Page 6 | To be pissed off with this Mum

Theblacksheepandme · 2022-08-28T19:36:24+00:00

My teenage daughter went to her friends house yesterday and stayed over. She came back today and said she had a fall. Both her knees were really cut up and one of her hands. Anyway accidents happen but I am cross at how her friends Mum handled it. My daughter said both her knees were bleeding quite bad and she went to the bathroom to clean up her knees. The Mum asked if she was ok and walked off when my daughter asked if she had a first aid kit. My daughter had to ask for antiseptic wipes and if she could have plasters. It took them ages to find anything. She was handed one small antiseptic wipe and told that she couldn't have the plasters that were big enough to cover her cuts when my daughter asked but given lots of little plasters. These plasters weren't great and both knees on her tracksuit bottoms had blood on them due to this. AIBU that I am cross that they were obviously too mean to give her two large plasters to put on and she had to ask for all of this. She went to the nearest town with her friend today and went to the chemist herself to buy two large plasters for her knees. When she came home her knees were oozing and had lots of fluff stuck on them from the inside of her tracksuit bottoms. I am not going to say anything but I am quite cross about it. I know if this happened in my house that I would have made sure her daughter would have been cared for. I know my daughter is a teenager and I don't expect her to be babied but certainly provide suitable plasters and something to disinfect them to avoid infection. She said she kept having to ask and had to use kitchen towel in the beginning as that was all that was handed to her. Her friends Mum is a dentist and I would have thought she would surely know the importance of disinfecting and covering deep cuts.

TiredzzZZ · 28/08/2022 23:36

Meatshake · 28/08/2022 23:34

This is the weirdest, coldest and uncaring thread I've seen on here. My mum would have been set to maximum cluck if one of my friends had done that. Actually she'd probably still try to patch us up now at 35+.

As for the nutters accusing the 14 year old of drinking or taking edibles, sort yourselves out and let kids be kids. Not all kids are off their faces!

As for the "we don't have plasters" brigade. I literally don't believe you. My kids are always looking like I've battered them. If I left it for some of their scrapes to stop bleeding I'd be doing a fucktonne of laundry. Don't your kids climb trees, ride bikes/scooters, race, chase and have fun? They're either not very active or you let them wander round the place bleeding.

How old are your kids meatshake? At 14, cuts and scrapes from scooters, climbing trees and run and chase are not so common

ToFindNewWays · 28/08/2022 23:37

The point is the other mum didn’t give her the appropriate kit though @mountainsunsets - she withheld the one bit which was appropriate for the situation (larger plasters).

I would find this weird of a host whatever the age of the injured person.

PortalooSunset · 28/08/2022 23:37

Theblacksheepandme · 28/08/2022 22:48

starfishmummy
There's actually nothing wrong with using kitchen roll and soapy water for the clean up. It's also good as a dressing folded and taped down.

I agree but would you have just handed kitchen towel to a young teen in your house and then just fuck off?

Probably yes tbh. I'd expect a 15 year old to be capable of tending to their own wounds. I'd hang around if they mentioned being dizzy/looked like they were about to pass out but otherwise I'd leave them to it.

Kerrrmieee · 28/08/2022 23:38

I'm quite handy with steri strips and superglue... Roll up you teens with yer grazes 🤣

dcthatsme · 28/08/2022 23:38

I've never used an antiseptic wipe in my life on myself or my DCs. A bit of cotton wool or tissue with warm water does the trick. Hopefully the mum in question would have got your DD help had she needed stitches. It sounds like you treat these types of cuts with more care and concern than some other people might. I don't think adding a plaster would make a difference to the healing process. Letting air get to a cut will help it scab over more quickly.

Original poster

Theblacksheepandme · 28/08/2022 23:38

And the host did ask if DD was ok, DID offer plasters and DID give an antiseptic wipe! :) They just failed to hold DD on their lap, give her teddy and call an ambulance

@TiredzzZZ
You really are quite unpleasant. If you had RTFT you would had seen that none of this was offered and my daughter had to ask for all these things. She was given a kitchen towel and then her Mother just fucked off. Is this how you would deal with a guest in your house?

OP posts:

Oinkypig · 28/08/2022 23:40

No plasters or antiseptic wipes in this house and I would have been mortified to have a friends mum “tend” to a grazed knee or even mention it to them.

She grazed them playing basketball? But then her tracksuit bottoms were sticking to her knees the next day….. would she not have worn the clothes from playing basketball that allowed her to get deep cuts to avoid that? I hope she is ok but I think there is more to this injury story than you know

uncomfortablydumb53 · 28/08/2022 23:40

DD's Friends Mum doesn't sound very caring( especially being a dentist)
Whatever the cause of the wounds, I would show care and concern to DD

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 28/08/2022 23:41

Covering this kind of wound IS recommended - both to keep it clean and prevent it from sticking to clothing - and I'm surprised by all the posters suggesting that it needs to be 'aired' in order to scab over more quickly.

On the contrary, if you put a plaster over a cut, you create a more moist environment, and this helps the skin cells grow more quickly (in the same way that germs will grow more quickly in a warm moist place - hence the importance of cleaning it first before covering it).

Don't believe me? Do an experiment next time your DC has a couple of matching cuts, and see for yourself which one heals first!

Yes, many First Aiders are trained not to use normal plasters in case of allergy, but if you know that your children are not allergic to plasters, why not use them? A piece of gauze bandage or kitchen towel taped on works just as well.

Ladybyrd · 28/08/2022 23:42

@Meatshake Exactly. You would, out of simple human concern. 4, 14, or 44. So if someone falls over in the street, so you only ask them if they're ok if they fall within a certain age bracket?

How bizarre.

Kerrrmieee · 28/08/2022 23:43

Now the mother just fucked off!?

Maybe vet where you're leaving your teen then if her grazes are so precious.

They'd probably raided mums booze cupboard.

They certainly weren't playing Care Bears.

Christmasiscominghohoho · 28/08/2022 23:43

I don’t have plasters or wipes.
My son and daughter hate them so Iv never used them really and Iv hardly ever had to use them either.

To be honest I doubt I’d pander to a teenager with some cuts in her knees. It doesn’t seem like a big deal really so I wouldn’t be making a fuss and I wouldn’t be able to offer wipes and plasters.

Id just give a cloth and say clean it up over the bath and elevate the leg to get it to stop bleeding.

Namechangedforspooky · 28/08/2022 23:43

I have no antiseptic or first aid kit in my house either and I work in A&E! I would have tried to cover the wounds though if I had any plasters big enough.
Theres some very recent evidence to show that tap water is just as good for cleaning wounds as sterile water. We would only clean with antiseptic very rarely in A&E. We used to until about 10-15 years ago but it doesn’t improve infection rates

Just a slightly different perspective and I wonder if the mum knew some of this given her background. Doesn’t excuse the lack of sympathy and withholding plasters though!

TiredzzZZ · 28/08/2022 23:52

Theblacksheepandme · 28/08/2022 23:38

And the host did ask if DD was ok, DID offer plasters and DID give an antiseptic wipe! :) They just failed to hold DD on their lap, give her teddy and call an ambulance

@TiredzzZZ
You really are quite unpleasant. If you had RTFT you would had seen that none of this was offered and my daughter had to ask for all these things. She was given a kitchen towel and then her Mother just fucked off. Is this how you would deal with a guest in your house?

Sorry if I'm coming across as unpleasant. I'm not really, I'm just tired and grumpy because it's late and I cant sleep!! So wasting my time scrolling through Mumsnet! :) Perhaps coming across a bit blunt. Sorry.

Obviously it's sad your daughter grazed her knee. I just honestly (and I am sorry if I sound harsh, but it's how I feel) think that it's all a bit of a non issue. 14 year old cuts her knee, ah shame, move on....

Obviously your DD felt she needed antiseptic and plasters. Fine. She asked for them and it's great she has been bought up confident enough to do so (well done in raising her confident). Your DD was provided with the plasters and antiseptic wipe she asked for, even though it sounds as if this was a bit of a mission for the poor mum who struggled to find some (as likely not often used), as many of us might.

Again, I'm failing to see the issue.

I don't buy that the mum had large plasters that she 'witheld'. There is more to the story. Sorry, but there is. No-one would 'withold' a 12p plaster!! Unless good reason or some kind of misunderstanding.

To me it's all a non issue. I just genuinely don't get it. If your daughter was 5 my reaction would likely be different.

We r all different OP. Sorry I am not the same as you and have a different view. But you have posted in AIBU, so you do maybe need to toughen up a little yourself and expect that some people may disagree with you and may not go in full throttle with the sympathy.

Thatboymum · 28/08/2022 23:57

i have to say my 13yo is more than capable of dealing with her own cuts and scrapes so if I was the mum I would have done as she did , she checked she was ok, she could see she was capable of cleaning it herself (she’s a teen not a toddler) she gave her plasters albeit not the one your dd wanted but she still gave her some and she obviously felt the situation was being handled fine enough to walk away. She maybe had a need greater for those size of plasters that you aren’t aware of and maybe couldn’t afford to replace them so soon after buying them so she offered an alternative which I see nothing wrong with. Your sounding very precious about all of it tbh . I also have 2 younger kids who get nasty scrapes all the time and don’t have a first aid kit and rarely a plaster because they aren’t necessary imo

Tinkerblonde1 · 28/08/2022 23:59

Wish my 14 year old still snuggled. I have to socially distance from mine.

Original poster

Theblacksheepandme · 29/08/2022 00:06

It really is very sad that quite a lot of people view my daughter as a dramatic, drunken, liar based on the information I provided.

OP posts:

Xmasbaby11 · 29/08/2022 00:08

I would expect more care than that - they obviously didn't think it was a big deal but given the mum is a dentist, I find it so odd.

I had a big graze / cut on my knee a few weeks ago from falling over. It was sore and a big open wound which I cleaned and covered in a big self adhesive pad thing. I keep all that kind of stuff at home and have a good first aid kit in both cars. After a couple of days, it had healed enough to leave it open, but it did need covering or it stuck to clothes and bedding.

Original poster

Theblacksheepandme · 29/08/2022 00:09

Tinkerblonde1
Wish my 14 year old still snuggled. I have to socially distance from mine.

She loves her snuggles.

OP posts:

CJsGoldfish · 29/08/2022 00:10

This is the weirdest, coldest and uncaring thread I've seen on here
You don't get around much, do you? 😂

As for the "we don't have plasters" brigade. I literally don't believe you
I'm sure they're devastated.
I had plenty of plasters when my children were little. When a plaster, preferably with a character on it, and a kiss for the boo boo went a long way to making it 'all better' Now, with teens, last time I looked for one there weren't any. Had to go buy some 🤷‍♀️

She was given a kitchen towel and then her Mother just fucked off. Is this how you would deal with a guest in your house?
Kitchen towel was all she really needed tbf. And yes, this is how my teens and friends would prefer to be treated. Supplied with something to clean it and left to it. Because they are teens. They'd be uncomfortable to have someone's mum fussing over them when they only have grazed knees.

Flubber88 · 29/08/2022 00:18

This is soo 'ahh diddums' for gods sake

UWhatNow · 29/08/2022 00:33

We don’t have antiseptic wipes or knee-size plasters either. You would’ve been lucky if I’d have even looked up from my phone to ask if she was ok in my house. Teenagers should be able to sort themselves out for a minor injury like this and they really don’t need fancy kit like your dd was expecting to be provided with. Bit entitled really…

AussieMozzieMagnet · 29/08/2022 00:38

CJsGoldfish · 29/08/2022 00:10

This is the weirdest, coldest and uncaring thread I've seen on here
You don't get around much, do you? 😂

As for the "we don't have plasters" brigade. I literally don't believe you
I'm sure they're devastated.
I had plenty of plasters when my children were little. When a plaster, preferably with a character on it, and a kiss for the boo boo went a long way to making it 'all better' Now, with teens, last time I looked for one there weren't any. Had to go buy some 🤷‍♀️

She was given a kitchen towel and then her Mother just fucked off. Is this how you would deal with a guest in your house?
Kitchen towel was all she really needed tbf. And yes, this is how my teens and friends would prefer to be treated. Supplied with something to clean it and left to it. Because they are teens. They'd be uncomfortable to have someone's mum fussing over them when they only have grazed knees.

You’re a nasty piece of work.

AussieMozzieMagnet · 29/08/2022 00:42

Op, you’re totally correct. This mother did the wrong thing. As a guest in my house, I would have ensured large plasters would have been provided along with antiseptic or saline and I would personally have attended to the wounds myself if need be. That’s the mark of a proper, caring mother and host. Anything less is neglect and I frankly wouldn’t care of my guest was 14, 24 or 54! There’s a duty of care and I’d help in any way needed.

Some of the answers on here are uncaring, unkind and frankly, weird. They need to take a good look at themselves in the mirror.

AussieMozzieMagnet · 29/08/2022 00:44

Thatboymum · 28/08/2022 23:57

i have to say my 13yo is more than capable of dealing with her own cuts and scrapes so if I was the mum I would have done as she did , she checked she was ok, she could see she was capable of cleaning it herself (she’s a teen not a toddler) she gave her plasters albeit not the one your dd wanted but she still gave her some and she obviously felt the situation was being handled fine enough to walk away. She maybe had a need greater for those size of plasters that you aren’t aware of and maybe couldn’t afford to replace them so soon after buying them so she offered an alternative which I see nothing wrong with. Your sounding very precious about all of it tbh . I also have 2 younger kids who get nasty scrapes all the time and don’t have a first aid kit and rarely a plaster because they aren’t necessary imo

Glad you were not my mother. She took proper care of me as I do my own child.