DH accepted a new job offer 100 quid less per week but says it will eventually advance his career...

[Cruella78]

DH went back to college & studied a field related to his career... He recieved a job in his new field but the salary is 100 quid less per week that we can't afford!! He says that the salary will increase & also that he will have greater earning potential I the future... Aibu to feel uneasy about this? It feels risky.. His old salary was 80k per year & I am a sahm as I don't want to pay a fortune in childcare & we have no family support...

I changed job direction at the age of 65...I was formerly self employed and then decided to go back to work. I could use a pc and wasn't stupid; initially I went for night work as a transport clerk and adored every minute, when needs changed I worked same position during the day. It wasn't rocket science and the money wasn't bad. It's never too late or too hard to start over.

Fantastic! You've got this.

I did a Microsoft suite course at 44 to update my CV, have never worked in an office in my life, and now work part time 4 days a week for a firm of chartered surveyors. Bloody love it too! You can do this.

He’s still a high earner. If you really can’t manage with a drop of £80 a week you could pick up some evening bar work....no childcare needed. Or as the kids are older you could pick up some daytime work and then just use an after school club, so shop work, office work.

or tighten your belts for a bit.

if he thinks that long term he’ll be on more money that’s good. Even if it means no holidays, cancel the Netflix, dye your own hair, etc for a while.

Awesome. The other thing to consider is temping agencies. I picked up office work with no experience through a temping agency. And both times I did it it led to permanent job offers but even if it doesn’t it gets you experience.

Do you live down south as if you can’t cope with £70k, you must have an enormous amount of outgoings!

You both need to take the long view here.

The pension contribution is great because it will be employer-matched.

Your kids are now of an age where you could also train for something. And get a job that would earn you NI contributions towards a state pension and also employer contributions towards a private pension.

I hate to say it OP, but wrt your own situation you and your DH took the short-term cash view: your earnings would disappear in child care. BUT a job leads to promotion, professional development, training, a pension....all of which increase the value of the job over its cash income, and especially over the years.

You will now benefit from taking the long view wrt your DH's job.

What did you do before kids? What are your interests? You could do an NVQ in Catering Hygiene, the hospitality industry is desperate! A book keeping course? School Administration? There are courses for that, and as a TA - jobs with school hours!

She said they have a big mortgage. You live within your means.

What were your career plans before you met your husband? Surely you didn’t just say “I do” to then say “I don’t (work)”

your kids aren’t little, you can get jobs around school hours to help out and maybe then you will have something to be ambitious about.

So all the financial burden is on your dh and you want to sit on your arse while the kids are at school and then you moan when he wants to change jobs? Blimey. What are your plans when your kids are old enough not to need childcare (which isn’t far off and you only need wraparound now)? You sound very entitled and selfish.

Many years ago DH made a career change and his salary went down quite a lot but he was much happier at work. Times were tough but we managed and eventually his salary increased. He took on a Saturday job for a while - I was a SAHM at the time and he had a professional qualification and so could earn more in a day than I could. Eventually it was all worth it.

I want to know what career he’s in that you can retrain into and waltz into a £70k salary.

Can people not read? The OP never said her dh had done a college course to retrain for a different career where he is starting from scratch on £70k. He has done a course to upskill in the (already well-paid ) sector he was already in, which may give him the opportunity for promotion later.

What happened to your 1 year old?

OP.
I was like you and it's so hard , after being a SAHM to get back in the workplace, but it's so doable.

When the children do to school the days can seem endless without other human contact. This lack of contact can really affect your confidence but think of all the skills that you have learned along the way... time management, versatility, organisation etc...

Start with something that you have some knowledge of... customer facing, retail, trust, team work ... all requisites of retail.
Retail has a huge recruitment shortage at the moment and there are plenty of wfh opportunities within that sector.

My local Sainsbury's has a huge banner advertising online sales assistants roles.
Suspect this is a nationwide exercise.
This type of job could be very accommodating for you.

All the very best OP and let us know how you get on.

Firstly, well done your dh it’s a big achievement . Don’t detract from it by complaining or expressing misgivings

next you need to get a job or do an access course. I see you’re already jib hunting so yes brush up interviews skills and crack on. Really there is no compelling reason to be a sahm you can arrange childcare. You’ll be more fulfilled working and it enhances your earnings and contribution to the family

OP you just need to get your confidence back. I'm 50 and I've been very part time while dh has been the main earner since our first dc was born. I was the higher earner until then. I was beginning to feel like I was on the shelf work-wise and felt guilty because dh was getting exhausted and stressed with his difficult job.

Anyway, to cut along story short, dh has moved sectors and taken a massive salary cut (over £20k!) and I start my new ft job a week today on the same salary as him. Admittedly our dc are older so it's easier from that pov. But it's good to keep your hand in job-wise, otherwise it gets harder and harder to get back into it.

I think you should support him.

If you don't like it, earn some money yourself. It's bloody awful doing a job you don't want to be doing, and I suspect doubly so when your partner voluntarily doesn't work.

Get a job then !!!!

Speak to your local job centre for advice on writng cv, any courses you can attend
Any after school childcare comes from joint income
You can do sonething for you
Not too late for you to train
Your d c will be grown and you still have 20 years left to work for good things in life and to suppirt d thru uni if they want that

What do you do all day OP?? Your kids are at school! Surely you could work? Don’t you ever plan on working? What’s wrong with an evening job while your husband is home? You can’t seriously expect him to turn down a job he prefers, with prospects, so you can moan about it but do nothing to help!

LTB!

Seriously, just get a job and start contributing or cut back on the manicures and ski-trips.

@QuebecBagnet

why should OP’s husband do without holidays just because op hasn’t wanted to get a job

You missed the OP's post about shift work? There is a handy link to read all posts by the OP which would answer all your questions.

Seriously this is yet another Cancel the Cheque - OP lacked confidence and knows she needed the push to get back out there, as she acknowledges way up thread.

Pull your finger out and make up the shortfall.