To think I've absolutely gone and ruined my chances?

[arrghhh]

I met this guy at my 30th night out a few months back, I added him on Facebook and we'd been speaking periodically - nothing heavy. He had asked me if I wanted to go and grab a drink with him sometime which I replied yes.

Anyways last night I'm child free so crack open the wine, he messages and turns out he is near me visiting his mum so naturally (after a few glasses of wine I invite him round).

He came round, I was very attracted to him, he's six years younger but I was quite shocked with how mature he came across and how intelligent and well spoken he was. He asked questions about me and showed an interest.

However I hadn't eaten all day yesterday. We ended up kissing - a lot and at one point I think I remember my tits in his face however this is speculative as I was far too drunk at this point.

Next thing I know I'm waking up on the sofa with a message from him, "Hey you kinda passed out so I just popped your blanket over you and bolted for the train didnt want you thinking I legged it tried to wake you for 5-10 but no luck 😂😂" and a missed call from him about 30 minutes after that message.

I am absolutely mortified. I wish I'd never even invited him over, I knew I shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. The worst thing is I liked him and thought he had some potential but now I don't even want to reply this morning.

So mortified. Should I just block and pretend it never happened? Should I acknowledge it?

My parents first date, my Mother was so nervous that she ended up getting hammered drunk. My Dad had to help her back to her friends house where she was staying. She really never expected to hear from him again and was completely embarrassed. She had told him in her drunken state where she worked though. The next week, she came out of work to find him waiting for her. They were married 51 years when he passed away. Don’t block him. I hope he gets back in touch OP, he sounds very decent!

My sister invited her colleague round for dinner one evening. He arrived with two bottles of red wine. She doesn’t drink so he ended up downing the good guts of both bottles and going to the loo. She went to look for him when he hadn’t returned after half an hour and found him bollock naked, passed out in his own puke, on the bathroom floor. They’ve been married for 18 years now 😁

I mean, we were never at the point of texting daily. We would text periodically so it's not weird to me not hearing from him. If he gets in touch he gets in touch, if he doesn't, he doesn't. Still feeling very embarrassed, suffering a two day hangover so been feeling quite down in the dumps today.

The same thing happened to me with a man I like around 11 years ago... we've been together ever since. Married for eight years, 3 year old DS!

If he texted last then I think the ball’s in your court, isn’t it?

FYI I farted in my DH face on the way up to bed on the first time he stayed over and 10 years later here we are… sometimes testing a man’s staying power out the box is the best thing you will ever do 😂

Oh don't be silly and block, he was lovely to do that. Just be very all 'I'm so embarrassed ' and get back to it! Everyone deserves a second chance, including you! Just eat next time and enjoy! X

There wasn't much to respond to! He said, 'Yeah I thought you might be rough this morning, absolutely tanked those wines'

As a man who is not a drinker, but is nevertheless comfortable with the concept of alcohol, this would not seem odd to me, let alone anything to be embarrassed about. Depending upon the details of how you carried on, that is :) . If anything I would perhaps a bit disappointed our time was cut off, and hoping we'd meet again.

Mate, im not being a party pooper but I work in safeguarding, are you absolutely certain he didnt put something in your drink?

I think texts are very hard to read between the lines. He could be interested in pursuing a potential relationship more but is afraid that you were just interested in him because you were drunk 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you were to meet face or face for a chat you would have more hope of working out if he was interested by his body language, tone of voice etc.
You aren’t the only one to have had a drunken start to a relationship whether a serious one or casual.
Good luck with whatever you decide 😊

I'm sort of bothered on this guy's behalf that you considered blocking him. I've read your posts several times and I can't work out what he did that could possibly warrant you blocking him.

This thread needs to go in classics purely because it's probably the only thread on planet Earth where everyone is telling the poster NOT to block! 🤣

Just send some laughing emojis & say that if he wants to meet you for a coffee then you promise to stay awake this time!

Just for my own sheer embarrassment, no other reason. Out of mind, out of sight and I could pretend it never even happened 😂

Sounds like you are overthinking this. He sounds like a decent guy. Why not text him something like - shit I was going to say “fancy meeting up for a bite to eat”, but remembered you don’t like to eat in front of people (you really need to get some help with that). What on earth do you do on dates where it’s not all about booze?

Easy ‘next time I’ll take it slower, when are you free’

She won’t eat in front of people!

Fuck me 😂😂😂😂
been there and hope you’re ok xX Jesus Christ woman do you like him or not ?! You said you envisage yourself single and that’s fine ? So “ruined your chances” at what ?! A shag ? A boyfriend?

I’d reply to the “tanked” text ; “thanks, I’m here every week” tongue in cheek of course xX

Get a blanket and a kebab ❤️

It sounds like he likes you! It’s fine, just tell him how mortified you are in a joking way and say you’d love to hang out again starting sober! As long as you are not drinking on an empty stomach every day it’s fine as a one off, you’re only 30! And I’ve got plenty of friends with younger boyfriends who then turned into awesome partners and fathers. I say go for it - he probably thinks you are really fun! 😁Also, he did not in any way take advantage by the sounds of things so maybe he’s a keeper, plenty of guys would have tried to. Sure, you probably shouldn’t have put yourself in that vulnerable position, but honestly, don’t beat yourself up about it. Hope you enjoy your second date 😍

The thing is, if that happened now, legally he could have been charged with rape on the basis of this story.

I understand you didn't see it that way, but that is the legal position - you were far too drunk to consent.

I'm a heavy drinker myself and have done some stupid, risky things, but there is far too much minimising and making light of some really very dangerous and stupid decisions on this thread.

This isn't a funny story, it's really fucked up.

Hahaha loved your post! I do like him but too worried that he has been repulsed by me and I would just be embarrassing myself messaging him. I feel like if he wanted to see me again he would ask and I'm too nervous I ask him and he either doesn't reply, says no or says yes to be polite

Sounds like a good night. If he's half decent (and wasn't taking advantage...) then it won't be a problem.

If it helps, my first date with my DP, I missed
my train home so went to hers (both female for context), we polished off a bottle
of rum. I vaguely remember kissing on the sofa.

I then woke up at lunchtime the next day in a room I had never seen in my life and screamed. Ended up staying there until about 9pm as I was too hungover to move.

Still together 3 years down the line.

My first date with my now husband I got waaaay too drunk and threw up all over his flats pyramids of loo rolls. His flat mates were not that impressed but he laughed it off and we went shopping and he replaced the lot after I’d cleaned it up. I was dying the next day from the booze as well as sheer embarrassment 😂😂
You’ll be fine, send a quick text letting him know you’re alive but paying for your stupidity and add in a ‘I hope I’ve not scared you off/put you off OLD’ with some light-hearted laughing emojis.