To be told to come in when AL agreed and booked?

[RosiePosie27]

DH and I are going away (a couple hours away from our home) with our children and some of his family. We are away Friday - Monday at this location and likely home then on Monday afternoon / Tuesday if we don’t stay at MILs house on the way home.

My issue is that I booked these days off months ago (back in Feb / March) and it was approved by a team lead who is no longer in the department. A lady I jobshare with also asked to have one day that we both work together off (Tuesday, day after bank holiday Monday). This was approved by aforementioned team lead.

So, last Friday my manager says as I’m leaving work “there is no one in from your team on that Tuesday - can you come in?”. I said I was away but would see what I could do. I spoke with the lady I jobshare with (and who booked the day off after I did) and she won’t change her plans. She said she wasn’t doing anything during her leave (fair enough) but won’t come in (she has no DC and I have 3 just for reference).

Now I know that we both booked leave and had it approved - do you think I should make an effort to come in on the Tuesday even though it was agreed first that I could be off? Or should I just suck it up and come back early to work even though it will change our plans for our holiday?

Nothing against the lady I jobshare with but she knows I am away and refused to come in on this one day (again, fair enough) but I hate that I had to be the one who offers just to keep the management calm.

AIBU not to come in on the Tuesday, or should I be AINBU to not come in?

Why don’t you just hide the thread Op of flaring up your anxiety??

OP

You put your request for leave months ago, before your colleague.

You had it approved.

You have every right to your holiday.

It is not your responsibility to come in during a holiday.

It is not possible.

You have a booked holiday with your family.
That is it.

What they do in your absence is not your issue.

Email or text your manager the facts..

You are on leave, approved last February. You are unable to cancel a planned family holiday.
End of.

Whst they do is not your responsibility.

Go and enjoy your holiday.

I have reported it to MN for you. You can do the same and it will disappear quicker if they get multiple reports.

In the meantime you can hide the thread, but you might first apologise to @SleeplessInEngland who did nothing to deserve your little dig.

Hi OP, please use the report function on the opening post or any subsequent post requesting the thread to be deleted or withdrawn and we will take a look.
Best wishes,
MNHQ

I don't think it is @RosiePosie27 who needs to apologise to anyone.

This thread has, once again, shown MN to be a very unpleasant place to post for advice.

Good luck, OP, and I hope you manage to enjoy your weekend away without feeling guilty.

Then change your name OP and you can be free of the thread and a thing associated with it xx

Thank you @CallmeAngelina and @Cervinia - I was just asking here for unbiased opinions for this as I hate cancelling patients and know how frustrating it is to have things rescheduled at the 11th hour.

To be called a bully and have comments made about my character is awful and I’ve been in tears to DH so I won’t be coming back now.

For those who did offer me kind words and weren’t part of this barrage of abuse; thank you. For those who kept saying hideous things just remember how your words can hit someone square on in the chest and burn them.

Have you reported to MNHQ to request deletion? They will do so if you do.

I'm sure MNHQ will remove the thread if you ask. It seems to be par for the course now that people can have their threads removed because they don't like the replies they're getting even if they've been rude to other posters.

barrage of abuse; thank you. For those who kept saying hideous things just remember how your words can hit someone square on in the chest and burn them

oh good Lord OP - you’re one for hyperbole aren’t you?!!

I don't think the OP has been rude to other posters. But she has been on the receiving end of some pretty nasty posts.

@Endlesslypatient82 Still at it? The OP has explained she's feeling upset at the unwarranted personal attacks, but you see fit to chime in with another one?

It's not as simple as her not liking the responses that has prompted her to ask for a deletion. If people had simply come on to say, "actually, I think you should do the shift because a/b/c" then fair enough. Instead we've had people jumping up and down about the fact that she mentioned she has children, accusations of her "bullying" her colleague by asking her about covering the shift and now she's been told she's "quite the one for hyperbole."

It's just not necessary.

I suppose that childlessness is generally a sensitive issue for some.

Clearly not for others

But good to know that you don’t think the op has been rude 😂

Well, this is a discussion forum. Where people post, you know, their opinions.

But they should be able to do so nicely, without putting the boot in.

@Endlesslypatient82 you are being absolutely awful and before I go I just want you to know that. I have dealt with many rude patients in my career but honestly you really take the biscuit. I said one thing in response to the barrage of unwarranted abuse and you think it’s all a joke. You must live a very sad life to want to keep writing horrible things. I’m just glad I do not know you in person.

Just report the thread and stop getting drawn into conflicts. MNHQ have responded to my report and @PipMumsnet has posted on the thread so they are clearly aware of it and will take it down if you ask.

Some really nasty responses on this thread. It's bullying now. Grow up.

I read the comment re children as the colleague doesn't have plans that she'd need to cancel, nor is she taking the day off for childcare reasons, nor would she be letting them down etc etc.

People on Mumsnet always invent scenarios and it was a matter of time before someone said "maybe your colleague wants to spend time with her kids!" or similar.

@RosiePosie27 enjoy your holiday

Neither of you should go in. You have both had leave approved. It's a management problem. But as an aside, you are no more entitled to leave than your colleague just because you have children.

@Caroffee, the OP has acknowledged this.

No!! Why did you say 'I'll see what I can do?' It's not your problem. Your leave has been agreed & that's it. No-one will appreciate you going in a day early. Stick to your guns & be more assertive!

Hi OP,

We will withdraw this for you.

Best wishes