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Original poster

Really don't want to go on this hen do

734 replies

AngelicaSchuyler1 · 26/08/2022 11:37

Hen do woes...

My best friend is getting married in November.

She has booked a hen weekend for Oct in a city 2 hours from where we live, we are staying in a big house and there's a spa and swimming pool, hot tub, nice restaurant on site etc.

We've all had to pay £189 each to stay in this house for two nights, plus costs of driving there etc.

My friend was originally in the group on FB messenger but has since left so we can organise surprises etc for her. One of the other hens has decided to take charge and Im actually dreading going because she's turning it into a total tacky chav fest.

She has already bought us penis whistles, feather boas, t -shirts with "funny" names on them (e.g. Juicy Jenny, Hannah the Whore, Slaggy Sam) and is insisting we wear them when we eat at the restaurant on the first night. This is a NICE restaurant and not cheap. She has also bought a penis costume and is insisting the bride can wear it to the restaurant and it will be "such a laugh". She bought all of this tat without asking us first and now wants us all to send her the money for it.

A couple of us have piped up and said we want to wear nice outfits to the restaurant but this hen is insisting that we do all of the above to make the bride laugh, and that we can wear the t-shirts over our outfits. And she's not going to be returning any of the items and we need to each pay a share for what she's bought.

Added to that, this hen is also insisting we all chip in for a male stripper, which will cost £40 each and his performance will be maximum 20 minutes! I have flat out refused to pay for this and the group chat got a bit tense as the hen was insisting we do it.

I know my best friend and yeah she might find the above funny when we're all in the house together but I also think she will be embarrassed arriving to the restaurant dressed as a cock and got the impression from her she wanted a more classy weekend enjoying the facilities on site and having a nice meal together.

I've never met this other hen before but I already dislike her and she is really putting me off going to the hen weekend. She is really bossy and all of her ideas are tacky and hideous.

Do I tell my best friend what the other hen is planning and potentially ruin the surprise for her but give her fair warning? Or do I keep my mouth shut and just try to enjoy the weekend as best I can?

OP posts:
Josette77 · 27/08/2022 21:37

I am legit sad there is no update.

i need to know if the bride will dress like a dick.

Dibbydoos · 27/08/2022 21:44

Sorry are you all adults? If so be adults - go, don't contribute to the hideous stupid stuff, you never agreed to it etc. What's the other hen going to do? Try to sue you all? Well she will fail so she can send it all back!

The bride will have her say, I suspect you'll all be dressing nicely for meals etc.

The other hen sounds like a nightmare, just keep away from her.

TrueNorthernBird · 27/08/2022 21:44

I have already reported (yesterday) to MNHQ so am not troll hunting but my eyebrows went through my scalp at Cowhen creating another WhatsApp group. I mean, as IF she wouldn't be caught out!

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 27/08/2022 21:53

Josette77 · 27/08/2022 21:37

I am legit sad there is no update.

i need to know if the bride will dress like a dick.

Same

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 27/08/2022 21:54

@Annieisalright
Quite

SpongebobHotpants · 27/08/2022 22:01

What did the bride say when she read your texts?

6079SmithW · 27/08/2022 22:07

@AngelicaSchuyler1 Just for the record I think you have handled the situation fantastically well.

Derbee · 27/08/2022 22:14

I think people get too invested waiting for updates in threads that sound pretty far fetched at times…

Derbee · 27/08/2022 22:15

I think people get too invested waiting for updates in threads that sound pretty far fetched at times…

rachtimm · 27/08/2022 22:17

Waiting on update x

LovelyIssues · 27/08/2022 22:17

Have a shot & live a little OP

Theredtoyphone · 27/08/2022 22:24

Surely this can’t be true?! Poor bride if so..

Bmh54 · 27/08/2022 22:24

Maybe a WhatsApp group chat for you all, and then , you can all discuss hen party.
The plans proposed sound horrendous..!!
I would no way contribute to that tosh! Or go to it.....sounds horrendous...

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 27/08/2022 22:26

Derbee · 27/08/2022 22:15

I think people get too invested waiting for updates in threads that sound pretty far fetched at times…

Yet you're here? 🤔

Pieceofpeace · 27/08/2022 22:33

Any news? I’m invested!

XelaM · 27/08/2022 22:38

Loosen up OP 🤷‍♀️Maybe try on the penis costume 🍆

sangletea · 27/08/2022 22:45

Omg, what a joke

Poor bride

Wexone · 27/08/2022 22:49

what you have described it's exactly what I didn't want for my hen. and I warned everyone. if there was even a hint if a willy straw it was going in the bin. no tat at all. plus it's such a waste of money and bad fir environment. we all went out for dinner a show and cocktails. it was great. for most it was first night out after covid restrictions and felt great to get glammed up and dance like everyone now waiting for updates 👍

cstx89 · 27/08/2022 22:59

Update OP? X

Plumnora · 27/08/2022 23:13

This would be my idea of Hell. It also sounds like 99.9% of other hen dos. However, going on some of the comments here it sounds like lots of people enjoy a tacky hen do. How well does pushy hen know the bride? From what you say she sounds like a.nightmare and surely as best friend and bridesmaid you should be planning everything? You’re her best friend so you know her best- would the bride to be want this or do you feel it’s totally alien to her? This is ultimately her night and I think you not going would be a massive blow to her. If she doesn’t like the T shirts and willies then at least you can get drunk and supportively commiserate with her…

Floomobal · 27/08/2022 23:16

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 27/08/2022 22:26

Yet you're here? 🤔

Show quote history

Not desperately waiting to hear what the bride said. To see if it’s been taken down after multiple people reported the thread. But thanks for your insight 👍🏻

Everyflippingusernameistaken · 27/08/2022 23:17

It sounds bloody diabolical. So tacky I definitely would not wear any of that shit and she can’t make people pay for stuff that they don’t want to wear. I think I’d have a word with your friend and tell her that you’re worried that she’s going to really lower the tone with her plans even if you don’t say specifically what she’s going to do, although the bride to be will probably want to get all the details out of you

Kazibar · 27/08/2022 23:18

Sounds awful but if she’s your bestie, don’t just pull out, tell in a staiggtforward way what your issue is.

Baoing · 27/08/2022 23:18

She has also bought a penis costume and is insisting the bride can wear it to the restaurant and it will be "such a laugh"

There's always that one line that just....juuuust goes that tiny bit too far.

It's been a cracker, but I hear the distant sounds of trip-trapping.

dementor72 · 27/08/2022 23:50

As a bride to be I would hate , hate, hate anything like this . After arranging a calm spa weekend with close friends who the hell would imagine a pornyprickfest would be appropriate for my hen-do.
Please speak up to make a friends marriage a happy, wonderful time : not an embarrassing, cringeing memory.