To be told to come in when AL agreed and booked?

[RosiePosie27]

DH and I are going away (a couple hours away from our home) with our children and some of his family. We are away Friday - Monday at this location and likely home then on Monday afternoon / Tuesday if we don’t stay at MILs house on the way home.

My issue is that I booked these days off months ago (back in Feb / March) and it was approved by a team lead who is no longer in the department. A lady I jobshare with also asked to have one day that we both work together off (Tuesday, day after bank holiday Monday). This was approved by aforementioned team lead.

So, last Friday my manager says as I’m leaving work “there is no one in from your team on that Tuesday - can you come in?”. I said I was away but would see what I could do. I spoke with the lady I jobshare with (and who booked the day off after I did) and she won’t change her plans. She said she wasn’t doing anything during her leave (fair enough) but won’t come in (she has no DC and I have 3 just for reference).

Now I know that we both booked leave and had it approved - do you think I should make an effort to come in on the Tuesday even though it was agreed first that I could be off? Or should I just suck it up and come back early to work even though it will change our plans for our holiday?

Nothing against the lady I jobshare with but she knows I am away and refused to come in on this one day (again, fair enough) but I hate that I had to be the one who offers just to keep the management calm.

AIBU not to come in on the Tuesday, or should I be AINBU to not come in?

I don’t know why you said ‘I’ll see what I can do’ - it should’ve just been a ‘unfortunately that time is approved and I’m away so won’t able to come in’.

you’ve said you’ll see what you can do and now is the time to go back and said you’ve seen what you can do and you can do nothing.

No way would I. And neither should your colleague.

Plans or not, that is your approved AL.

Your colleague might not have plans for a holiday but she has probably planned and looking forward to her day off.

And you have a rudeness issue that might need looking in to 🤔

"SleeplessInEngland
Obviously don't go in. I think the fact that you felt the need to even ask on here means you have a people-pleasing issue that might be worth looking into.

Wow, you obviously are sleepless if you talk to people like that. Have a good day 💐"

I have had this at work recently and I did bend over backwards and effectively lost my holidays.

And I totally recognise that I am a people pleaser. My work very likely also realise as well. It's not an insult, but it is maybe something for you to think about if you often feel obliged to say "yes" to requests. I know it is something I do need to work on - much easier said than done!

I think everyone has said it all. Maybe you need to ask your colleague to train you in the simple art of "no, I will be on leave", as she seems to have got it right.

The fact you have kids and she doesnt is is irrelevant, so don't use that as your bargaining chip.

However the fact you have had it booked from February, and prior to your colleague booking it off, I'd think that is what you need to focus your argument around not coming in on.

If the rules are one of you needs to always be in then you need to say, I'm sorry mine was booked in advance, you'll have to cancel my job shares holiday.
The managers don't want to take responsibility for this so are making it your problem. It isn't. They have messed up and they'll have to speak to her and let her know her leave was approved in error. Or for one day they'll have to suck it up and not have cover be more careful when approving leave in future.

You were only unreasonable to firstly say you would see what you could do, and then tried to get the other woman to give up her leave.

You should have just said "no sorry I'm on leave," - it's the managers problem to sort out.

All the stuff where you say your colleagues leave is less important that yours is completely irrelevant- you don't know all her circumstances and even if you did, people can book off leave for whatever reason they want. Who cares if she has fewer dc than you? Shock horror even people WITHOUT kids are entitled to annual leave and if they book it and its been approved it is no business of anyones how they choose to spend it. You say you're annoyed that it's always you having to compromise but it isn't- YOU offered to sort it YOU contacted this other woman to try snd make her change her leave and now YOU are feeling like you have to change yours but nobody has told you any of this. All they've said is - a bit cheekily but not inappropriately - can you come in and you've made it a huge thing rather than just saying "no."

Just go back to them and say "no I can't change my leave" then its up to the management to do what they are paid and employed to do and sort it out.

@SleeplessInEngland wasn't being rude?

Don't go in. They'll have to find cover or agency. Not your problem.

Oh, come on. "For info"? What possible relevance to this topic does the number of children you both possess have? You know very well you intended to imply "she's childless so doesn't actually need her leave as much as I do".

This, 100%!

And then she got chippy at another poster who was being supportive!

This is not your problem or your colleague's problem.

You both had your annual leave approved.

The person who approved your annual leave should have checked to see who else was already on leave before OK'ing it.

They need to find a solution which doesn't involve either you or your colleague coming in.

Neither of you should go in. Both sets of leave was booked and approved knowing that meant a day with neither of you, and with a plan to cope. So just say no.

I said I was away but would see what I could do.

Well why did you say that, when you're going to be on holiday? (And I don't say this as criticism, I just hope next time something happens you'll hold your tongue if you feel like that sentence wants to jump out of your mouth, and instead shrug and say "oh dear, well I'm sorry but I'm on holiday, it was booked in months ago. Anyway, have a good afternoon, bye." It's their problem if they fucked up the scheduling, not yours.

They don't know you'll "only" be a couple of hours away, you could be going to the Maldives for all they know. And what would you have said then? You'd have had no choice but to just say "sorry, I'm away, no can do." and that would be that. So from now on just pretend like you spend all of you annual leave in the Maldives, even if you're just on your sofa with a pack of Malteasers. None. Of. Their. Business.

And then, when they have a rubbish day next week because you're not there and everything goes to pot, this time maybe the fallout will fall on the person actually responsible for the scheduling muck-ups, and they might actually then have an incentive to up their game, instead of passing the inconvenience onto you every time.

The only thing you are unreasonable about is saying you’d see what you could do. It should have been a straightforward no. You need to tell them you are not available on Tuesday and they’ll need to arrange agency cover if both you and your job share partner are away.

Your mistake was to say " I'll see what I can do " why on earth would you say that ?

That gives the impression you're happy to change your plans and work.

You just need to go back and say that you're away as your annual leave was approved and won't be home until late Tuesday. Tell them to talk with your jobshare colleague themselves. It's not your job to handle this. You need to be Teflon hands here. It wasn't you that double-booked the holidays so it certainly isn't your job to sort it out.

I think they’ve made a fair point, to be honest.

You booked leave and are going away. The end. All this scuttling about trying to sort things and being upset that the job share lady (whose childless state is entirely irrelevant, by the way) isn’t…that’s unreasonable people pleasing. As is the fact that you’d even consider coming in, in these circumstances.

Don’t go in. Your colleague has better boundaries than you do and has said an emphatic no.

m it’s managements problem to sort. Unless lives will be at risk I’d leave them to do that.

it was all approved on the roster

Then that's all you need to say "no" and leave the management to sort their own problem, but with respect I'd suggest that saying you'll "see what you can do" was a bit risky ... too often that's received as "job done, the other person will sort it"

Your job share colleague's annual leave is none of your business, she hasn't done anything wrong and you shouldn't be trying to pressure her to give up her leave!

Obviously you shouldn't be coming in either. Covering annual leave that has been approved is a management issue.

She's right though

You made a mistake by saying "I'll see what I can do". Your response should have been that Annual leave was approved back in February and you will be away.

You shouldn't have said you'd see what you could do at all. I would have said "my leave was approved back in Feb/March (or whatever) and I am away and won't be home until Tuesday night."

No apologies, no "I hope you get it sorted." Not your problem.

Well they can't ask you to cancel your leave but they could ask your colleague, if they act today.

What would your employer have done if you and your colleague had both been off with Covid at the same time?

Answer: they'd have coped somehow.

Just like they will have to cope on Tuesday when you are both on leave.

But tell them ASAP, because they are probably interpreting your mealy-mouthed "I'll see what I can do" as "fine, I'll come in", and not finding a solution.