To think this is unnecessary and a bit braggy?

[ThingInTheAttic]

Mum in my son's year whom I'm Facebook friends with has posted a gushing congratulations message to her DS on his GCSE results, details of said results and how proud she is of him etc etc.
The DS lives in the same house. She can literally just speak to him and tell him how proud she is, as I've done with mine. I can't therefore see any reason for posting to him on Facebook, other than it's a stealth brag.
I get that some people have hoards of RL friends/relatives all over the world etc and FB is a then a good way to let them all know family news, but she isn't in that situation.
She does tend to do this for every single thing the DS does well, and
I fully accept I may just be old and out of touch with how people use FB as I'm not one to splash every bit of my life all over it. I just don't get why she address congratulations to the DS? Just tell him to his face

I was coming here to say this too @PhotoDad.

OP, you can't be that much of a "pedant" if you're not familiar with this literary style.

I like Facebook - I realise that's a huge crime in MN-Land - but I don't use it to share posts like this. I mainly just post funny photos and stupid stuff that happens in daily life that made me laugh.

(Example - my DM told me she'd bought me a present to say thank you as I've supported her with a lot recently. She was very excited for me to open it. What was it? A toilet seat. A basic white toilet seat. I don't need a new toilet seat, nor have I expressed any interest in toilet seats. My current toilet seat is quite new, in excellent condition and a bit posher than the one she bought me. I have no clue why she bought me a toilet seat. She doesn't have dementia - she's always been like this. Utterly bonkers. She didn't buy it as a joke but it made me laugh very much. Who buys another person a random toilet seat as a gift?! I shared this on FB and it gave everyone a bit of a laugh too. My DM being batshit is well-known 😅 )

Anyway, I digress. Proud parent posts are like Marmite - people love them or hate them. I don't do them but I can appreciate people posting proud messages to their DC on results day. I can do without the #soblessed hashtags but I can just roll and scroll. (Roll my eyes, that is. Not do an actual army roll on the floor as a gesture of disdain.) I do think if you can't cut other parents a bit of slack on results day, it's a bit mean.

Also, in answer to the accusations of it being insensitive... Both my DC are autistic. Neither are likely to take exams and DS won't ever live independently. I can still be happy for other parents.

My DP Was like this before I met him and when we got together he stopped posting altogether. At first I thought it was because he didn't want anyone to know about us. He said he used to post everything because he just wanted recognition from anyone that they cared following the death of his wife. That was his validation. When we got together he didn't need that anymore. It isn't always bragging. I'm not saying that this is the same as your example though

"Hate all this on exam results day, i always think of those that haven't done well and are breaking their hearts over it."

You could argue that about most things posted on Facebook.

Goodness me, seems I'm not the only mean-spirited person here. I think you ought to apologise for calling me a liar and think very carefully about how you speak to people you know nothing about.
I am many things, and certainly not perfect, but I wouldn't stoop to lying about such a thing in order to score petty points. I think your comment says a lot more about you than it does me.
I'd happily post a photo of his results, but that's not my info to share, it's his, and no doubt you'd just accuse me of using someone elses results.

Your mum is brilliant.

I understand this sentiment but surely by that logic you could never post anything. I can't post pics of me and DH because j have friends who are unhappily single. Can't post a pic of my baby because my sister is struggling to conceive. Couldn't post a pic on holiday because some people can't afford a holiday and are on the breadline, where does it end

When we take a picture of something that the kids see as momentous, sometimes they ask am I going to post it on the family WhatsApp page. Like it or not, we’re in a world where some people like to pass on news this way. They don’t even look for likes or comments, they just want to know that people know!

Woah. I don’t have to pretend to be pleased at my friends’ kids doing well because I’m genuinely interested and pleased.

It’s also good because you generally hear what their plans are - A levels, apprenticeships etc. I’ve known many of those kids since they were babies, damn right I’m interested and pleased!! Fucking hell some mean spirited cows on here!

Yabu
Facebook is there to brag on

Let her brag 😆
Or unfollow😇

You're not wierd. Other people are! I'm not on any social media but stupid things flash up on my newsfeed on my phone where X celebrity addresses their other half to wish them a happy whatever/blow smoke up their arse while they are sitting right there or are presumably contactable by phone. Turn around and say it to them for Gods sake.

But you just shared the info. A photo with the name etc cropped out won’t be any different. I really want to see the pic because I don’t believe you.

Sounds like my stepMIL. H She constantly gushes about her two adult sons on FB and it seems to be getting worse as they get older. Constant public declarations of love from both sides too. "love you so much son so unbelievably proud of you for doing the dishes xxx "love you so much too Mum xxx" URGH.

@ThingInTheAttic I’m far from the only poster who didn’t believe that. People lie on MN all the time and add information to their posts when things aren’t going their way.

Your friend (who you say you like) is clearly bursting with pride and is excited to share it. It’s nice. It’s not been an easy few years for school children. And if you don’t like it, don’t engage - instead of starting an internet thread about her.

You can tell who all the Facebook braggers are… All this disingenuous ‘why can’t you just be happy for them?’…

Why should you be happy for somebody else’s boastful pride? Because that’s what this is. It’s a mother boasting and wanting some public recognition ‘me me me’. It’s not actually about the child at all. Otherwise, like you say op, they’d do it face to face at home. It’s needy, dumb and egotistical and I agree with you op.

Nothing wrong with documenting on social media about how proud you are of your children. I do it find it annoying when people tag themselves mysteriously at a&e with no explanation then the comments of "you ok hun?" 🤣🤣.

I'd never post my son's results, such an invasion of privacy. No one on my facebook have posted the actual results. I thought most people had finally moved on from posting such personal things on facebook anyway.

I can only assume people post this sort of stuff because they are insecure and need external validation, which is why most people show off. I am Facebook friends with a lady I went to uni with and the stuff she posts about her kids is just so cringeworthy, and I can’t believe she doesn’t realise how awful it must make some people feel (especially the stuff she posted about homeschooling during covid when she will have known how much some people were struggling).

We were recently on holiday with my SIL and have a lovely time but a couple of awful things happened involving her and fall outs (nothing to do with me and I’m not judging what happened at all). Since we got back all she has done is post about how amazing it was, best trip ever, luckiest person in the world etc etc - it’s complete bullshit. A stark reminder of how people use FB in the way that makes them feel better, and for her giving a persona like this is important even though it’s not true.

So I guess take FB for what it is, with a big pinch of salt, roll your eyes and scroll on, and just do what works for you.

That is exactly why I am not really on FB

@ThingInTheAttic did she manage to post it on the son’s page? Or just announced on hers lol

It's definitely a personality thing. It's not something I'd feel the need to do myself, but they're only feeling proud and sharing their good news with people who they believe are family and friends and would be happy for them.

It's a bit sad of people can't celebrate without being deemed braggy.

I wonder what people who post all this shite on facebook etc done before it was around .
In my day got your results and that was that , they weren't the be all and end all of the rest of your life . I'm thinking if nearly everyone has XYZ results then they are pretty meaningless in the great scheme of things

This. It says more about you than her. Let me guess, you have a child that did really badly and this is upsetting for them.

Same!

@Mumspair1 her son got 10 A* apparently and anyone that doesn’t believe her ought to apologise….

YADNBU - I don’t get this - bragging used to be considered not ok for a multitude of reasons and I wish we would go back to that.

You can be proud of your kid without posting about it on Facebook.

I have never understood the addressing something to someone in particular (when really it’s intended for everyone else).