To think I've absolutely gone and ruined my chances?

[arrghhh]

I met this guy at my 30th night out a few months back, I added him on Facebook and we'd been speaking periodically - nothing heavy. He had asked me if I wanted to go and grab a drink with him sometime which I replied yes.

Anyways last night I'm child free so crack open the wine, he messages and turns out he is near me visiting his mum so naturally (after a few glasses of wine I invite him round).

He came round, I was very attracted to him, he's six years younger but I was quite shocked with how mature he came across and how intelligent and well spoken he was. He asked questions about me and showed an interest.

However I hadn't eaten all day yesterday. We ended up kissing - a lot and at one point I think I remember my tits in his face however this is speculative as I was far too drunk at this point.

Next thing I know I'm waking up on the sofa with a message from him, "Hey you kinda passed out so I just popped your blanket over you and bolted for the train didnt want you thinking I legged it tried to wake you for 5-10 but no luck 😂😂" and a missed call from him about 30 minutes after that message.

I am absolutely mortified. I wish I'd never even invited him over, I knew I shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. The worst thing is I liked him and thought he had some potential but now I don't even want to reply this morning.

So mortified. Should I just block and pretend it never happened? Should I acknowledge it?

Oh I thought we were bashing the op?

I would have said might be salvageable. But then I saw your text. It’s done.

He sounds great! If he never wanted to see you again he would have just legged it! Message him, and hopefully you can laugh about it together

This is brilliant; most of us have been there and worse. You've got that hangover shame /anxiety. Mine would last about 3 days after I drank too much and did something I might not remember back in the day.

I so want you to find the humour in this and own it with confidence and humour when you message him. You've made it clear it's not your usual behaviour and you had too much to drink, so now laugh about it and convey that in your message to him. I wouldn't personally ask him out, I would keep the messages going if he's responding, a little flirty and confidence confidence confidence. No more apologising. Then see if he initiates something.

He may just want something casual, I.didnt read what you're looking for but if you want more - then another few dates MAY just mean no toots in his face 🤣 so he understands that you aren't just about the casual. If casual is what you want then go for it.

You have nothing to feel ashamed of, we all live and learn and yes many of us could have met serial killers and got away with a close shave there. You don't need a lecture and you don't need any telling off from people on here.

Enjoy and hope you have some fun! 🥰

Own it! You’ll laugh about it one day x

My partner of 4 years is 6 years younger than me. That’s just an assumption about when people are ready!

Own it and apologise! Just tell
him what you’ve told us. Take it from there. Good luck!

^You have nothing to feel ashamed of, we all live and learn and yes many of us could have met serial killers and got away with a close shave there. You don't need a lecture and you don't need any telling off from people on here.
Enjoy and hope you have some fun!^

@Mumkins42 I've experienced a violent rapist who I let in my home when I was vulnerable and had poor judgement (I have bipolar disorder) so it does happen and it does need to be taken seriously, not just shrugged off.

Yes OP shouldn't feel ashamed as such but there are things she can do to improve her life (as there are for all of us one way or another) and have more fun really.

1. Food
2. Cut down on the alcohol/binge drinking which has already potentially effected her relationships, at least in this instance, and her wellbeing.
3. Don't invite randoms she doesn't know all that well round. You can't always know entirely what someone's like, especially when you don't know them well, though of course most sexual assault or other violence is from people the victim knows.)

If the bloke wasnt keen, he wouldn't have texted you!

Send him a message and say can you redeem yourself by meeting up another time?

My mum was older than my dad . To all those people knocking the age difference . The only way to find out if it has legs is to chance some fun and see if it progresses . Have some fun at least . If he has an older brother DO NOT GO THERE 🤣🤣🤣

Don’t worry, if he likes you he’ll be back for more. He’s obviously decent and caring , covering you up was kind. Hopefully when he makes contact and arranges another meet-up, you’ll try and stay sober 🙄🤣

Yes, this. Just don't forget this when HE does something equally embarrassing.

Yup. She killed it stone dead. Think he's dodged a bullet, tbh.

Just bite the bullet and apologise, tell him the truth, you’d not eaten and ended up drinking too much, once again apologise and tell him you’d like to meet for coffee next time he’s free

Blokes that fancy you couldn’t care less if you leave a “cold” message or no message at all.
Look at what happened when she stopped texting the other guy.
Be cool. Don’t complain or explain Op. Text when strictly necessary. You’ve got more to invest and therefore to lose. Let him take all the risks.

What was wrong with my text?

This!

girl power. Girls bugging up other girls. This is what I like to see

Oh because it was cold. I mean I sent a reply after his reply that was a little warmer but guess that's just me. Anyways haven't heard from him since his last message to me so not holding my breath.

Is the ball not in your court?

You sound really level headed OP. I know you got drunk and you’ve got the shame but lots of people do that sometimes. Hope it all works out for you 😊

Honestly, I’m guessing the OP has got the message now, so perhaps doesn’t need anymore warnings about how things could’ve turned out…

Age difference is fine. When I met my now DH, he was 23 and I was 28. We’re just about to celebrate our 28th anniversary! Our first DS was born when DH was 29. Not everyone fits the stereotype!

Good luck - hope it turns out ok!

Omg op I did something similar many years ago now (I’m older and boring these days)! Had been flirting heavily with this guy I fancied and was getting good signals back so when we ended up at the same party it was obvious something was going to happen. I got quite pissed and invited him back to mine where we carried on drinking.. I remember kissing on the sofa but after that it’s very hazy although there was also a trail of clothes from the sofa to my bedroom 🤦🏼‍♀️ I got up with a massive hangover and made coffee then he got a taxi home. All ok until I got a text from him hours later saying he had had a good night but asking if I’d found the sex boring.. Turns out I’d fallen asleep in the middle of it!! Mortified.

Because he sent you a nice message then you sent him a cold one and he text last! Stop expecting him to chase you when you've basically given him the brush off twice.

If you like him ask if he wants to meet up again.

Very similar to the night I met my now husband lol! Had to usher him out the next morning so I could be sick in peace! Been together 16 years now!