To be pissed off with this Mum

[Theblacksheepandme]

My teenage daughter went to her friends house yesterday and stayed over. She came back today and said she had a fall. Both her knees were really cut up and one of her hands. Anyway accidents happen but I am cross at how her friends Mum handled it.

My daughter said both her knees were bleeding quite bad and she went to the bathroom to clean up her knees. The Mum asked if she was ok and walked off when my daughter asked if she had a first aid kit. My daughter had to ask for antiseptic wipes and if she could have plasters. It took them ages to find anything. She was handed one small antiseptic wipe and told that she couldn't have the plasters that were big enough to cover her cuts when my daughter asked but given lots of little plasters. These plasters weren't great and both knees on her tracksuit bottoms had blood on them due to this.

AIBU that I am cross that they were obviously too mean to give her two large plasters to put on and she had to ask for all of this. She went to the nearest town with her friend today and went to the chemist herself to buy two large plasters for her knees. When she came home her knees were oozing and had lots of fluff stuck on them from the inside of her tracksuit bottoms. I am not going to say anything but I am quite cross about it. I know if this happened in my house that I would have made sure her daughter would have been cared for.

I know my daughter is a teenager and I don't expect her to be babied but certainly provide suitable plasters and something to disinfect them to avoid infection. She said she kept having to ask and had to use kitchen towel in the beginning as that was all that was handed to her. Her friends Mum is a dentist and I would have thought she would surely know the importance of disinfecting and covering deep cuts.

starfishmummy
There's actually nothing wrong with using kitchen roll and soapy water for the clean up. It's also good as a dressing folded and taped down.

I agree but would you have just handed kitchen towel to a young teen in your house and then just fuck off?

That sounds more like injuries sustained doing something they shouldn't and now trying to cover up that they weren't at home/under supervision.

I suspect that you are right and that the OP doesn't have the real version of events.

Antiseptic wipes really aren’t necessary and actually damage the skin further

How did she fall? By any chance were they messing around and doing something they shouldn't have been doing and the mum thought 'serves her right' type of thing?

FWIW I'd have been overly concerned if somebody else's child injured themselves in my home and would probably have offered to drive her home after disinfecting and giving plasters so I don't think YABU.

I'm a fan of good old fashioned soap and water for cuts and grazes (and I deal with plenty of them - it's my job) but plasters nowadays I find are pretty useless - not like the old Elastoplast that stuck forever - and had glue everyone was allergic to!

There's no way I would allow anyone out of my house - adult or child - without some care and attention for injury (no plasters in my first aid box, but I have many other would dressings/closures). I would absolutely have covered a graze that was under clothing to prevent damage to the clothing and disruption to wound with the movement of the clothes, fibers, etc etc. I find Hydrocolloid blister dressings great for grazes.

Yes the mother was very uncaring and a bit weird.

My kids aren’t teens yet but if one of their friends gets a scratch or cut at our house they get cleaned up and a plaster, even if it feels a bit OTT, because I want them to feel cared for. Plus your DD obviously had deep cuts that needed those big plasters.

Really off putting behaviour from the other mum.

I think this is all really odd! Can't see the issue here to be honest.

14 year old (not 5 year old) cuts her knees/legs. Parents give her some plasters. All is well. No broken bones, no stitches required.

What is the problem exactly?

(I have two well cared for boys age 8 and 10. I've never used antiseptic wipes on them. One came back from holiday club with knees and legs all cut open recently. No plasters on. He had had fun and wasn't bothered. He's quite robust. Accidents happen)

Can someone explain the issue? (I doubt very much a 'large plaster' worth all of 12p was 'witheld' as if in some kind of sadistic way!!!!!!!)

YANBU. I would let the friend stay at yours but I wouldn't be in a hurry letting your daughter stay there again.

She sounds like a cold fish to be honest.

14 year old, not 5 year old (don't know why Mumsnet keeps indenting things!!)

Grrrr.. it's done it again!!!

Fourteen year old, not five year old ...

Maybe the mum was the one who was blind drunk? That would explain her walking off when dd asked for help and then taking an hour to remember where she kept plasters.

@TiredzzZZ Because she had nasty cuts on her knees that weren't dealt with. It isn't really rocket science.

A fourteen year old gets a cut on her knee. (Still struggling to see the big deal here)

Surely she can cope with a couple of cuts on her knees? She got a plaster or two (not that they were really needed). I wonder if she's a bit of a drama queen...?

I never use antiseptic and have generally only used plasters for the placebo effect for young children. I can’t imagine getting too worried about a scrape on a 14 year old. However, if she wanted plasters and antiseptic I would definitely have given it no matter the cost or if it was my last. To refuse seems really odd.

Thank you for this, I am totally baffled by the “no plasters” advice!

I would be pissed off with the other mum, too, for not giving extremely basic first aid.

You should use plasters on cuts to stop them getting infected. No idea why people think they need ‘airing’. How ridiculous. The mum sounds useless and uncaring.

If you weren't there how do you know she had plasters big enough? Something doesn't make sense. Why would she ask your DD if she was okay only to walk away? I think there's more to this than you've been told (maybe not alcohol but something)
I never have wipes or plasters in the house despite having teenagers and a toddler. Never think to buy them.

The mum sounds really odd and awkward. I wouldn’t be encouraging a lot of sleepovers there if she can’t handle some basic first aid with a bit of compassion.

Why am I the only one that doesn't get the big deal here?

She's 14!!!!! Not 4.

In two years time she'll be legally old enough to have her own children!

She's not 5.

It's a cut on her knee.

Surely at 14 she can cope with a cut on her knee????

I dont keep wipes or plasters in but in that situation I would have instructed your DD to sit down and keep her legs elevated and my DD to keep an eye on here whilst I went out to get some.

Same as when my son badly cut his hand (his own fault but....) I legged it to get antiseptic and steri stips.

Her mum sounds...odd.

Am I the only one who doesn't see why a 14 year old with grazed knees needs "first aid" from a parent?

Surely her friend could just go and grab the plasters and whatever else she needed to clean herself up?

Completely agree.

Washing the wound with water is much more effective to remove any dirt or bits of grit ( flush it all away).
I don’t see why a teenager can’t hold a clean folded piece of kitchen roll onto her knees for a couple of minutes.
This could have been taped in place or perhaps the small plasters were enough.

It actually sounds like you perhaps mollycoddle your daughter because of her health issues. Sorry I know this is not what you want us to say.

If she had big plasters and wipes, then it is very odd and unkind.