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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours Dog

487 replies

Rustpail · 25/08/2022 11:57

I'v name changed for this. But am at the end of my tether and need advice. I recently bought a flat, its lovely and I'm really happy with it, but my neighbour has an absolutely huge dog and I'm allergic. She insists on taking it out for a walk three times a day through the communal hallway and I find it quite intimidating and it is making me sneeze.

I wasnt told about the dog when I bought the flat, and it doesnt make any noise. Apparently she has permission for it and permission can only be removed if it is making a noise or fouling - but not for any other nuisance. What can I do?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Leafy3 · 25/08/2022 22:21

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 25/08/2022 21:38

PS: Do you need a book about how to create good neighbourly relationships when you've just moved into a building? Good luck with that.

How To Win Friends and Influence People would be a good start 😉

differential · 25/08/2022 22:26

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maddy68 · 25/08/2022 23:10

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Culldesack · 25/08/2022 23:13

Rustpail · 25/08/2022 12:07

Antihistamines make me drowsy I dont think I can take them long term. I'd feel whacked all the time.

But surely if she's been given permission then they shouldve told me that they've granted permission for a dog in the building. I'll email the managing agent and ask why i wasnt told

It's all about you isn't it?

Quincythequince · 25/08/2022 23:15

Move.
You can move!

Quincythequince · 25/08/2022 23:17

Rustpail · 25/08/2022 12:18

@SolasAnla unfortunately the lease just says that dogs are allowed with permission, and that permission will be revoked for noise nuisance or fouling, which I find weirdly specific. This dog is a nuisance, just not in the ways listed.

For those asking I think it is a labrador, but I dont know that that matters.

I'm just so upset, I can't afford to move again, and I am so miserable. I just wished they'd told me.

The facemasks are a good idea- I might try that, then at least the owner might get the picture that i am not happy

How is this dog a nuisance?

Grumpusaurus · 25/08/2022 23:23

Wow! You are an entitled brat! If you have such an issue then the onus is on you to deal with it. I would tell you to fuck right off if you tried your obnoxious shit with me. If you are that bothered then hover yourself, otherwise mind your own business you utter fruit loop!

Culldesack · 25/08/2022 23:41

Soubriquet · 25/08/2022 16:04

Found it

Show quote history

😅

rainbowmilk · 26/08/2022 00:01

Surely the answer is to wear a Boba Fett helmet. The OP, not the dog.

Trulyweird1 · 26/08/2022 08:16

rainbowmilk · 26/08/2022 00:01

Surely the answer is to wear a Boba Fett helmet. The OP, not the dog.

Thinking my Labrador would look cute dressed as Boba Fett😁

Superbabe64 · 26/08/2022 09:06

Every time a come back to this thread I keep thinking it must be a troll or a joke or something...but heck...to even have the audacity to think she's in the right here and come on mumsnet and look for sympathy...some the replies have had me in absolute stitches 😂

gatehouseoffleet · 26/08/2022 09:15

I have to say I think the vitriol on this thread is somewhat unwarranted. If someone had a disability, you'd be a lot more sympathetic. Well a serious allergy IS a disability but nobody cares when it comes to "fur babies" because their "need" to have a pet and take it everywhere outweighs everything else (and service providers pander to it).

However, the OP should have checked beforehand, as this is her home. That said, it doesn't really help. She could have moved in, a month later a flat goes on the market and several months later someone moves in with dogs. Maybe living in a flat isn't the thing to do with a dog allergy. A house would be better, where you have your own front door. Or a ground floor flat with its own entrance or patio doors so you don't need to use the main entrance.

Soubriquet · 26/08/2022 09:20

gatehouseoffleet · 26/08/2022 09:15

I have to say I think the vitriol on this thread is somewhat unwarranted. If someone had a disability, you'd be a lot more sympathetic. Well a serious allergy IS a disability but nobody cares when it comes to "fur babies" because their "need" to have a pet and take it everywhere outweighs everything else (and service providers pander to it).

However, the OP should have checked beforehand, as this is her home. That said, it doesn't really help. She could have moved in, a month later a flat goes on the market and several months later someone moves in with dogs. Maybe living in a flat isn't the thing to do with a dog allergy. A house would be better, where you have your own front door. Or a ground floor flat with its own entrance or patio doors so you don't need to use the main entrance.

Oooooooor she finds a flat block that doesn’t allow pets full stop. They do exist.

And we are getting on at OP too because they aren’t helping themselves either. Refusing to use anti-histamines, even non drowsy ones for a start.

loislovesstewie · 26/08/2022 09:25

Or, she could have found a flat that had its own , not communal, exit/entrance.

Somethingneedstochange · 26/08/2022 09:33

This

Superbabe64 · 26/08/2022 10:00

@gatehouseoffleet
I do not have a 'fur baby' and and yes....flats where there are absolutely no animals allowed do exists...we own one.
Sounds to me like the OP is an 'always other people's fault' kind a person.

@Grumpusaurus the same words in my head 😁

SoupDragon · 26/08/2022 10:18

Well a serious allergy IS a disability

The dog makes her sneeze.

puddleduckle · 26/08/2022 10:24

Rustpail · 25/08/2022 18:05

Thanks for those who actually were helpful. Hoovering more is a good shout, the management company hoovers once a month, and I know my neighbour hoovers inbetween, but I am going to write her a note saying that she needs to hoover every day, she obviously knows its a problem because she is already doing it a bit but weekly is just not enough.

I'm going to get a mask and see what the GP says and then see where we can go from there.

I'm not going to check this anymore because some of the comments are a bit much

You sound like a nightmare neighbour. Please, please ask this poor woman to hoover everyday and let us know the response. I know what mine would be!!

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/08/2022 10:34

I know what the nuisance is and it ain't the dog...

bringbackveronicamars · 26/08/2022 10:40

I'd hoover one additional time if OP asked me under the described circumstances ... at about 3 am outside her doorway.

OP, as my teenagers would say, this is a you problem.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 26/08/2022 10:53

@gatehouseoffleet but surely buying a flat where something you're allergic to is/can be permitted is no different to getting a job in a peanut factory if you're allergic to peanuts. She has put herself in this position.

I'd have slightly more sympathy if the dog arrived afterwards AND she hadn't been made aware in the purchase - though it will be in the paperwork and you don't buy a house without reading the paperwork

But, the dog was already there - entering and exiting through the entrance to the flats. She cannot seriously think that this amounts to the dog being a nuisance, or expect the neighbour to get rid of it.

And yes, allergies can be serious, and life threatening, but 1 dog making you sneeze hardly screams serious.

Yerroblemom1923 · 26/08/2022 11:00

Wow. Speechless. Responsible dog owner looks after dog appropriately. She didn't know she'd be having a neighbour with allergies. How do you cope in the real world? Y'know, parks, pavements, fields, general areas with dogs....? Take your antihistamine/epi-pen etc and you'll be fine. Those equating it with a disability is just silly. Do hayfever suffers want trees,grass,flowers,pollen etc eradicated from their world???

Culldesack · 26/08/2022 11:10

gatehouseoffleet · 26/08/2022 09:15

I have to say I think the vitriol on this thread is somewhat unwarranted. If someone had a disability, you'd be a lot more sympathetic. Well a serious allergy IS a disability but nobody cares when it comes to "fur babies" because their "need" to have a pet and take it everywhere outweighs everything else (and service providers pander to it).

However, the OP should have checked beforehand, as this is her home. That said, it doesn't really help. She could have moved in, a month later a flat goes on the market and several months later someone moves in with dogs. Maybe living in a flat isn't the thing to do with a dog allergy. A house would be better, where you have your own front door. Or a ground floor flat with its own entrance or patio doors so you don't need to use the main entrance.

How awful that a dog needs to pee. How selfish that an owner is taking it out 3 times a day. How irresponsible service providers are for allowing dogs into establishments. You are just as entitled as the OP. Everything has to be on YOUR terms.

ScaryFaces · 26/08/2022 12:11

gatehouseoffleet · 26/08/2022 09:15

I have to say I think the vitriol on this thread is somewhat unwarranted. If someone had a disability, you'd be a lot more sympathetic. Well a serious allergy IS a disability but nobody cares when it comes to "fur babies" because their "need" to have a pet and take it everywhere outweighs everything else (and service providers pander to it).

However, the OP should have checked beforehand, as this is her home. That said, it doesn't really help. She could have moved in, a month later a flat goes on the market and several months later someone moves in with dogs. Maybe living in a flat isn't the thing to do with a dog allergy. A house would be better, where you have your own front door. Or a ground floor flat with its own entrance or patio doors so you don't need to use the main entrance.

Nobody here has used the term "fur babies" except you just now. The neighbour is not being entitled by owning a pet and she is not "needing to take it everywhere" except for normal walks and toilet breaks which are a necessity, not entitlement.

The facts are:

  • This neighbour has the right to own a dog
  • Said dog needs exercise/toilet breaks so it needs to be taken out regularly
  • This means taking it through the communal area since presumably there is no other exit available
  • There is no way to prevent this happening short of asking this neighbour to get rid of her dog (not reasonable) or asking her not to take it out for walks and to let it piss and shit in her flat instead (not reasonable).

If OP is so allergic to dogs she cannot use a communal space where one has been, it was her mistake to choose a flat with a communal exit where dogs are allowed. She is the one who is being entitled, expecting people not to own or care for pets they are absolutely allowed to have. It's entirely on her, her neighbour has done nothing wrong.

Leafy3 · 26/08/2022 12:26

Sneezing once or twice in the hallway isn't a serious allergy by any stretch of the imagination!

If she had a serious allergy, she'd be getting a lot of empathy.

Fwiw I have several allergies, including allergic asthma and a dog allergy which - at best - make my eyes stream, my skin break out in hives, gives me sneezing fits and the rest. I wouldn't dream of behaving the way the op is!