To think its rude to ask if siblings can come to child's party!

[happymumofthree3]

My DD has just had her birthday party, we hired a place but still had a maximum number you could invite. With the class and family we invited the maximum number obviously not everyone replied / showed up.

We had 3 parents text to ask if siblings could come, one of them even asked if they could bring invited child and 2 siblings! Other people dropped hints "sorry X would love to come but unfortunately I don't have anyone to watch her 2 brothers"

The party was 5pm on a Saturday! If my husband isn't able to take DD to a party she doesn't go as we have 2 other children.

AIBU to think its rude!? Also parents eating their child's party food? Whats that all about

It's normal round here for village hall parties, both with extra kids and adults eating the buffet, but ones where you pay per child then yeah it's a bit cheeky.
But then you have to accept a lot of no shows as lots of people have no-one to leave other kids with.

And if the only option is that their friend attends with their sibling or not at all, why would you not try and reach a compromise!

If it genuinely is the only option.
Has the parent asked if it's ok to drop and go? Asked another parent to take their DC?
I've been asked several times by other school mums if I could take Gemma to Lucy's party as they have no transport or have to look after siblings.

My youngest is summer born and we've always had parties in the garden with games or water fun or bouncy castle. I have reasonable sized but not large garden so can accommodate about 10 children to play safely. I simply wouldn't have room for even a couple of "extras" and I have had to say no in the past but always suggested asking another parent to bring the child. Hasn't resulted in a child being unable to come.

It's a tough one because you know some parents would struggle for childcare . Its rude not to ask for sure. When we done soft play parties for DD other parents always asked if siblings could come and always paid . They always got given some cake . I didn't mind this . The soft play centre asked me for a list of names of who I was paying for because every weekend parents would try and say a sibling was part of the party so the party parent would have to pay for the uninvited sibling

I don’t think it’s rude to ask, show up with them is rude but explaining the situation beforehand isn’t. I had my DD’s in a hall last time and felt really bad as clearly parents thought it would be no problem to bring siblings since it wasn’t a pay per entry place but my entertainer would only cater for a set number before I had to book a second entertainer which would nearly double my party cost so I kept having to say no to siblings even though the hall was plenty big enough.

the food thing I couldn’t get upset over, there’s always so much food waste at kids parties I would just be glad someone is eating it. I always eat my DD’s sandwiches as she doesn’t like them and feel bad her leaving a big plate of food uneaten.

Rude. Just rude.

What has changed is people now think they are entitled to do what they like. I think its so disrespectful to ask if siblings can attend. If Your child can not be left then you should politely decline the invite until your child is ready. I have honestly never seen or heard of parents and siblings staying, well only on MN.

I think if you are expecting the parents to stay, then they should be able to bring their other DC, but at their own cost.
It's really expensive paying for soft play/catered parties, and so an extra drink or sandwich becomes an issue.
Maybe it's better to have a party at home, or in a village/school/sports club hall, then you can welcome everyone and the whole thing is more laidback.

Exactly @ZeroFuchsGiven & @Purplepurse you decline if you have no childcare , then it’s up to the host whether or not they extend the invite
do not back the host into a corner . All these posters saying it’s not rude , it bloody is
what if they had several siblings:or several people asked ? Bloody ridiculous, the invite is only for the named child

Question: would anyone ever dream of bringing someone else to an event when it's only their name on the invite ? Ie wedding/party/engagement etc

Do the drop off or decline the invite.

It's BEYOND rude to ask for others to be included.

Your child can not be left then you should politely decline the invite until your child is ready.

You honestly think a 4 year old should miss their best friends party because their dad works weekends and they have a baby brother?

Yes. Or drop your child off at their best friends party & walk to the park or round the block with the baby brother in the pram.

Yes @girlmom21 , if you are angling for the younger brother to join in. It's bad manners to ask whether it mars your plans or not

I don't understand how people are so spiteful against children, but it takes all sorts I guess.

@girlmom21
It’s not people being spiteful 😂

it’s the practicalities of catering, siblings, particularly older ones can totally change the dynamic of a youngster’s party, and that’s before you even start on the financial aspect

Why is it spiteful @girlmom21? That's a ridiculous thing to say. It's genuinely bad manners to ask for an extra invite
Why should their child have someone at their party they didn't ask for just to aplease you?
Accept or decline but never ask

It's spiteful to not cater for an extra child if you have the ability to and it's not going to put you out of pocket.

If I invited 10 people to a party, one declined then another parent asked if they could bring a sibling id have no issue with that at all.

If I couldn't accommodate them id say so but I don't know why you would think someone was rude for asking.

Nope that still wouldn't wash with me @girlmom21 , as a PP said it changes the dynamics

I don’t think anyone really minds a baby in a pram attending, it’s more siblings from a toddler age upwards who expect to join in that people find an issue with..

I always invite siblings. If there’s space and it doesn’t push you over budget then why not. I wouldn’t do a party expecting parents to stay and then not invite siblings as there will always be kids that want to but can’t attend as a result. If you’re happy with drop and go then it’s fine though.

Would anyone really object to a baby in pram? Presumably they won’t be eating or joining in.

We had 2 people ask if they could bring siblings to my son's softplay party. We could accommodate, so did. I don't think it is rude to ask. Some children cannot be left, sometimes childcare is a struggle, I would rather be asked than a child miss out.

The trouble is the etiquette for this varies so much and you don't know what it is until you get it wrong and someone tells you. I really do think we should all be clearer on invitations - it's not hard to say 'please only send one adult per child' or unfortunately we won't have capacity for extra children so named child only please.'

I think they have the right to ask (so long as they offer to pay the extra costs) and you have the right to refuse.

@girlmom21
This is the dictionary definition of spiteful. Not wanting uninvited kids at your kid’s party really doesn’t fit this 😂

Just to add, I would have no problem with a baby in a pram that wouldn't affect the dynamics of the party games etc