DH accepted a new job offer 100 quid less per week but says it will eventually advance his career...

[Cruella78]

DH went back to college & studied a field related to his career... He recieved a job in his new field but the salary is 100 quid less per week that we can't afford!! He says that the salary will increase & also that he will have greater earning potential I the future... Aibu to feel uneasy about this? It feels risky.. His old salary was 80k per year & I am a sahm as I don't want to pay a fortune in childcare & we have no family support...

I said YABU. If your DH will genuinely peruse a careere and advance, I wouldn't be concerned.

However just as presumably being a SAHM was a joint decision and all household income is joint. Then it should have been a joint decision about taking a job that paid less. If your opinion was worth less because you're not the one earning or you felt you couldn't object, then I think that's a bigger problem. In that case I would agree with posters telling you to get a job and not just to top up your household income!

I know people are telling you that £70k is enough and it absolutely should be but it will absolutely be tight in places like London for a family of 4.

I really can’t understand your response to the suggestion of a job, OP. You say you have no qualifications or experience - are you planning to never work? Because you have to start somewhere.

I think any spouse making a unilateral decision affecting their family income is potentially unfair, but so is the other one being unwilling to give serious consideration to possible solutions to offset the drop in income

OP, what do you do when children are at school?

I can not believe the sense of entitlement you have. your DH deserves to pursue his ambitions. If your are begrudging missing out on 10k earn it yourself

A one salary household on 80k?? That's above the average household income for two people... if you can't afford to lose £100 a week I'd have a look at your finances and see where you can save. If your husband is the sole earner and wants to progress his career then it makes sense to suck this up for a while.

Sorry I'm not sure I understand, you are a SAHM and have childcare costs? Surely this means you don't have to pay for childcare? Although of course you will need a break but it's not needed for you to go to work, which is the main reason I have had to pay for it. Your dh is still on a very high wage, cut back a bit but sounds like you will a lot better off than many people. Xxx

I think it's been said but your
Kids are at school

Get yourself a job. Stop whinging about it

You'll walk into a job in this market

Just want to say (having read op's posts): Best of luck! I am all for women standing on their own two feet. Anything can happen at any time and work is such a confidence booster, even if you don't earn loads.
Your DH's career change just be your career's start. You are young still, with so many years to fill with productivity and results. 💪

It sounds like it will pay off and you should be able to cope with the reduction given his salary.

But if money is a concern it probably is a good time to get back to work? You presumably might as well start now unless you plan to be a housewife for the next 40 odd years.

What did you used to do?

You were on an income of £80k and now are going to be on £75k or thereabouts? Many people manage on less than half of that. You will perhaps need to start cutting down on/cutting out some things

Sorry but you sound very spoiled to me. The lesser salary should be enough for anyone to manage on. If you have loads of debt to pay off then you should not live beyond your means. Try going without a few things & you will be surprised how much you can save. Money isn't everything.

This tbh. Try to find a PT job, or you risk resentment building. At the very least you shouldn't begrudge him a job with healthcare etc that he enjoys.

I know people are telling you that £70k is enough and it absolutely should be but it will absolutely be tight in places like London for a family of 4.

Please tell me which pharmaceutical plants that are large enough to need a large team of maintenance engineers are based in London? Pharmaceutical plants with large engineering teams are based in unfashionable parts of the country.

I was a stay at home mum until recently. My husband earned a similar amount and wasn't happy. Happiness is more important to us. He has drop down the pay scale and I'm working 2 days to make up the difference. Worth it for a happier life for us all.

£70k a year income is more than most households have in total with 2 working.

and percentage wise, it's not that much of a drop from his old salary.

YABU

At least she's got some manners.

I was going to say oh no too risky at first until I saw how old your children are. My dh earns 100k and I still work around the kids and my youngest is almost 4. Surely you can find a job, childcare isn’t expensive at those ages🤷🏽‍♀️

I took a slight salary hit in my career for different experience (early 90's, lost about £4k pa but got co car instead), within 12m landed a dream job and never looked back. Good luck to your hubby.

And stop writing yourself off at 42 yo! I'd def go look at a little part time something for you too, it'll probably be good for you.

I agree with you, you have to do what’s best for your overall happiness/goals and a wife should support and help out where possible.

You can’t manage on £70k plus pa? I wish I earned that sort of money. As a lone parent ( working full time) I’ve brought up my kids on half your DH’s wages. What do you spend it on ?

Honestly, these threads HAVE to be humble brags.

There no way you can say getting nearly 75k a year on just a single salary is 'risky' or that you 'cant afford it'.

Thats a lot more than what most average people pull in to a double salary household and you know it.

I retrained to change jobs. Short term lesser money for a few years but now 12 years on, on double the salary I was on. Look at the long game and see how you can manage in the meantime.

There are retail jobs out there that would get you experience and back in the job market

You do not need any qualifications to earn £100/week, OP.

what’s the dc’s hobby op? Could you get work that ties in with that?