To be told to come in when AL agreed and booked?

[RosiePosie27]

DH and I are going away (a couple hours away from our home) with our children and some of his family. We are away Friday - Monday at this location and likely home then on Monday afternoon / Tuesday if we don’t stay at MILs house on the way home.

My issue is that I booked these days off months ago (back in Feb / March) and it was approved by a team lead who is no longer in the department. A lady I jobshare with also asked to have one day that we both work together off (Tuesday, day after bank holiday Monday). This was approved by aforementioned team lead.

So, last Friday my manager says as I’m leaving work “there is no one in from your team on that Tuesday - can you come in?”. I said I was away but would see what I could do. I spoke with the lady I jobshare with (and who booked the day off after I did) and she won’t change her plans. She said she wasn’t doing anything during her leave (fair enough) but won’t come in (she has no DC and I have 3 just for reference).

Now I know that we both booked leave and had it approved - do you think I should make an effort to come in on the Tuesday even though it was agreed first that I could be off? Or should I just suck it up and come back early to work even though it will change our plans for our holiday?

Nothing against the lady I jobshare with but she knows I am away and refused to come in on this one day (again, fair enough) but I hate that I had to be the one who offers just to keep the management calm.

AIBU not to come in on the Tuesday, or should I be AINBU to not come in?

I used to have a job that required you to provide cover work if you were off sick. The most empowering thing I ever did was tell them that wasn't going to happen as I wasn't well enough. The world didn't crash down and when I went back they hadn't even used the work I'd already prepared. AL is your holiday and they have created their problem. Why should you come in rather than your JS? Enjoy your holiday.

Sorry you have found the responses triggering, these have already been deleted, so I don’t know what they said. The post about people pleasing, I didn’t take it as that poster being malicious. A lot of us can have that tendency and it can be useful to address it. Hope you can switch off from the situation and enjoy your break.

Are you the colleague or is she a close friend of yours? That was a bit of an aggressive response 😂

@LaDamaDeElche was that supposed to be a joke? It wasn't very funny.

A joke? No, your response was very aggressive. Unless I've missed something on the thread and you are the colleague/know the colleague, then that's a pretty invested response to a random on the internet talking about a situation in which neither of you are involved.

It is irrelevant who booked the leave first, they both had leave approved.

If they had both simply requested leave, then yes who asked first is relevant to the approving of it. But once approved, I can’t see that who asked first has any relevance.

@blueink I had a post deleted for some reason, I think mumsnet just deletes anything that gets a report on it.

So in my post, Op had answered to someone that agreed her having children was relevant and she said thank you for seeing my point of view.

I replied to say, “oh so despite your earlier apology, you really do think your leave is more important as you have children”. I obviously cannot remember it word for word, but I don’t generally engage in strong language so I am baffled.

I don’t really see what I said that is much different to many other posts, but apparently it was sufficient to be removed.

To be fair, responses involving “excuse me” and “fuck” generally tend to be “aggressive” 😂

It would be relevant in many workplaces as usually written in contract that employer has right to withdraw annual leave if certain situations

I found this thread and the OPs responses very dramatic and bizarre. I think your post was removed as the OP requested her removed, probably because she realised how ridiculous she sounded.

There has been no barrage of abuse and very little, if any nastiness to OP. Posters were quite rightly confused as to why the OP having children gave her the upper hand and pointed it out, probably because we know as working mothers we are already disadvantaged and viewed with suspicion so people trying to use having children as a bargaining chip or an excuse gets our goat.

Endlesslypatient82 Exactly! Also, normally when someone starts with "Excuse me" it's a response to being personally insulted too 🤷🏻‍♀️

Totally agree

to my posts - none of which deleted, the op basically exploded at me. Most odd

When both share a job and are cover for each other, and both are now off at the same time, it could well be grounds for leave being withdrawn for one person to retain cover.

The person who received it last would be the person to lose it, on the basis that they were approved leave in error.

That has and does happen.

The problem here is the boss has neglected to notice and corrective action is being taken last minute, which is not the OP's problem.

Often in HR manuals it will state that both those covering each others positions cannot take AL together.

Not unusual at all.

The manager has messed up by not knowing when her team were taking AL.

No it absolutely wouldn’t be relevant. And I am well aware that leave can be withdrawn and actually it can be legally withdrawn for any reason so long as there is sufficient notice. Who had leave approved first does not come into it.

Would people really go down the legal route though?

I certainly have never heard of that.

I have heard of staff being contacted an informed that AL was approved in error as another member of staff is already approved to be off, and it will have to be rescinded.

I haven't heard of it the day before leave was being taken.

Bottom line is that the manager has messed up.

Up to her to fix it.
Not the OP or her colleague, at this very late stage.

Just a reminder - if you happen to be sick or unwell during AL, then see the GP. because you can have additional leave.
This is in your contract (check your union rep) and often results in the AL being postponed and you are then entitled to AL at a later period as well as the leave you have as sick leave.
This could be stress or flu or physical injuries etc.
If you feel this is causing you stress, see your GP.
See ASLEF and your union HQ.
Social Services and Teachers have this in their contract and I’m sure NHS had this too.
(sorry this is written in haste and hope you get the gist of the message)

I find is aggressive to refer to a person as a dick for seeming doing nothing other than exercising their legal rights as an employee.

@Endlesslypatient82 and posts referring to someone as a dick for doing nothing wrong are ok are they? Shouldn't be called out? Can't see anywhere the OP has suggested her colleague was being a 'dick' about anything so I will defend that comment in a way I see fit.

@differential I completely agree that the colleague did nothing wrong, but also don’t get why you seem so upset. You are genuinely reacting like you’ve been personally insulted. Why?!

@Cherchezlaspice oh another one. I don't see what the issue is with me addressing an unfounded comment. Maybe if that poster had explained why they called the colleague a dick it would have been more helpful. There's enough vile comments on here about the relevance of this woman having/not having children/plans so more likely/should have to work her AL. For her to then be called a dick for no other reason that taking the annual leave that she's entitled to take and not wanting to cancel it. I'm absolutely fed up of women calling other women names for no reason at all. It's misogynistic at best and does nothing to further the way women are viewed in the workplace. I am not this colleague but I support the legal rights of all workers and don't think it's fair to label someone a dick for this. And if people find it 'aggressive' to use a swear word, then they have lead very sheltered lives and need get out more.

You say you are a job share, but if you were a full time employee and took leave, surely the management would have to find cover!

you are not being unreasonable.. you booked your leave it was approved and you have holiday plans! Don’t budge, your management should be able to cope for one day!

Jesus Christ.

Ah ok thanks for clarifying @Aprilx . This is one of the kinder AIBU from what I’ve personally witnessed and only 6% said YABU.

The colleague not going away, no children and leave approved after, were all put forward as relevant to the OP, but they really have nothing to do with the OP’s (own) decision to cancel a day of their leave or not.
“I’ll see what I can do” implied with their own plans, but instead they went to their colleague to ask them to come in. That conversation was the manager’s place to have, not OPs.
The OP was quick to agree with a PP who says more people will be disrupted in her scenario, evidence the OP finds the differences stated in the OP are relevant to her AIBU question and not just random facts for bored Mumsnetters.
Both OP and her colleague are entitled to take their holiday, at this late notice neither should have to come in, both women’s choices are equally important.

But if only one needed to be in

and written in contract that can be withdrawn if needs must

then timing of booking would be the fastest way to decide.

Fairest