To be pissed off with this Mum

[Theblacksheepandme]

My teenage daughter went to her friends house yesterday and stayed over. She came back today and said she had a fall. Both her knees were really cut up and one of her hands. Anyway accidents happen but I am cross at how her friends Mum handled it.

My daughter said both her knees were bleeding quite bad and she went to the bathroom to clean up her knees. The Mum asked if she was ok and walked off when my daughter asked if she had a first aid kit. My daughter had to ask for antiseptic wipes and if she could have plasters. It took them ages to find anything. She was handed one small antiseptic wipe and told that she couldn't have the plasters that were big enough to cover her cuts when my daughter asked but given lots of little plasters. These plasters weren't great and both knees on her tracksuit bottoms had blood on them due to this.

AIBU that I am cross that they were obviously too mean to give her two large plasters to put on and she had to ask for all of this. She went to the nearest town with her friend today and went to the chemist herself to buy two large plasters for her knees. When she came home her knees were oozing and had lots of fluff stuck on them from the inside of her tracksuit bottoms. I am not going to say anything but I am quite cross about it. I know if this happened in my house that I would have made sure her daughter would have been cared for.

I know my daughter is a teenager and I don't expect her to be babied but certainly provide suitable plasters and something to disinfect them to avoid infection. She said she kept having to ask and had to use kitchen towel in the beginning as that was all that was handed to her. Her friends Mum is a dentist and I would have thought she would surely know the importance of disinfecting and covering deep cuts.

Seems a bit mean to not offer the plaster or at least take to shop to buy her own.
Another nurse here without antiseptic wipes. I work in minor injuries and we very very rarely use antiseptic for cuts. Wash it well with water shower is usually best to get rid of any grit. If no plasters then apply thin layer of Vaseline and kitchen roll works until you can get some.

I'm going to go totally against the grain here op but when I read your title I was expecting your daughter to be about 5yrs old.
I'm also thinking alcohol was involved, might explain "mum" not being very helpful.

SmileyClare
I'm pretty sure Op wasn't asking how to treat bad guts and grazes Confused but it's best to clean and cover to prevent infection. Modern plasters and dressings are breathable and will help draw out any embedded debris. "Letting the air to it" is old fashioned advice.

Thanks

Yanbu. Even though a teenager it sounded like your daughter needed an adults help a bit of tlc. I would never treat a child or young person in my house this way. I would have helped her . She doesn’t sound very nice at all.

Runoutofusernames
I'm going to go totally against the grain here op but when I read your title I was expecting your daughter to be about 5yrs old.
I'm also thinking alcohol was involved, might explain "mum" not being very helpful.

Did you read my previous reply in relation to alcohol?

Totally impossible to say without seeing it. Tbh the number of times I had kids around who got a scuff/scrape and demanded a plaster when they didn’t need it was incredible, they are obviously handed out like lollies in their homes.

The best were parents who were there and acted like the kids leg was going to fall off for anything superficial. They would use words like nasty and deep and make claims of requiring antiseptic, plasters, even bandaging. They were horrified when I said just needs to be cleaned well with water and left to air dry. I worked in A&E at the time, very experienced and knew exactly what I was talking about, but nope antiseptic and plasters apparently, every time.

I buy packs of plasters yet never seem to have the right size in. Sometimes those that I think are big turn out to just be big packets and only suitable for small cuts.
There must be a reason why she didn't provide bigger plasters and I don't buy that she was just plain mean.

I also wonder why your daughter didn't call you.

I really wish people would read my replies. I said myself that I actually couldn't remember the last time I used a plaster in my house but I can assure you that she required plasters on this occasion.

Second this.

I was on a first aid course recently and it was stressed that you must not use antiseptic on cuts, you should run them under water to clean. The antiseptic wipes are for cleaning your hands after dealing with the first aid incident.

@Theblacksheepandme

This sounds awful and very mean of her friends mum

I'd be thinking twice about letting her stay there again to be honest but if that was my daughter I'd hope. She'd have the common sense to phone me up!!!!

Could be she thought they wouldn't do the job on the area?

Why on Earth couldn’t she have the big ones? That’s what they’re for!
poor girl.

This sounds mean.

I wouldn't have antiseptic wipes and you'd be lucky to find a plaster as I'm not organised like that but I'd have been sympathetic and given her as much damp kitchen towel as needed.

My daughter's leg would have to be falling off before she would phone me. She suffers from FOMO and would hate to be brought home when her other friends were staying over. Anyway I don't think it warranted me picking her up. It just would have been nice if her friends Mum gave a shit.

Flippin heck they've gone up since I last got them. I used to get some from home bargain's but lately they don't seem to have any in. Guess I'm going to have to pay a fortune for them now. I always have a supply in as my daughter gets a lot of injuries because of siezures. Washing it with some cooled boiled water with salt in a works just as well as anti septic.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/cuts-and-grazes/

YANBU at all. And I think DD's age is a bit of a red herring here. If someone cut themselves whilst staying in my house, I would certainly offer them plasters, irrespective of whether they were a child or adult and of how the injury happened.

I don't have antiseptic wipes or plasters in the house (have 2 kids). If my kid gets a cut we clean in with water and a clean cloth.

I have 4 children (20yrs down to 2yrs) and don’t keep antiseptic wipes or plasters in at home. Maybe they genuinely didn’t have any 🤷‍♀️ What makes you think they did and they were withheld?

Somethingneedstochange
Flippin heck they've gone up since I last got them. I used to get some from home bargain's but lately they don't seem to have any in. Guess I'm going to have to pay a fortune for them now. I always have a supply in as my daughter gets a lot of injuries because of siezures. Washing it with some cooled boiled water with salt in a works just as well as anti septic.

Yes, cooled boiled water with salt is good too. She had to buy ones big enough to cover the cut and they're sold individually. She did complain about the price of them.

I think the whole antiseptic wipe debate is deflecting from the lack of care this parent offered.

There's actually nothing wrong with using kitchen roll and soapy water for the clean up. It's also good as a dressing folded and taped down.

I've never used antiseptic wipes, just washed them with water. Never use plasters either. A wash and fresh air, was probably the best method. But I get you, its not nice knowing that another parent isn't caring and helpful when in charge of your child. It's hurts your feelings because she's still a child who needed help, when she was hurt. I hope she's feeling better now.

Yes I'm finding this thread has gone in odd directions. Half the posters arguing about whether to wipe cuts with antiseptic (does it matter? The mum could have suggested a substitute)
Half the posters thinking the dd is definitely lying.