To think I've absolutely gone and ruined my chances?

[arrghhh]

I met this guy at my 30th night out a few months back, I added him on Facebook and we'd been speaking periodically - nothing heavy. He had asked me if I wanted to go and grab a drink with him sometime which I replied yes.

Anyways last night I'm child free so crack open the wine, he messages and turns out he is near me visiting his mum so naturally (after a few glasses of wine I invite him round).

He came round, I was very attracted to him, he's six years younger but I was quite shocked with how mature he came across and how intelligent and well spoken he was. He asked questions about me and showed an interest.

However I hadn't eaten all day yesterday. We ended up kissing - a lot and at one point I think I remember my tits in his face however this is speculative as I was far too drunk at this point.

Next thing I know I'm waking up on the sofa with a message from him, "Hey you kinda passed out so I just popped your blanket over you and bolted for the train didnt want you thinking I legged it tried to wake you for 5-10 but no luck 😂😂" and a missed call from him about 30 minutes after that message.

I am absolutely mortified. I wish I'd never even invited him over, I knew I shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. The worst thing is I liked him and thought he had some potential but now I don't even want to reply this morning.

So mortified. Should I just block and pretend it never happened? Should I acknowledge it?

I have to agree with this. That said, I have made frightfully stupid decisions in the past, including getting drunk on a first date (but was in public). I definitely wouldn't be getting blind drunk at home with someone I didn't know at my house though.

We all do silly things sometimes and I think you recognise OP that it was a bit circumstantial (eg you'd been drinking beforehand) but definitely just reassess your boundaries and safety.

That said if you met at a party and you have mutual friends I can see why it's not a huge deal, it's not as if he was some random off the internet? Still, it's a move I probably wouldn't make!

I'd just gloss over it and laugh about drinking on an empty stomach. Sounds like he tried to make sure you were safe before leaving and rang you later.

Don’t think you have anything to be embarrassed about and he sounds nice and interested! Think you just have hangxiety ;)

His mum raised a decent one.
There is an abundance of assholes out there. He's not one of them. Nice to read this. It's enough to soften my ol' heart of brick and bring a sting to my cynical eye. I sure hope this is the start of something wonderful, OP.

Most men aren't violent rapists (although rape is violent in itself of course) but quite a few are opportunists and faced with a plastered woman alone, will take full advantage.

I think a man in that situation, around the house of a woman he barely knows who passes out drunk, could be vulnerable to accusations of sexual assault. Part of how he’s responding could well be informed by that.

Yes perhaps, and I’d understand that.I think he was genuinely checking up on her too.

Give him a call this afternoon. Rather than messaging. He may not see it and you’ll worry he isn’t responding. Most people answer phones, he’ll recognise your number anyway.

The evening could have definitely taken a more sinister turn given you passed out so it's good he was respectful. I would keep messaging him and see where it goes.

I don't think most men would just cover the woman in a blanket etc.

Or maybe men are more educated about consent nowadays.

I'm nearly 50 and still get plenty of male attention, my age and size has never held me back. Sexist BS designed to keep women in their place and grateful for any man who looks at them. We have choices whatever our age, including staying happily single by choice.

To add, I would style it out and leave the ball on his court.

Eight years ago I went for a second drink with someone. I had been single for a long time. I remember texting a friend and saying I’m really pissed I need to calm down. We went back to mine, I pulled my dress off as we walked through the door quite unnecessarily if I had been sober I wouldn’t have done it. We had drunk brilliant sex and have been married five years.

OP I think you sound like a very content women who knows what she wants from life , he sounds like a descent guy so just laugh about it together on another date 🙂

Really risky behaviour. You got so intoxicated that you passed out with a largely unknown man in your house
fortunately nothing much happened and he left
acknowledge the event and see him again, don’t get so bladdered next time

Been there 🙂🙌

If he was put off he wouldn't have messaged at all I think, bare in mind we are in the age of good old ghosting, he wouldn't have messaged full stop.
Just say can we try it again sometime, maybe with food the next time!

@LuckySantangelo35 why would it be a turnoff?

Are you seriously saying that if you found someone attractive but saw them drunk to the point of passing out you wouldn't be turned off?

I enjoy a drink as much as many, was out Friday night & definitely drunk but not to the point of passing or vomiting or embarrassing myself.

In my 30s, I would expect people my age to know their limits. I'm not saying it's a turn off for everyone but it definitely would be for me and I suspect for man others.

He sounds interested as he wanted you to know he didn’t just ditch you. Also contacting you after is a good sign.

This

You're lucky. You could have woken up to find you had unprotected sex, an STI, herpes, and your wallet and valuables missing.

But she didn't ! So all well

Jeeeeez

I know right ? You can see where this conversation is heading can't you

Why don’t you message him back saying yes you were tanked and that’s what you get for drinking on an empty stomach so why don’t we get a meal out before next time. (Or better words to that effect thag I’m sure some on here would be able to craft)

see what he says, not having anything to eat gives you an opening for a second date with food

I know you have said you are happily single... however your op title suggests you DO care that you may have ruined your chances with this guy... text him again!