Is it possible as a state school parent to emulate a private school education & how would a motivated one start?

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This thread is triggered from all the recent press about the Cambridges & Lambrook press.. Basically the press are harping on about the time spent outdoors etc, surely parents can do this for free etc.. Out of interest how can a motivated parent who can't afford private school emulate a private school education? Please be kind!

Bright kids with time poor parents who are working their arses off in comprehensive lose out. If you are in before and after school care because you work so hard that's the option for your kid, if you have no money OR TIME to spend doing stuff because you are shiftworking, if you are unable to pay for tutors or extra curriculum- then your child has to get through on school learning alone. It doesn't matter if you are a brilliant light and could be amazing. Some fucker from a private school will come along and grab the articled place through old school tie even if you have beaten the system and got your degree.

All true, but private schools do look for G&T. Unlikely to select a deprived child unless presented with very good credentials.

Off topic, but you do know that apprenticeships used to be paid for. To get one, it was normal for the family to fund the apprenticesip.....

@Ishacoco the reason in my opinion why private education is damaging to society is because they remove a large chunk of bright children with parents who value education out of the state system, meaning that particularly at high school level, state schools that might normally be 30% low ability, 30% middle 40% high ability end up much more skewed towards the lower end. Plus there aren’t as many parents to put pressure on the government to fund things properly. It would be much better to abolish all forms of selective education and just ensure all schools were good quality.

@pinata The real-world benefit of private schooling is having the confidence to walk out into the world, feeling that you have every right to a good opportunity within it, and being able to spot and take up those opportunities when they come up.

I'd say those undoubted  benefits are the result of a parental attitude/example, and any parent can  foster that  capable  independence in their children (at state school).  Self-confidence starts from social training which starts at home.

Is that really what private school is like now? When I was at one in the 90s it seemed there was a range of academically gifted and people definitely not academically gifted all united by the common ability to pay.

I wrote a longer post earlier. I feel strongly about this.

It’s not just the things you do… the reading, music, sport, cultural trips, conversations, manners…

It’s the knowledge, support and insight to leverage this when you want to take a big step in life.

i had excellent state school academics, and a good degree from an RG uni. However I couldn’t get past final interviews with ‘the big four’ because quite frankly my duke of Edinburgh awards, grade 7 music exams and 6 years of working in a supermarket sounded a bit shit in comparison to others who’d done a ski season, raised money to build a school in Peru and then gone out there to build it, captained the university hockey team, and done two really valuable unpaid internships in the city. By comparison I literally didn’t know those sorts of activities existed at the necessary points in time.

I'm not sure why this is touted as the path to everything. My dc attends a private school and it is so much more than just reading. They focus alot on developing critical thinking skills, the amount of high quality resources is just invaluable, then there's alot of support and guidance for a parent to know how to support their child. We have a detailed feedback session with dc teacher every 6 weeks.

It would be much better to abolish all forms of selective education and just ensure all schools were good quality.

I disagree with this. My grammar school education helped me get the grades I needed to go to one of the more prestigious unis, into a Big Four job and then into investment banking. Where 95% of my colleagues had been to private school. Selective education meant I could compete.

Further to your point about private schools creaming off the 'bright' kids, I don't think this is the case. Our private school is academically selective but there's a number of local private schools that aren't. All ranges of academic ability are catered for.

I'm sure you don't agree with grammar schools and the selective comps but, in my experience, their cherry picking has a far greater impact on the academic ability of non-selective state schools. I also believe kids learn better surrounded by other kids at their academic level, at both ends of the spectrum. (Apparently I'm an anomaly at our school for asking for my son to move down from the top set to set four as the pace was too quick for him).

I should add that I don't disagree with all schools being good quality, just the first part!

A report on research into cultural capital and its relationship to academic attainment:https://www.theguardian.com/education/2022/mar/12/museum-visits-do-not-improve-gcse-results-study-reveals

Op smaller class sizes are better and over all ( I know a couple of posters here hated their private school) I imagine it's just a nicer experience?
A more homely building, even if some what ramshackle?
Smaller classes and a nicer environment.

However, in terms of actually learning I don't think even a private school could compete against tutors for specific subjects.

I would say any sign your dc

Get proper teacher tutors.

This will pay dividends.

Also for the confidence do lamda or some sort of stage school.

However, in terms of actually learning I don't think even a private school could compete against tutors for specific subjects.

Definitely. It may be small classes but it's not one to one. Also, like any school, some teachers are better than others.

At dds state they set from day 1 so you are with your peers academically. The culture is to do well and work hard there is none of that “academic means you are a square swot” that went on at my own state school. If anything they could be criticised for being too pushy. Results best in county for state schools all girls though.

Where the privates are better (anecdotally from seeing family and friends) is how the school treats the parents you are a client in state you are not! Their sport is undeniably better but you can quite easily supplement that yourself. Hand on heart there is no difference between the private teens and the state teens if family background similar hence they are mates / date each other.

Also things have changed employers and unis are no longer impressed by things rich parents can buy you (gap yah/skiiing) There’s a concerted effort to move away from that.

I can’t be snooty about buying advantage despite going state as I tutor the hell out of my kids. Dd was weak in physics her tutor (teacher from top public school on mat leave) got her from a 3 to an 8. So that was worth it!

@VerveClique

Have you seen the Oxbridge thread's?
Plenty of people have got into Oxbridge without any of that?
It's apparently about loving your subject so much you can talk extensively about it, eg much wider reading around it than expected and searching stuff out.its far more about this than a ski season.

I did some research because dd didn't want to do duke of Edinburgh.

Re makingall school good....

There is nothing stopping any school being good right now??

Nothing at all.

Mrs t swift, but you could argue you are not buying her an advantage.

She had it in her to get the 8 so how come the state school wasn't able to get it out of her?.you had to buy to plug a gap.

That's not buying advantage that's plugging gap's.

One of my DC has Sen and she has to have a maths tutor because the primary cannot teach her
She didnt need massive amounts of special help, but what she need to learn the so called outstanding school couldn't provide.

The big issue affecting both state and private at the moment is losing great teachers. That’s why her grade dropped good teacher left. It’s a problem in private schools too.

Having taught many privately educated people, it's really put me off sending DC there. They seemed to be either very entitled or complete messes mentally. I really felt for the latter. Those going into the city weren't remotely excited about it. They were just doing what they were expected to.
To make DC well rounded, I personally feel it's better to send DC to a state school and provide many opportunities for them, but not a restricted list like the above. Mixing with other social classes is fine. No need to steer DC into polo and golf. As for the national trust, it just made me laugh. Why on earth do you want to inflict this on kids?

Loving the concept that boring small children rigid at National trust places will translate into confident successful adults 😁

The issue would be the hours your child is at state school and fitting in the extras on top. My DD is in independent (only because I teach there) and she does so many extra curricular activities during the school day - LAMDA, music tuition, sports fixtures, swimming etc so I don't have to take her to any clubs etc after school. Which I couldn't anyway as a teacher as they all start earlier than I can get away. It could be exhausting to do all that yourself but many people do.

Another thing is the specialist teaching - DD has had specialist teachers for music, art, PE, languages etc since age 4, not the form tutor.

I agree with PP that the flight of teachers from the industry is affecting independent as well and should be a big concern for all parents in whatever sector

We seeing the sharp end of this. 3 of dds best teachers in her prospective a level subjects have left 😔. Friends and neighbours who work at / have kids at private say the same happening there.

Also independent are all very different in ethos and how 'normal' the children are. In my area of the country, there is a fair bit of movement between the sectors at different ages. Prep is narrower socially but Seniors is far more diverse, partly as the scholarship and bursary programme kicks in. Certainly not the case that students are only exposed to one type of person at all. They have friends from different backgrounds in their own school and mix with students from other local schools too. All families believing in hard work and a good education is a common factor. As a teacher I have found that varies by community dynamics rather than wealth though.

We've lost some real favourites amongst the children this year. All leaving the profession for more highly paid, less stressful, often wfh jobs elsewhere.

But you will never be able to emulate the social connections. The friend of a teacher connection, the dad of a fellow pupil... Those essential connections that open all the doors for private school pupils. It's not the "going on nice walks in the outdoors" it's WHO you are going on those walks with.

Unfortunately without the financial capital and networks it is impossible to emulate that at home.

You can TRY and emulate the education and there are lots of suggestions (tutors, music, cultural visits etc.) but without the doors being opened by the private school your children will NEVER have the same experience or opportunities.

Xing Ming, why is it a private school fucker rather than shit state school/system?
How does the private school make the state school bad??
Also whilst thousands work because they really do need too and have DC in Extra hours we see from endless should I work threads that many families could afford to work less but they choose not too and deliberately have the DC In hours of before and after school club's.