To think some Mumsnet advice is crap?

[Crapadvice]

Lighthearted.

Lots of very good suggestions, kindness, support, not knocking anyone, just having a laugh here.

But there are a few tired old nuggets that keep finding their way onto threads.

Theres the super aggressive, over the top advice, like someone who is mildly annoyed with their husband has to SIT HIM DOWN. why does this always involve sitting him down, like a dog.

Ear plus or headphones as the answer to any excess noise. Does it not occur to people that we need to hear other stuff for a reason?

No, as in no is a complete sentence. No it isnt. I think my friend is a MNetter, I asked if she was free for coffee a couple of months ago. She said ‘no.’ I haven’t asked since!

what’s the worst advice you’ve seen on here?

Oh dear me, that's true- even when some poor teacher has made a minor error!

“Go on a spa day” … that famous solver of all problems related to a husband.

“Write it down and post it to them” … as if Royal Mail has some kind of magic properties when it comes to neighbour disputes

There is a lot of collective wisdom on here, and I know that some people have really been helped by the support and advice, that's acknowledged.
I do agree with some of pp points, though, especially now on all these threads about energy costs. There was an absolute classic recently - no one ever needs to use a tumble dryer because "you can hang it all up in your utility room" 😂 ..... because everyone has a utility room.....

The No thing is fine. No is brilliant. Your friend doesn't want to meet. End of.

I've never seen LTB for trivial reasons. You see it for aggression and refusal to parent, which is fair, as these are impossible positions to compromise on. It's not 1920 and we don't have to stay with shit partners anymore.

Love the random man posts, random man was standing and looked at me! Random man tried to make a joke, shocked. Men should avert their eyes in the presence of a woman and only speak when spoken too.

There's a lot of shite on here, a lot of good support but a lot of shite as well. You just have to recognise that and take it all with a pinch of salt. Try to keep clear if trans, feminism and relationships as they're often as bad as aibu but people accept aibu is a bear pit.

The "can't you just move to a different area" makes me chuckle everytime. Yeah, because it's that easy

I'm guessing you don't have many friends

I'm always baffled as well by those who refuse to acknowledge many of the LTBs thrown on here are ridiculous

Probably because they're the ones saying it

There have been hundreds of ltbs for trivial reasons. And made up reasons. And massive assumptions.

So true ,I was reading a thread about how to emulate a private school experience for children when you can't afford private school fees ,one poster suggested going to a Grammar school ,my town and all the surrounding towns haven't had Grammer schools since the 1970,s and even if it did the child would actually have to pass the 11+ they can't just enrol at one

But they are entertaining

Of course it’s mostly crap, but there are some really great bits, funny bits, kind bits, and mad bits. It’s a really unique site.

But OP I don’t think your coffee friend is your friend anymore

No is a fine answer.

It depends on your relationship on whether you want to expand on it. If you don't care then No on its own is fine. If you like the person then perhaps a bit of a more polite response. No on it's own is fine but does convey that they really aren't bothered about your feelings.

But you can get a free first chat with a solicitor if you ring round 🤷🏼‍♀️

That thread irritated me beyond measure, @x2boys because of the ignorance about state schools, including the grammar system. One poster actually claimed that teachers in private schools were better!
Apart from that nonsense, she got some good advice on enrichment, but it was otherwise mostly useless or ridiculous.

As someone who works in benefits, DA, low income support, debt relief and so on, I genuinely chuckle at the advice given.

It's like people on here sometimes have no idea what "low income" actually means 😂 take in some ironing be a childminder.

I've no money for food, gas and electric = batch cook.....with what gas or electricity is this lady supposed to batch cook with 😂

Don't get me started on some of the Domestic Abuse advice. "Just leave, change the locks chuck him out" 🤦🏻‍♀️ the risk to a woman fleeing a DA relationship increases by 900% when this decision is made. It needs to be managed and done appropriately with multi agency support.

There was one a few weeks ago where a woman had seen an email on her husband's phone that appeared to be from a "Dating Support". Lots of advice about ducks in a row and he's definitely cheating.

Turned out to be one of those "HEy TheRe SexY WanT sOme fUN?" spam emails that everybody gets in their Junk Folder. Poor bloke!

Controversial one here but there’s often a leap to “he’s abusive” when that’s clearly not the case.

domestic abuse is awful and unacceptable, and I know a lot of posters have gone through it. Sometimes that means they spot early signs, but sometimes it means they’re on a hair trigger and see it when it’s not there.

or sometimes people want to smash another persons relationship and the “he’s abusive” is a good way to do that.

Another thread where the advice was shockingly awful was when the op had been sitting in a cafe waiting for her date (who had messaged to say he was on his way).

He never showed up and op didn't know what to message him.

Many posters suggested sending him texts such as "thanks for standing me up, the waiter was absolutely gorgeous and he asked for my number and we are going on a date this week couldn't have done it without you" and "A team of gorgeous rugby players came into the cafe and I ended up going home with one of them and we had mindblowing sex so I appreciate you standing me up".

I got second hand embarrassment reading some of them. Thankfully the op chose not to message at all.

baby name advice is bad and often xenophobic.

"Your child won't be able to get a job",
"no one will be able to read it",
"if you change the first letter & add 2 more it sounds like X & the child will be bullied"
"it reminds me of (insert someone from 50 years ago)"

@Luredbyapomegranate no, not now. Because she can’t travel, and I won’t be suggesting coffee again, so that’s sad really.

Leave him and go now.

Everyone who annoys you is a toxic narcissist you should go NC with, according to MN. Genuine narcissism is actually quite rare.

Yeah i seen eome ridiculous suggestiions ,take ironing ,sell cup cakes etc ,if your a single parent living in a poor area ,chances are your neighbours are in a similar position, they can't afford to pay for ironing or buy fancy cupcakes, not to mention the cost of your little cottage industry, you would need to advertise, pay for ingredients, a decent iron etc

Yeah so they know if they can take the case on. You don't just walk off with full advice free

Thankfully I have never been in the position where I need it but I imagine the solicitor advice came about from many solicitors offering no charge for an initial sit down and chat. And over time it has evolved to ‘a free half hour.’

The only time you can get free advice is in free law clinics