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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have outgrown men

580 replies

Namechanged007 · 28/08/2022 22:16

Before all the namalt brigade come along I'm well aware.

Thing is it's true I have outgrown the ridiculouness and childishness of men.

I'm married but even so I feel like I'd be better off alone most of the time. Nothing wrong with dh as such but I'm more able and stronger alone.

I have just been to the pub and all the women were complimentary of each other. Going with the flow. And enjoying themselves. The men were either grumpy or showing brovado. There was an incident on our table that involved new men intimidating each other and I just went home.

The thing is this isn't a table of young men. It's professionals and grown ups. I just cant be bothered with it.

None of the women got involved but it spoilt the night.

I told dh I don't have time for such pathetic behaviour.

It never ends. It doesn't matter how old or wise we become men seem to revert back to this strange behaviour.

I deal with it day in day out at my work and I simply can't be bothered. If I never had to see another man, mansplaining, dominating conversation, throwing their weight around, bravado, dick measuring, causing a scene in my life it would be too soon.

Absolutely done with it.

OP posts:
Wouldloveanother · 28/08/2022 22:18

YANBU

SupDuck · 28/08/2022 22:18

Yanbu.

1dontunderstand · 28/08/2022 22:20

Yanbu

Shyzebra · 28/08/2022 22:22

I am living proof sexuality isn’t a choice, I’d never choose to be heterosexual. If my husband and I ever separate I will never ever ever remarry

LuciferRising · 28/08/2022 22:23

Yanbu

I'd not live with a male again.

FOJN · 28/08/2022 22:24

YANBU

The behaviour you've described feels so pointless and exhausting.

ClaudiusTheGod · 28/08/2022 22:25

YANBU.

You’ve described their behaviour perfectly.

FrancescaContini · 28/08/2022 22:26

YANBU

Most men are absolute dickheads, and very very dull. Give me the company of women any day.

Thistooshallpass. · 28/08/2022 22:26

YANBU . When I look around at my female friends and family I admire so much in them . Strong women , competent women , emotionally mature women , women who cope with all life throws at them .
When I look at the males ... just so lacking . Yes some have good qualities but generally not of the same calibre as the women .
I feel men get away with / are excused for their behaviour . I'm only just realising how much I enabled the men in my life to be so crap !!

kittenkipping · 28/08/2022 22:27

God yes. I went to pub today and 6 men took 5 off f the benches in a 7 bench beer garden and each sat on an edge facing each other. Dominating the whole space. Loudly. Talking about their conquests and how a camel with lipstick approached them, or a real dog was dancing near.

Urgh. Women wouldn't do it.

User135644 · 28/08/2022 22:27

Either you've outgrown half the population or your circle are just idiots.

StopStartStop · 28/08/2022 22:27

Dick-waving.

Is this how the shift in society is going to come about - how the patriarchy will be dislodged? By women just getting bored with their bullshit?

Justanotherlurker · 28/08/2022 22:27

This reply has been deleted

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Discovereads · 28/08/2022 22:28

You need better friends.

kittenkipping · 28/08/2022 22:28

User135644 · 28/08/2022 22:27

Either you've outgrown half the population or your circle are just idiots.

Really? Are you a woman? Who's encountered men? At length? Because that really seem majority shit.

Wouldloveanother · 28/08/2022 22:29

Discovereads · 28/08/2022 22:28

You need better friends.

I see this all the time, but do you know how difficult it is to make an entire new set of close friends past school age? It’s said so flippantly yet it’s a crap suggestion really.

User135644 · 28/08/2022 22:30

kittenkipping · 28/08/2022 22:28

Really? Are you a woman? Who's encountered men? At length? Because that really seem majority shit.

Do you have sons? A father? male family? Or are they all just twats as well?

Discovereads · 28/08/2022 22:31

Wouldloveanother · 28/08/2022 22:29

I see this all the time, but do you know how difficult it is to make an entire new set of close friends past school age? It’s said so flippantly yet it’s a crap suggestion really.

No it’s not. It’s only hard for people who’ve never lived in different cities/countries/continents. You’re not locked into being friends with your best mate from Year 5.

BiasedBinding · 28/08/2022 22:31

Discovereads · 28/08/2022 22:28

You need better friends.

Not really - the female friends sound great, doesn’t sound like the OP needs new friends at all. Will have to socialise without the men I guess

Wouldloveanother · 28/08/2022 22:31

Discovereads · 28/08/2022 22:31

No it’s not. It’s only hard for people who’ve never lived in different cities/countries/continents. You’re not locked into being friends with your best mate from Year 5.

Oh that’s ok then OP can just sack off her job and emigrate can’t she? All because of one incident in a pub…

FrancescaContini · 28/08/2022 22:32

User135644 · 28/08/2022 22:27

Either you've outgrown half the population or your circle are just idiots.

No. They’re everywhere. Walk along the street: dickheads talking loudly. Sit in a restaurant: dickheads ogling my teenage DDs. Go for a quiet walk: dickheads in lycra nearly run me over on their gadget-laden bikes. Drive on a motorway: dickheads in Audis flashing at you to get out of the fast lane. Make a brief enquiry: dickhead mansplaining to me as if I am an idiot.

On and on and on. I am really gutted at times to be heterosexual.

Discovereads · 28/08/2022 22:32

BiasedBinding · 28/08/2022 22:31

Not really - the female friends sound great, doesn’t sound like the OP needs new friends at all. Will have to socialise without the men I guess

Fair point, OP you need friends with better taste in men.

mackthepony · 28/08/2022 22:32

I do agree. They are all just ass holes

User135644 · 28/08/2022 22:34

FrancescaContini · 28/08/2022 22:32

No. They’re everywhere. Walk along the street: dickheads talking loudly. Sit in a restaurant: dickheads ogling my teenage DDs. Go for a quiet walk: dickheads in lycra nearly run me over on their gadget-laden bikes. Drive on a motorway: dickheads in Audis flashing at you to get out of the fast lane. Make a brief enquiry: dickhead mansplaining to me as if I am an idiot.

On and on and on. I am really gutted at times to be heterosexual.

Most people are shit.

BigYellowElephant · 28/08/2022 22:34

Totally agree. So so lucky to be bisexuality- once my kids are grown up and I'm ready for another relationship it will only ever be with women. Fucking sick of men, about 80% are absolute twats

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