To think some Mumsnet advice is crap?

[Crapadvice]

Lighthearted.

Lots of very good suggestions, kindness, support, not knocking anyone, just having a laugh here.

But there are a few tired old nuggets that keep finding their way onto threads.

Theres the super aggressive, over the top advice, like someone who is mildly annoyed with their husband has to SIT HIM DOWN. why does this always involve sitting him down, like a dog.

Ear plus or headphones as the answer to any excess noise. Does it not occur to people that we need to hear other stuff for a reason?

No, as in no is a complete sentence. No it isnt. I think my friend is a MNetter, I asked if she was free for coffee a couple of months ago. She said ‘no.’ I haven’t asked since!

what’s the worst advice you’ve seen on here?

Conversly I have seen my town referred to as a shithole many times. It has its share of problems like many places, but also many many positives and I have been very happy here for 20 years now, there are many good people I know who feel the same. Unless someone has experienced living in an area they should keep their prejudice to themselves.

Omg that made ma laugh!!!!
The unwarranted advice/passive aggressiveness is the funniest thing by far on here!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂

True.

I feel sorry for people when I see those 'I don't have any friends' thread titles but for some of them maybe there's a very good reason!

On a thread I’m on now

you have no right to ask for child maintenance from a man who wants you to get an abortion.

Ha! My advice is free and you don't get something for nothing very often so appreciate it !

True, should just be a message saying 'Go to the ERIC website, follow their instructions to the letter, ignore all other advice'

My favourites are when people write responses for people to send that are incredibly dramatic!

MN 1: I need to give my window cleaner notice but not sure how many weeks.

MN2: Well I would write - Heretoforth enclosed please be advised that I, Mrs Collywobble, will presently be rescinding my requirement for your good and honestly conducted services in the arena of vitral ablutions. Consider this as notice of the afore stated intentions of up to (and possibly including) one Gregorian calendar month from the date of the receipt of this notice. With many and varied regards and wishes for your future success and that of your family, your good lady wife, and Onassis the labradoodle. Sincerely, Mrs Collywobble

And then other come on and say it’s ‘brilliant I would send exactly that OP’ and I’m just sitting here thinking it sounds like Gene Wilder shouting about the contract at the end of Willie Wonker.

I can't stand "congratulations!!" after a photo of a very clearly negative pregnancy test.

Also advice that just ignores the fact that people are part of families and wider communities, and basically just tells them to do whatever the fuck they like, never mind anyone else.

Suggesting dementia for every person over 50 who’s being an arsehole. And someone will always waft in and suggest a compromise even when the OP has outlined such outrageous behaviour they’re probably a poke-the-nest troll in the first place.

But despite the batshittery I have to say I generally find this a place of real wisdom, ideas, information and support, freely given by well meaning people. It’s clarified and reframed my thinking on many issues, and though I know there are loads of ridiculous fictitious posts now, MN has definitely helped many women understand and escape from abuse and DV. And for that I’m willing to overlook the odd LTB when some poor fucker’s left the toilet seat up.

*LOG IT WITH THE POLICE. NOW.

I'd love to see this mythical 'Log'.*

I've spent over 40 years living in scattered rural places where the police absolutely rely on the residents to be their eyes and ears and phone in anything out of the ordinary . I've seen it work and produce results over and over again.

Totally! If you mapped a vendiagram of the mumsnetters who give this advice and those who say ' I have no friends' it would be a circle.

I strongly suspect some of the bad advice on here is on purpose. Actually malicious. Kind of like "my life is shite so yours should be too"

It's not advice but I think it's pretty malicious when a thread gets derailed because posters ignore the main point & focus on the fact the op had dinner at 8pm or used the word dinner instead of supper & then it descends into a character assassination!

No is a complete sentence if you don’t want any friends!

And the first comment is usually ridiculously harsh for some reason.

A lot of the posters seem to think that everyone can manage a full time job and 2 or 3 children just because they can. As if never stopping is normal and sustainable. No one is allowed a part time job or to be a SAHM anymore.

"Call 101 and log any minor thing, it could be the missing puzzle piece"

As if the police are sitting there with a fuck tonne of evidence on someone but they are just waiting for Mrs Smith from number 3 to call and report that her neighbour asked how she is in a weird way before they swoop in and arrest him.

Another one was quite a few years ago where a poster had said there was a mum shopping with her newborn, the baby was crying, so the op had offered to carry the baby round the shop for her. The woman, obviously declined, and the womans mum appeared from another aisle and carried the baby while the mum shopped.

The op proceeded to follow this woman and her mum round the shop, decided she looked depressed and chatted with several members of staff about her concerns because the baby was still fussing.

In the end the op and quite a few posters decided the best course of action was to go back to the supermarket, speak to the manager, obtain the CCTV images from the carpark, get the numberplate of the car, find out who the woman is, and then report her to social services because she might have PND 🤔 op, thankfully, never got anywhere with it, but I was astounded at the dramatics of it all.

I think you've hit the nail on the head there.

For me it's when they deliberately take someones OP out of context and respond with pure outrage at something the poster never even said 😂 It's obviously just to try and start a pile on.

I didn't see that thread ,but there are many threads ,that posters wind each other up to the point of hysteria .

The free half hour with a solicitor drives me crazy as well. My firm gets calls all the time with people demanding (often quite aggressively) their 'free half hour'. You know what? We charge £90 plus VAT for a 50 minute initial consultation with a follow-up letter detailing our advice across all of our departments and that is a bloody bargain. Quite frankly. But no we are all apparently blood sucking parasites actually expecting to get paid for our years of study and experience.

Also the ones where someone is behaving badly or cruelly or selfishly and the comment comes; 'perhaps they have autism'. Um- no, Perhaps they are just a dick and this does not help with all the very negative and inaacurate stereotypes there are about autism.

😂😂

As I said, filter and adapt.

That must drive you mad. It's the way posters write it as "claim your free half hour with a solicitor" as though it's some kind of legal requirement

When people suggest op do things they'd likely never do in real life

"Oh I'd just tell her to fuck off and crawl back under the hole she came from"

I think it should be challenged with "Great. Can you let us know when and how you claimed it?" And then let them disappeare because they eill not be able to answer

I strongly suspect some of the bad advice on here is on purpose. Actually malicious. Kind of like "my life is shite so yours should be too"

Yes, like when posters are slapped down for having a'first world problem' because the respondent doesn't have enough money to worry about school fees or whatever.

Jealousy is ugly.