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Original poster

Really don't want to go on this hen do

734 replies

AngelicaSchuyler1 · 26/08/2022 11:37

Hen do woes...

My best friend is getting married in November.

She has booked a hen weekend for Oct in a city 2 hours from where we live, we are staying in a big house and there's a spa and swimming pool, hot tub, nice restaurant on site etc.

We've all had to pay £189 each to stay in this house for two nights, plus costs of driving there etc.

My friend was originally in the group on FB messenger but has since left so we can organise surprises etc for her. One of the other hens has decided to take charge and Im actually dreading going because she's turning it into a total tacky chav fest.

She has already bought us penis whistles, feather boas, t -shirts with "funny" names on them (e.g. Juicy Jenny, Hannah the Whore, Slaggy Sam) and is insisting we wear them when we eat at the restaurant on the first night. This is a NICE restaurant and not cheap. She has also bought a penis costume and is insisting the bride can wear it to the restaurant and it will be "such a laugh". She bought all of this tat without asking us first and now wants us all to send her the money for it.

A couple of us have piped up and said we want to wear nice outfits to the restaurant but this hen is insisting that we do all of the above to make the bride laugh, and that we can wear the t-shirts over our outfits. And she's not going to be returning any of the items and we need to each pay a share for what she's bought.

Added to that, this hen is also insisting we all chip in for a male stripper, which will cost £40 each and his performance will be maximum 20 minutes! I have flat out refused to pay for this and the group chat got a bit tense as the hen was insisting we do it.

I know my best friend and yeah she might find the above funny when we're all in the house together but I also think she will be embarrassed arriving to the restaurant dressed as a cock and got the impression from her she wanted a more classy weekend enjoying the facilities on site and having a nice meal together.

I've never met this other hen before but I already dislike her and she is really putting me off going to the hen weekend. She is really bossy and all of her ideas are tacky and hideous.

Do I tell my best friend what the other hen is planning and potentially ruin the surprise for her but give her fair warning? Or do I keep my mouth shut and just try to enjoy the weekend as best I can?

OP posts:
UthredofBattenberg · 28/08/2022 20:17

Ah, re found the thread for an update, one isn't coming is there?

If there was indeed a cow hen and a Penis costume....

I had started to wonder if I couldn't find it because it had been zapped

Annieisalright · 28/08/2022 20:55

Not sure why so many think this is a troll thread

If it was surely the OP would be back continuing the story

It's far more likely she has either been caught out as it's a very outing post

And/or

The bride actually doesn't mind the penis shit and her older friend knew her better and she doesn't want to come back, tail between the legs

shadypines · 28/08/2022 20:56

Hell is a tacky hen do.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/08/2022 21:15

Annieisalright · 28/08/2022 20:55

Not sure why so many think this is a troll thread

If it was surely the OP would be back continuing the story

It's far more likely she has either been caught out as it's a very outing post

And/or

The bride actually doesn't mind the penis shit and her older friend knew her better and she doesn't want to come back, tail between the legs

Nah. The penis costume and the separate WhatsApp group were both a step too far.

Annieisalright · 28/08/2022 21:42

@OchonAgusOchonOh

Having experienced both of those (on separate hen nights) I'm not sure why that's so unbelievable

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/08/2022 21:56

Annieisalright · 28/08/2022 21:42

@OchonAgusOchonOh

Having experienced both of those (on separate hen nights) I'm not sure why that's so unbelievable

Really? An actual penis costume? There is no way I would have stayed with a group that lacking in consideration for others (assuming it was in public) and in self-respect. A sudden migrane would have resulted in me needing to retire from the proceedings.

What caused the separate whatsapp group?

Anewdayanewdawn · 28/08/2022 22:11

Mmm, maybe the bride and hencow have seen the thread and all hell’s broken loose… or bride has just said, please don’t talk about this in public please!!!

ddl1 · 28/08/2022 22:13

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/08/2022 21:15

Nah. The penis costume and the separate WhatsApp group were both a step too far.

Show quote history

Not at all sure. Can''t believe I'm quoting the Scum, but...

www.thesun.co.uk/news/19630635/hen-party-penis-costumes-lockdown-police/

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/08/2022 22:19

ddl1 · 28/08/2022 22:13

Not at all sure. Can''t believe I'm quoting the Scum, but...

www.thesun.co.uk/news/19630635/hen-party-penis-costumes-lockdown-police/

Show quote history

Good god.

Annieisalright · 28/08/2022 22:35

@OchonAgusOchonOh

I gather you haven't seen many hen nights?

Penis costumes are hardly a rarity

And the separate WhatsApp was for a very similar issue to the OP, a few bridesmaids going ott and one set up a separate group without the MOH to try and get 'back up' for their ideas so when they messaged in the main group we'd all back her up

Didn't work of course but it's hardly a sign of a troll post

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/08/2022 22:54

Annieisalright · 28/08/2022 22:35

@OchonAgusOchonOh

I gather you haven't seen many hen nights?

Penis costumes are hardly a rarity

And the separate WhatsApp was for a very similar issue to the OP, a few bridesmaids going ott and one set up a separate group without the MOH to try and get 'back up' for their ideas so when they messaged in the main group we'd all back her up

Didn't work of course but it's hardly a sign of a troll post

I've been to plenty of hen parties. My friends just tend to be a bit classier than that.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/08/2022 22:58

@Annieisalright Oops. Read it as been to, not seen.

Yes, I've also seen plenty. The city I live in (well, just outside) is a tourist destination and has lots of hen and stag parties. The most you see is sashes, matching t-shirts, a veil and an occasional set of penis straws. Obviously a classy destination too...

Superduper02 · 28/08/2022 23:46

Can we have an update PLEASE! #invested

Superduper02 · 28/08/2022 23:57

Look what I found - can't believe this is a done thing tbh. Kind of out of order reporting OP's name and everything!

Daily express reporting on this story

DanielTheGhostGangbanger · 29/08/2022 00:52

Superduper02 · 28/08/2022 23:57

Look what I found - can't believe this is a done thing tbh. Kind of out of order reporting OP's name and everything!

Daily express reporting on this story

They are absolute shitbags aren't they @Superduper02 !! There's no shortage of actual real life news, there's no need to go scouring through the forums. The vast majority of posters here know whether their friends/family use MN so have an idea of whether it's likely to be safe to post. Once it's in the main media, there's no way of knowing who will see it, and recognise it.

I know people say don't post anything here that you don't want the Mail or the Express etc to pick up, just in case, but it's still a shitty way to be a so-called "journalist".

The Express is even more of a gutter rag than the Mail. This is one of the comments from the article "Ha! Made up. No woman on mumsnet can interest a man, let alone keep a relationship going. Mumsnet is were all the rejects go to manhate." (their typo, not mine). Delightful. The only surprise is that pond life like that can actually write in full sentences.

Confusion101 · 29/08/2022 01:43

Is there no way we can call out this extremely lazy method of "journalism". Its fucking chronic

AlexandriasWindmill · 29/08/2022 03:47

A journalist probably wrote the OP anyway. 🙄

mam0918 · 29/08/2022 08:44

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/08/2022 21:15

Nah. The penis costume and the separate WhatsApp group were both a step too far.

Show quote history

Not remotely.

Theres 2 hen whatsapps for a hen do Im about to go one, the first one got to long and confusing for people who didnt read until days/weeks after discussions happened and then where attempting to read old posts and give opinions after things had been agreed/settled/booked.

Penis costumes are exceptionally common and popular on stag/hen do websites and coming from a popular stag/hen city I have seen them a few times.

Neither thing is unusual at all.

IrisVersicolor · 29/08/2022 08:50

DanielTheGhostGangbanger · 29/08/2022 00:52

They are absolute shitbags aren't they @Superduper02 !! There's no shortage of actual real life news, there's no need to go scouring through the forums. The vast majority of posters here know whether their friends/family use MN so have an idea of whether it's likely to be safe to post. Once it's in the main media, there's no way of knowing who will see it, and recognise it.

I know people say don't post anything here that you don't want the Mail or the Express etc to pick up, just in case, but it's still a shitty way to be a so-called "journalist".

The Express is even more of a gutter rag than the Mail. This is one of the comments from the article "Ha! Made up. No woman on mumsnet can interest a man, let alone keep a relationship going. Mumsnet is were all the rejects go to manhate." (their typo, not mine). Delightful. The only surprise is that pond life like that can actually write in full sentences.

Show quote history

As I said above, the implication is that they wrote it in this instance.

Once the article was published we heard nothing more from the OP.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 29/08/2022 10:09

Mmmmm I did wonder - TBH I mainly posted so I'd be sure to get the deletion message :)

felineweird · 29/08/2022 10:24

DanielTheGhostGangbanger · 29/08/2022 00:52

They are absolute shitbags aren't they @Superduper02 !! There's no shortage of actual real life news, there's no need to go scouring through the forums. The vast majority of posters here know whether their friends/family use MN so have an idea of whether it's likely to be safe to post. Once it's in the main media, there's no way of knowing who will see it, and recognise it.

I know people say don't post anything here that you don't want the Mail or the Express etc to pick up, just in case, but it's still a shitty way to be a so-called "journalist".

The Express is even more of a gutter rag than the Mail. This is one of the comments from the article "Ha! Made up. No woman on mumsnet can interest a man, let alone keep a relationship going. Mumsnet is were all the rejects go to manhate." (their typo, not mine). Delightful. The only surprise is that pond life like that can actually write in full sentences.

Show quote history

Lol @ noone on mumsnet can attract or keep a man when most of us on here have been married for years!

Sotiredofthelies · 29/08/2022 11:29

Sounds awful. If you genuinely think your friend will hate this, I'd tell her what she's up to, and give her a chance to intervene. There's no reason you have to put yourself through it either.

T1Dmama · 29/08/2022 11:35

Yes have to say I’ve been awaiting an update of what happened. I do hope the bride is ok… think I’d be tempted to cancel the whole thing and get refunds, and tell certain ‘friends’ not to bother turning up and causing issues at my wedding!

ddl1 · 29/08/2022 13:53

Once the article was published we heard nothing more from the OP.

Very likely because she saw it and didn't want to give more fodder to the tabloid press. Or the bride saw it and told her not to talk any more in public about her hen night, even anonymously.

Cowhen · 29/08/2022 14:57

Name change wasted! 😁