To think I've absolutely gone and ruined my chances?

[arrghhh]

I met this guy at my 30th night out a few months back, I added him on Facebook and we'd been speaking periodically - nothing heavy. He had asked me if I wanted to go and grab a drink with him sometime which I replied yes.

Anyways last night I'm child free so crack open the wine, he messages and turns out he is near me visiting his mum so naturally (after a few glasses of wine I invite him round).

He came round, I was very attracted to him, he's six years younger but I was quite shocked with how mature he came across and how intelligent and well spoken he was. He asked questions about me and showed an interest.

However I hadn't eaten all day yesterday. We ended up kissing - a lot and at one point I think I remember my tits in his face however this is speculative as I was far too drunk at this point.

Next thing I know I'm waking up on the sofa with a message from him, "Hey you kinda passed out so I just popped your blanket over you and bolted for the train didnt want you thinking I legged it tried to wake you for 5-10 but no luck 😂😂" and a missed call from him about 30 minutes after that message.

I am absolutely mortified. I wish I'd never even invited him over, I knew I shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. The worst thing is I liked him and thought he had some potential but now I don't even want to reply this morning.

So mortified. Should I just block and pretend it never happened? Should I acknowledge it?

He doesn't sound to put off if he's messaged you, just laugh it off x

I met a man in a pub. Complete stranger.. Shared a taxi - we lived streets away it turned out! Shared a snog in his house!! I left as he was puking his guts up!! I left my number..
He messaged.
Been together 10 years.
Married with a dc!
Have faith in yourself op!

😂

But before you know it you will be fat 40 and invisible to anyone besides the odd old dirty old man

Fucking hell. I’m 48 and still bloody gorgeous and definitely not invisible. Get to fuck with your appealing ageism 🙄

Appalling. Definitely NOT appealing

Fucking hell. I’m 48 and still bloody gorgeous

@WoodlandMummy You're very lucky then. I'm 45, not fat but my looks rough.

*my face looks

The only thing is the pool of decent men gets smaller as you approach 40. The good ones are taken for a reason. Better off sticking around for the odd decent divorcee. That’s if you want to couple up mind.

"Popped"?? Be careful of a 24 year old bloke who uses the word popped.
Apart from that do whatever you feel like doing.

Hahaha why!?

I was clear kinda talking about myself here. And how I always thought I'd have time to meet someone I really had a connection with or even liked tbh . But time goes by really fast, especially of you have wasted what should have been the best years of your life with someone.

I had a real baby face fir so long. Now I look old beyond my time. Most who even look my way are pissed.

I simply recognised some traits op and I shared . She's happy so that's all that matters..

Absolutely do NOT block him. Own it and mix it up with a bit of a joke about it along with how you're genuinely a bit embarrassed.

If he was that bothered he wouldn't have messaged you.

TEXT him back!

OP if he is messaging you i don't think he's been put off but your messages today may seem a little cold. You could reply something like 'oh no mortified! If my drunken antics haven't scared you off then let me know if you fancy getting a berr

I agree with @Hellodarknessmyoldpal. Message him now and if he says no thanks then you'll have today feeling rough and tomorrow is a brand new day where you can pretend it never happened if need be😁

Keep your text bright & breezy - "Thanks for the blanket! Did you get your train ok? x"

🙄 the majority of men are not rapists and murderers

Why?

OP
In case it makes you feel better, I recently told someone that if I was ten years younger...dot dot dot...he knew what I meant.

The worst thing is, I don't actually think I like him. Just formed a weird connection because of being lonely.

And like you, I don't do commitment, but with age that has become "I don't go near men ever".

Yet somehow I said that. And it's out there now, can't take it back.

In 2022, drinking too much covers all you did, assuming you didn't pop out to rob a bank in the middle - so you're in the clear! But if you want to see him again, suggest coffee!

He sounds lovely.

Funny.
Sweet.
Caring.
Not a rapist.

No, they're not but a minority are and that's why you don't invite one you don't really know back into your home and get so drunk you pass out.

Why take the chance?

Inviting a man you don't know around - risky
Getting blind drink - compounding that risk
Passing out - leaving yourself extremely vulnerable

I think you were lucky that he was such a decent guy. I think that would actually turn a lot of decent guys off tbh.

That said, if you like him and want to see him again just shake off the embarrassment and let him know.

@arrghhh many of us have done this. You live and learn, and I got more sensible with age. Tis a lesson learned, with no real harm done.

@Whatwouldscullydo have faith. I was over 50, and a bit chubby, but still rocking it, when I met now DH. There are some decent blokes out them, if we want them. You just have to interview hard IMHE.

Love this reply Op. It's bright & breezy and leaves the door open. You'll know where you stand with him then depending on his reply (or if he doesn't reply).

@Whatwouldscullydo

urgh your post!

where to start

40 isn’t old

why would she be fat at 40?

women can live perfectly happy lives without a man you know

she has a daughter, a career, friends etc - she’ll have plenty to say about her life even if she never gets into another relationship with a man ever again.

@ThirtyThreeTrees

why would it turn them off?!

she got a bit drunk and passed out

it happens. Everyone’s done it. No biggie

she didn’t shit on the floor then eat it. That would be a turn off