To think some Mumsnet advice is crap?

[Crapadvice]

Lighthearted.

Lots of very good suggestions, kindness, support, not knocking anyone, just having a laugh here.

But there are a few tired old nuggets that keep finding their way onto threads.

Theres the super aggressive, over the top advice, like someone who is mildly annoyed with their husband has to SIT HIM DOWN. why does this always involve sitting him down, like a dog.

Ear plus or headphones as the answer to any excess noise. Does it not occur to people that we need to hear other stuff for a reason?

No, as in no is a complete sentence. No it isnt. I think my friend is a MNetter, I asked if she was free for coffee a couple of months ago. She said ‘no.’ I haven’t asked since!

what’s the worst advice you’ve seen on here?

a lot of criticism is labelled as jealousy without any nuance. I often think that's how people end up in talent shows not realising they haven't any talent 😆

Crap advice I saw on here:
Keep the roll of binbags at the bottom of the bin, so when you’re emptying the bin, the new one is right there.

You’ll end up trying to detach the roll from a full, dirty, usually smelly, possibly leaky binbag. And how much time would it save anyway?

Only some 🫣🤷‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣

Half the fun of MN is watching poster competitively clamber to a) give the shittiest if not the most patronising advice ever and/or b) jump through the absolute peripherals of the universe to prove why a poster must be wrong purely because it's in AIBU.

I still laugh at one I had the other week where posters came on and were absolutely vile - and many came on to ask them why they were being such cunts (🤣).

Yet when I had a response from the very people involved (after many accusations of being a drama llama and not to send a photo which incidentally the company actually requested themselves) I got the very thing I'd been aiming for in the first place. Which was to recognise that staff training needed to be improved to prevent the risk of serious consequences in the future.

Including an apology because despite MNers deciding that their version of events must absolutely be true and I must absolutely be U the company were able to verify what happened via their own CCTV!

MN is a great place if 90% of the time you can take what's said with a lunch of salt but I've also seen it be absolutely amazing in relationships where people really do need actual help and support.

Seriously!

I ended up spending 4 months in daily (then weekly) appointments at the burns unit 40 years ago because my mum put butter on a moderate burn and left it for two days (serious infection ensued). If anyone is trying to help (or save NHS resources) this is very, very bad advice!.

That is scary!

Someone advised her to soak them with a water pistol full of piss

I'm supposed to be cleaning up today but I've been laughing at this for 20 mins and I feel weak

Is that because you've been trying to produce the volume of piss needed to fill the soaker (get friends/family to help fill it)

I have seen a few like that it's cringeworthy ,and posters think they are being hilarious, in actual fact if the Op had sent a reply like that it would just make them look bitter and desperate,.

Also the ones where someone is behaving badly or cruelly or selfishly and the comment comes; 'perhaps they have autism'. Um- no, Perhaps they are just a dick and this does not help with all the very negative and inaacurate stereotypes there are about autism

I was going to say this one !

And whenever a poster comes on asking for quick ways to make money some idiot always suggests matched betting or only fans. Yes let’s encourage people who are desperate for money to gamble or get involved with internet porn, that won’t end badly at all.

No is a complete sentence…
Thats not bad advice when considering it’s actual origin…
Its from The Gift of Fear. A book every woman should read.
Its intended use is for when men are trying to do something entirely inappropriate- eg corner a you no girl because he suspects she’s got loose boundaries or won’t know what to do and his intentions are sexual or violent.
Its not intended to be taken up as advice for normal conversation 😀

Ridiculous.

You blast My Heart Will Go On whilst pissing out the window on them.

I think no is a complete sentence does not apply generally to normal social situations. It's often advised with pushy people who want a favour and will try and argue against any reasons you put up as to why you can't do it. Like the people who want to stay in your house for a month and never lift a finger and leave the place in a tip.

I also think it's a myth that people are always telling posters to LTB for trivia. It's generally only when there's a back story and the final straw may be trivial but there's a lot of other indications that it's a controlling or abusive relationship.

I think all the advice about not letting anyone see the baby for months or just get married on your own, can be poor if there is no back story. People often do feel strongly about family events and it can be very hurtful to just be left out.

Exactly this, posters on here seem to think that you can demand a free half hour of full legal advice that will be enough to solve whatever problem the poster has rather than an initial assessment of the case. How do they think solicitors make money

No, as in no is a complete sentence. No it isnt. I think my friend is a MNetter, I asked if she was free for coffee a couple of months ago. She said ‘no.’ I haven’t asked since!

I was coming on to say this - in certain cases, it's correct, but if a friend didn't give me an explanation as to why they couldn't come to dinner/coffee/a walk (etc.) when I invited them, then I would obviously be pretty hurt and assume the friendship was over!

My personal bug bear is people saying ‘Don’t do further maths, it’s not counted as a full A level!’ Tell that to students doing maths, engineering, computer science or physics degrees!

They have heard that for medicine it’s not recommended as the third A level, because chemistry (95% of the time required) maths and FM is considered a bit narrow. Whereas for the above subjects it’s highly recommended.

Yes, my DSes both did FM A levels so I’m biased. It’s a bloody hard subject!

Whenever I see MN advice I always think to myself that's it's what the poster would like to do but in reality they wouldn't actually do anything

I hate the threads that stop people going to A&E with what are quite clearly serious symptoms. I don't give advice if I don't know know. I don't pile on with "That's not what A&E is for", when sometimes it clearly is!

That is where crap advice is dangerous

The threads where people "see" something that is there because of previous experience of early warning signs? I get why they do that. I have done that! It's clear to you (irrationally clear but you don't know that at the time!). That can still be dangerous though. If someone breaks up a relationship because of mumsnet advice, maybe it wasn't going to work anyway? (I don't do it anymore btw - it was a momentary blip!)

If you want use mumsnet for advice, you need to look at each poster critically and ignore the offensive ones, or the ones that clearly have no experience of the situation (not easy!) Too many threads are derailed when the OP start defending some minor part of their post that isn't relevant.

You need to be on mumsnet for a while to become immune to the craziness, and it often isn't worth it for some (introverts etc). Which can be a shame.

I think ultimately YABU.

IME Mumsnet threads can often get very daft very quickly, but whenever I have really needed advice the support has typically been invaluable.

The best was recently after an unprecedented extended family crisis. I was copying and sending a lot of the replies to the rest of my family as they were so insightful.

There were a lot of very bright ladies on that thread!

I've had a free half hour with a solicitor, very useful it was too.

99% of nutrition and weight loss advice is fucking awful.

Oh and the advice (usually from extremely smug, married, settled people who have no experience in the matter whatsoever) to single mums that they should remain single until youngest child turns 18 🙄🙄 I became a single parent when DD was 2 weeks old so that would have been a.long 18 years. Also the insistence that new partners shouldn't be introduced to your child until you have been together for 2 years, absolutely ridiculous and I'm sure they would change their tune if they found themselves single.

I have seen a few threads recently where a random man has said something like " cheer up love it might never happen " and people claiming that they gave the man a good talking too and he slunk away throughly ashamed of him self and everyone clapped, and I think no you didn't, maybe you muttered something under your breath,I mean I understand its annoying but in reality most people would just ignore it or give a filthy look.

You blast My Heart Will Go On whilst pissing out the window on them.

See...invaluable advice 🤣

I worked as a cleaner when I was at school, this is what we did when changing office bin bags (little white bags). That must be where the idea started? There's no way I would do that with my kitchen bin!

She's not being unfair as she's asking if some of the advice is rubbish and it really is. Some is good and useful but a lot is pure tosh.

Following on from the medical points, I often feel vexed for women posting pregnancy tests and hoping that others can see a line. Usually there's a chorus of " yes! I can see it! Congratulations!" etc, when the line is so faint as to be debatable. There was a sad one recently where this happened, I couldn't see a line, but others thought there was a very faint trace. Then the woman's period came on time, as usual. She was then told she'd had a chemical pregnancy and to try for a "rainbow baby" when in fact there'd been little evidence of a pregnancy at all.