybe she's a nightmare and you finally snapped. Or maybe your words and behaviour were totally unreasonable and provoked her into having a go at you.

Repeated blocking/unblocking suggests she's struggling with her emotions too. She's also going through a breakup it's not just you. Someone deciding to end a relationship still has to come to terms with their hopes and dreams ending. A lot of women, especially ones who have a child with their partner, leave it too long to break off a bad relationship. So her decision is a big deal for her.

My guess is she's had to choose between having a relationship with you or maintaining custody of her child and can't do both. She has quite rightly chosen the child over you. Whatever she's found out may have made her not want a relationship with you now anyway, regardless of whether she was pregnant or not.

"Sorry" doesn't give you the right to be forgiven. Although apologising is the right thing to do when you've done something bad. But it doesn't press the reset button and make things like they were before you said it, with her feelings about it magically disappearing like they never existed. "Sorry" isn't a magic word to get you what you want. It's supposed to be an acknowledgement to the other person that you wronged them. "Sorry" shouldn't come with any expectations attached.

If you want to fix your life for the future, take note of what SS have said, what risks they think you pose to a child. Stop calling it lies and start accepting that it's their view and it matters. Look to improve yourself, your thought processess, your behaviour, how you handle stress etc. You might want to consider therapy to help with this process of changing yourself. Obviously I don't know anything about you so maybe it simply isn't possible, but equally, with time and effort, together with a willingness to accept responsibility for your faults and put in the effort to bring about lasting change, maybe it would be possible for you to become a person who isn't a danger to a child.

TerrysGotPeeves · 29/08/2022 04:17

Londonactive · 29/08/2022 01:27

Some women on this website are really nasty pieces of work honestly. There are too many spiteful, condescending bullies to count and that is worrying.

Yes, women conversing is so concerning, who knows what we might encourage each other to get up to.

How do you determine which posters are women and which are men, by the way?

maddy68 · 29/08/2022 04:24

Social services don't get involved for no reason.

They don't tell lies

You need to leave her alone

Get advice from the cab

SuperCamp · 29/08/2022 04:58

OP: In the greater picture, telling someone to go fuck the selves in the midst of a row is unlikely to be the main cause if a permanent break up.

It doesn’t sound as if communication between you is helpful or productive at the moment. Going to her house etc will not help. Back off and give each other space.

locke360 · 29/08/2022 05:53

Whatever you have or haven't done, social services have told your ex something about you, of course she is going to believe it. They don't generally make stuff up with no reason.

You need to see this from her perspective. What else is she going to do?

If you are innocent of whatever it is, then hopefully CAB will help you clear your name and sort everything out.

Hassling her in the meantime is not going to get you anywhere, because it's all heresay, she doesn't know what to believe.

Leave her alone until all this is sorted out, and if this is meant to blow over, it will. You won't achieve anything by saying a single word to her right now.

hattie43 · 29/08/2022 06:24

Hotandbothereds · 28/08/2022 23:55

Why did SS get involved in the first place? They don’t tend to rock up unannounced with a spiel of lies for no reason whatsoever, they tend to be quite busy.

Exactly this .

MamaBear1022 · 29/08/2022 06:35

CAB won't do anything in regards to SS. You won't ever admit that you are the problem and what they are saying is true. I hope she continues to block you and stay away from you and keep her children away from you!

Twiglets1 · 29/08/2022 06:37

Taking SS to court isn’t going to end well for you. They will have all the professionals and paperwork properly aligned and you will have your ramblings & paranoia.
Save yourself the trouble, heartache and expense.