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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Really don't want to go on this hen do

734 replies

AngelicaSchuyler1 · 26/08/2022 11:37

Hen do woes...

My best friend is getting married in November.

She has booked a hen weekend for Oct in a city 2 hours from where we live, we are staying in a big house and there's a spa and swimming pool, hot tub, nice restaurant on site etc.

We've all had to pay £189 each to stay in this house for two nights, plus costs of driving there etc.

My friend was originally in the group on FB messenger but has since left so we can organise surprises etc for her. One of the other hens has decided to take charge and Im actually dreading going because she's turning it into a total tacky chav fest.

She has already bought us penis whistles, feather boas, t -shirts with "funny" names on them (e.g. Juicy Jenny, Hannah the Whore, Slaggy Sam) and is insisting we wear them when we eat at the restaurant on the first night. This is a NICE restaurant and not cheap. She has also bought a penis costume and is insisting the bride can wear it to the restaurant and it will be "such a laugh". She bought all of this tat without asking us first and now wants us all to send her the money for it.

A couple of us have piped up and said we want to wear nice outfits to the restaurant but this hen is insisting that we do all of the above to make the bride laugh, and that we can wear the t-shirts over our outfits. And she's not going to be returning any of the items and we need to each pay a share for what she's bought.

Added to that, this hen is also insisting we all chip in for a male stripper, which will cost £40 each and his performance will be maximum 20 minutes! I have flat out refused to pay for this and the group chat got a bit tense as the hen was insisting we do it.

I know my best friend and yeah she might find the above funny when we're all in the house together but I also think she will be embarrassed arriving to the restaurant dressed as a cock and got the impression from her she wanted a more classy weekend enjoying the facilities on site and having a nice meal together.

I've never met this other hen before but I already dislike her and she is really putting me off going to the hen weekend. She is really bossy and all of her ideas are tacky and hideous.

Do I tell my best friend what the other hen is planning and potentially ruin the surprise for her but give her fair warning? Or do I keep my mouth shut and just try to enjoy the weekend as best I can?

OP posts:
sue20 · 29/08/2022 17:44

AngelicaSchuyler1 · 26/08/2022 12:22

This other hen is a cow.

I sent her a message privately saying "Hi Hen! Thank you for participating so eagerly in the plans for the hen do, however as myself and Other Bridesmaid are supposed to be organising the planning of the weekend, can we politely request you hand the reigns over to us. Unfortunately I don't think Bride is going to really enjoy the things you have organised and from my conversations with her, she wants a bit of a classier weekend. Hope you understand x".

Her reply:

"Not being funny but Ive put in a lot of effort to make this fun for Bride. Dont appreciate your text, we are all part of this weekend and Ive spent money to make this good for her, still havent received your share for the items. Get off your high horse and stop thinking youre special, its not about you as Ive said before."

😩

Whoah! Think she’s got some issues. You do need to stick to your position she doesn’t sound very balanced.

gelert5619 · 29/08/2022 17:55

Could it have been Cowhen who informed the paper???.....

momtoboys · 29/08/2022 18:14

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/08/2022 21:15

Nah. The penis costume and the separate WhatsApp group were both a step too far.

I disagree. I think these Hen Dos frequently go off the rails. Maybe the bride told OP to stop making such fuss.

Cheeseandcrackers86 · 29/08/2022 19:15

gelert5619 · 29/08/2022 17:55

Could it have been Cowhen who informed the paper???.....

Oh my sweet Summer child... there never was a 'cowhen'. The whole thing was a setup written by a journalist so that they could then write a fake story to plaster all over the tabloids. It's quite sad really but then again if I was offered the chance to earn money writing fake stories on social media all day and then writing articles that demonstrate the skills of an average junior school child then tbh I'd absolutely take it so can't be bitter I suppose...

Bretonbear · 01/09/2022 06:28

Cheeseandcrackers86 · 29/08/2022 19:15

Oh my sweet Summer child... there never was a 'cowhen'. The whole thing was a setup written by a journalist so that they could then write a fake story to plaster all over the tabloids. It's quite sad really but then again if I was offered the chance to earn money writing fake stories on social media all day and then writing articles that demonstrate the skills of an average junior school child then tbh I'd absolutely take it so can't be bitter I suppose...

Oh my sweet Summer child?

My3dahliasarebloominlovely · 01/09/2022 08:29

Cowhen · 29/08/2022 14:57

Name change wasted! 😁

Cowhen 😂😂😂

MsTSwift · 01/09/2022 08:30

It’s a funny expression to point out when someone is being wide eyed naïve and gullible!

MsTSwift · 01/09/2022 08:31

It’s a funny expression to point out when someone is being wide eyed naïve and gullible!

ParentallyUnprepared · 10/09/2022 08:20

We never did get an update.

Gutted. 🤣

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