Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some Mumsnet advice is crap?

343 replies

Crapadvice · 27/08/2022 10:39

Lighthearted.

Lots of very good suggestions, kindness, support, not knocking anyone, just having a laugh here.

But there are a few tired old nuggets that keep finding their way onto threads.

Theres the super aggressive, over the top advice, like someone who is mildly annoyed with their husband has to SIT HIM DOWN. why does this always involve sitting him down, like a dog.

Ear plus or headphones as the answer to any excess noise. Does it not occur to people that we need to hear other stuff for a reason?

No, as in no is a complete sentence. No it isnt. I think my friend is a MNetter, I asked if she was free for coffee a couple of months ago. She said ‘no.’ I haven’t asked since!

what’s the worst advice you’ve seen on here?

OP posts:
Coasterfan · 27/08/2022 10:54

No one is just a twat, it’s always due to dementia or mental health issues.
Take in a lodger. I would rather be homeless than share my space with a stranger.
and on the thread at the min where OP has been sanctioned for not having fuel to get to an appointment with her work coach apparently 23 miles is easy to cycle!!!

HangOnToYourself · 27/08/2022 10:55

Workawayxx · 27/08/2022 10:54

recently, seen lots of threads with people calling OP a massive doormat for being a bit kind to a good friend and/or wondering how to tell them something they don’t want to hear.

I agree the advice needs to be carefully sifted but at least where there’s lots of posts on a thread there will be someone who points out any advice that isn’t great.

Yes mumsnet isnt kind to introverts or people who find confrontation difficult.

hanxsy · 27/08/2022 10:56

I also hate where the readers are enjoying the drama and deliberately trying to cause more drama by encouraging the OP to do things they’d never do themselves.

yes & huge extrapolation. So the DH has been working late & more grumpy than usual. He's obviously got another family & living a secret life. 🤔

hanxsy · 27/08/2022 10:58

Some of the advise on where to live is bonkers I’ve seen some right shithole areas recommended

I think it's cause they live there & want to prop up house prices!

DameCelia · 27/08/2022 10:59

Free half hour from a solicitor.
IT'S NOT A THING
For context, ask yourself whether the supermarket lets you have a basket of shopping for free?
Does the accountant do your tax return for free?
Is the teacher teaching your kids for free ?

hanxsy · 27/08/2022 10:59

Or the A&E ones.

”Yes, you should definitely go to A&E for your child’s sore bottom”

I think it's the opposite, you shouldn't go to A&E unless your dead.

SuperCamp · 27/08/2022 11:00

All the wild and wonderful suggestions that avoid actually talking to someone to explain the issue.

Just put up a fence! (£600 minimum)
Get bollards! (Everyone wants to get out and unlock bollards returning from work in a dark Feb night)
Slash their tyres! (ASBO pending
Get a neighbour to dress up as a traffic warden and put a fake ticket on their car (yes neighbour has nothing better to do, obv)
etc etc

Also: ‘take bubbles’ to entertain kids on a campsite. NO! Do not! Everyone will hate you. Detergent is the enemy of waterproofing.

Dilbertian · 27/08/2022 11:01

'No is a complete sentence' has been very helpful for me. Transformed my life, I'd say.

As with any advice, OL or RL, you have to sift the useful from the harmful and adapt it to the situation.

Being able to say "No", without guilt, without having to justify yourself, is very empowering. Yes, sometimes you'll soften it by adding social words "Sorry, no", "No, not today". But sometimes you need to be able to be blunt with CFs who you have no reason to appease.

Standing up for yourself does not make you a bad person.

Original poster
Crapadvice · 27/08/2022 11:02

Standing up for yourself does not make you a bad person.

sure if you’re trying to bundle someone in a van but if you’re inviting them for coffee it’s a bit weird

OP posts:
hanxsy · 27/08/2022 11:03

sure if you’re trying to bundle someone in a van but if you’re inviting them for coffee it’s a bit weird

this is excellent advice 😆😆

arethereanyleftatall · 27/08/2022 11:03

Offandonagain · 27/08/2022 10:40

LTB because he didn’t wash the dishes once.

The opposite of this comment for me...

Stay, because being miserable is normal in a marriage, because I am.

FloydPepper · 27/08/2022 11:05

A lot of posters will extrapolate, project, or just totally make things up, then give advice on that. It often seems that because they’ve been hurt by someone (a man) then they must all be like that.

sometimes you can feel for them and see why they’re doing it. Other times they just seem to want to wreck other relationships (for fun, for some weird revenge)

FloydPepper · 27/08/2022 11:05

Oh and sometimes it’s just really poor comprehension. Advising on what they think was posted, not what actually was

Lopar · 27/08/2022 11:07

Iamnotthe1 · 27/08/2022 10:45

Go to OFSTED!!!
On any and all questions something happening in school.

Or 'contact the school', for anything about a child which is happening outside school, at home and is nothing to do with school. It's like parents need to take no responsibility.

Salamamca · 27/08/2022 11:07

The bad advice is entertaining though.

OP: I’m thinking of getting a dog, it must be a really big dog though like a great Dane or St Bernard. Any suggestions?

Reply: Have you considered a chihuahua? They’re very loyal and great with kids

😂😂

OP: Looking for somewhere to take the kids on holiday in the UK, must be in the south of England as I can’t travel far
Reply: Have you considered the Scottish highlands? Very peaceful this time of year.

😂😂

AnnaMagnani · 27/08/2022 11:08

Have you ever seen any of the threads asking for advice on how to treat a burn?

They will be 90% put butter on it, put essential oils on it, put oil on it.

And 10% actual health professionals pleading the OP to do nothing of the sort, just cold water and seek medical attention if greater than the palm of a hand.

They will be drowned out by the butter users who are outraged to hear their advice is dangerous.

SizzlerFizzler · 27/08/2022 11:08

Mariokartedoff · 27/08/2022 10:41

I agree with you on some of it except the No thing. Your friend doesn't owe you an explanation about how she spends her time. What did you expect her to say?

Because in most conversations between friends it would be more like:

‘would you like to go for a coffee?’

‘sorry, I’ve got the gym/I’m working/bringing James to football/things are a bit hectic right now’

Rather than

‘would you like to go for a coffee?’

‘no’.

I sometimes wonder if some people on MN even like their friends, rather than regard them as a foe to be kept at arm's length.

x2boys · 27/08/2022 11:09

Mamoun · 27/08/2022 10:54

LTB!!!

so many pieces of advice are inflammatory and not helpful, especially when it comes to relationships!

Very true ,I think a lot of posters project from their own experiences, I also see a lot of posters advising the Op,s to stop contact with their child and their father for somewhat dubious reasons ,without any thought to what the child wants or needs

StopStartStop · 27/08/2022 11:10

It's perfectly ok to but your teenage son and daughter in a bedroom together every night for a fortnight. Because sexual abuse never happens in families and young people aren't entitled to privacy.

hanxsy · 27/08/2022 11:10

I sometimes wonder if some people on MN even like their friends, rather than regard them as a foe to be kept at arm's length.

Surely done just don't have any

AngelicaElizaAndPeggy · 27/08/2022 11:11

I love the police ones where people advise to ring 101 for the most spurious of things..

Seen a dodgy van?

Weird people coming and going?
Curtain twitching at number 57?

LOG IT WITH THE POLICE. NOW.

I'd love to see this mythical 'Log'. Elevated on a back-lit plinth, angels humming, with the police diligently writing it all down, in their neatest handwriting. 😁

x2boys · 27/08/2022 11:12

AnnaMagnani · 27/08/2022 11:08

Have you ever seen any of the threads asking for advice on how to treat a burn?

They will be 90% put butter on it, put essential oils on it, put oil on it.

And 10% actual health professionals pleading the OP to do nothing of the sort, just cold water and seek medical attention if greater than the palm of a hand.

They will be drowned out by the butter users who are outraged to hear their advice is dangerous.

See also constipation, I have a child with chronic constipation, the amount of awful and downright dangerous advice I have read on here is infuriating.

Bubblebubblebah · 27/08/2022 11:12

I strongly suspect some of the bad advice on here is on purpose. Actually malicious. Kind of like "my life is shite so yours should be too"

fuckblippi · 27/08/2022 11:12

Crapadvice · 27/08/2022 11:02

Standing up for yourself does not make you a bad person.

sure if you’re trying to bundle someone in a van but if you’re inviting them for coffee it’s a bit weird

😂😂😂😂😂

2bazookas · 27/08/2022 11:12

"I know nothing at all about Wills/dogs/ divorce law/ fuel fixes/ buying/selling a house/ but you should definitely do xyz "