To think its rude to ask if siblings can come to child's party!

[happymumofthree3]

My DD has just had her birthday party, we hired a place but still had a maximum number you could invite. With the class and family we invited the maximum number obviously not everyone replied / showed up.

We had 3 parents text to ask if siblings could come, one of them even asked if they could bring invited child and 2 siblings! Other people dropped hints "sorry X would love to come but unfortunately I don't have anyone to watch her 2 brothers"

The party was 5pm on a Saturday! If my husband isn't able to take DD to a party she doesn't go as we have 2 other children.

AIBU to think its rude!? Also parents eating their child's party food? Whats that all about

Likewise.

A baby in a pram isn't an issue but other younger or older siblings do change the dynamic & need fed/party bags etc (or at very least would lead to host feeling obliged/embarrassed into including sibling etc

Err...did someone actually compare a child's birthday party invite to a....wedding invitation? A WEDDING?

I'm dying 😂

I think the pp point was that it’s rude to ask for an extra invite to any occasion @LaBaDeeLaBaDa , not to compare the importance of the occasions

I don't think its rude to ask. I don't mind people asking.

Its rude to just turn up.

People might not have anyone else to look after the sibling - working partner, single parents etc.

Exactly.

My point was just that. It's just rude to ask to bring an extra person to any social event. Large or small if the invitation is named.

Depends on the birthday child too.
My girls have always been allowed to invite up to 10 friends. DD1 in particular would spend ages pondering over her list.

They'd help me devise the themed crafts or plan party games, treasure hunt or water fights in garden with the 10 six year olds they'd chosen.
At that age they'd have been really upset if I'd suddenly told them a 4 year old and 7 year old boy were coming to join in too as there was no-one to look after them!

Exactly .
My point was just that

Oh, I get what you think you meant. But what you actually wrote was that your child's birthday party is analogous to someone's wedding

Which has made my day 😂😂

Maybe in a soft play but would never leave my child at someones house

Now that's rude

They asked, didn't turn up with an extra sibling. No rudeness here.

Err it's not my child. Doh. My youngest is 17
🤪

It’s not rude to ask ! I hope parents do the same with me. I would hate for someone not to attend my sons birthday party because of child care issues.

That's exactly what it would be to decline a request from a parent who has another child if you could accommodate them, just because you thought their request was cheeky.

It is ok to ask bit I would be very clear that if the party is at a soft play or somewhere that whilst the additional sibling is welcome their parent will have to pay the admission fee for them. I always have a list at the entrance of exactly who is invited and make it clear to the staff that I will only be footing the bill for those children on the list and anyone should be charged normal venue fee. The first time we ever did a venue party I was well stung when the bill was presented and I was being charged for 7 additional children none of whom had been invited or whose parents had asked was it ok if they came along. People are generally cheeky gits about this and many people are operating on a budget.

beachcitygirl Your youngest is 17 and you're still this precious about birthday parties? Amazing

It was my DDs birthday party on Sunday. It was at a place like soft play and open to the public at the same time. A number of parents asked if they could bring siblings and pay for them. I was happy for them to do that as it didn't affect my costs.
If it would've meant there wasn't space for an actual invited guest I would say no and explain why.

In terms of parents eating child party food. Isn't it better it doesn't go to waste?

YABU! Unless it was a very small party at home, I can see that would change the dynamics hugely. But with a soft play / big village hall party, asking because you've got a genuine childcare issue, is absolutely fine. Just as it's fine for the answer to be no!

DD has been at a few parties recently where her friends have had siblings there, and I know the parents involved had checked with the parents throwing the party, paid their entrance fee and made sure they bought them something to eat at the cafe. Wasn't an issue for anyone! And at village hall type ones it's quite usual for siblings to come (again having asked the parents first), usually involves a good mix of ages running riot. I don't take my younger DS to DD's friends parties as I have pretty solid family childcare and quite frankly DD needs a break (DS has SEN) and time with her own friends, but there was a party last week the Mum made a point of saying he was quite welcome to come also, which I really appreciated.

Also - if the kids have got up and left the table and gone back to playing, the host parents usually encourage everyone to feel free to eat anything that's left over... Thought that was fairly standard kids party etiquette!

Not rude to ask, but expect the answer may be no.

I would be fucking fuming if someone dropped a 4 year old and buggered off leaving me to look after them.

I’m obviously strange in that I want children to come to my children’s parties. My children want to see their friends there and I am always really chuffed when people accept. I wouldn’t think someone was rude for asking about a sibling coming.

I’ve never asked as I have shitloads of childcare support locally, but I know how lucky I am and so many just don’t have that option.

As for the food, really? You’d rather it went in the bin?

You sound like quite a mean spirited host OP

I love eating the party food 😳

(Especially crisps and sausage rolls! But party pizza is good too 🥳)

Is this bad? (if DS doesn't eat it, no-one else is going to eat it off his plate surely!! So why can't mum tuck in?!!! Better than the bin? no?)

Lol. Nope just answering a question on aibu
Op is not being unreasonable.

And you @LaBaDeeLaBaDa are just a teensy bit obsessed by me.

Good for you kitten. You may mean something. X namaste

Not rude to ask, but not rude to decline.

In our experience, parties up to age 7 have tended to extend the invitation to younger siblings.

Parents are normally catered for refreshmentswise as well, and if not I would expect them to pick at party food after it had been served to the kids.

Just different experiences, I don't think anyone's being unreasonable unless they show up unannounced.

Not rude to ask. Not a hint to say you're not coming because you have no one else to look after other siblings. It means you thought it not appropriate to ask to bring them, but dont want birthdaychild to think your child doesn't want to come. Definitely a bit of mum projecting in this situation.

I have a partner who works most weekends and no local family. So yes I would ask can I bring the siblings along. I would totally understand if it’s a no but I don’t think it’s rude to ask as otherwise my kids would miss most weekend parties. To be honest most parents are great friends and would happily have all my kids. But I wouldn’t be offended if they couldn’t fit them in. I would say you’ve got your knickers in a twist. People bringing siblings uninvited is rude though, yes. And if they eat their kids party food? Does it matter? Saves it all going in that black bin bag at the end of the party.