Don’t want to move in with MIL!

[ChangeNane1]

hi all I need so ideas on what to do -

situation is we’ve sold our home and are exchanging in 10 days. We will have 3 weeks exactly from date of exchange to moving into our new home.

I stupidly left it to husband to deal with and he kept assuring me it’s all being dealt with but now I find out he hasn’t found anything! His plan is to move with his mum as he doesn’t want to “waste” the money. I do not get along with her and 3 weeks feels like hell.

what are my options? He is saying 3 weeks but could well be longer as date has only been discussed and nothing signed. DH keeps reminding me that it’s his money and as I’m a SAHM at present it’s his decision.

I looked at air bnb but it’s ridiculous prices. Estate agents require minimum 6 months.

please give me some ideas!

OP PLEEEEASE don't fall for this. Something will 'crop up' after you've moved into your MIL's house that will suddenly mean you cannot move into the new house... Then all of a sudden you're trapped.

Do NOT do it!

Please contact Women's Aid, they can help you & your kids and provide you with a safe home away from this man!

Wait, so that's a possibility? You haven't seen the house or seen or signed any paperwork? In addition to his comment about it being his money and his decision?

Are you sure there is a new house and he’s not just using this as a ruse to get you all to move back in with his mother permanently? Because that’s what it’s beginning to sound like to me. You do not move out on exchange, you move out on completion, and then you should be able to move straight into your new home unless you’re having major works done.

Has he definitely bought another house? Have you seen it? Don’t move in with mil, can you call womens aid for advice? It sounds like he’s trying to coerce you into this and he sounds very controlling

If you are in the UK, you don't need to go anywhere on exchange of contracts; it's at completion that you must vacate the property you have sold.

In your situation I'd be telling DH that I'm going nowhere until I have the keys to the new house in my hands.

This isn't good

smells fishy. You're ready to move back in with your abusive MIL while nothing is signed. Don't fall for it

OP are you legally married in the UK?

I'd be really surprised if there is a new house lined up other than MILs. If you move in there be prepared for a very long stint.

Are there caravan parks nearby? It might be a solution to rent one...

This is what I think too. Get in touch with your (his) solicitor/estate agent, and find out if there really is a property you're buying. You should be exchanging and completing on both properties at the same time. It sounds like he may trap you back into living with his mother permanently. I would refuse to move until you were convinced there was another property you were moving into at the same time you're moving out from your current property. If you refuse to move, and you tell your buyers, that will hold up the sale. Go and see a solicitor.

DH keeps reminding me that it’s his money and as I’m a SAHM at present it’s his decision.

Your MIL is not your problem. Your controlling, financially abusive “D”H is.

Just leaving this here in case it’s relevant

karmanirvana.org.uk/get-help/

wishing a happier future for you

Sorry if someone else has already said this but when’s the completion date on existing house? You don’t need to actually vacate until you complete which is often at least a week after exchange. You might be able to negotiate that and push out completion by a couple / few weeks on basis that you have no where else to live?

also agree with pp that your DH attitude to money stinks and defo worth addressing.

We were “allowed” to move out in the beginning as I was ready to get divorced.

Based on his comment that it’s HIS money, it sounds like he’s financially abusive?

I wish you had divorced him tbh.

And the “and as I’m a SAHM at present it’s his decision.”

Which must have come from him?

Weird that you're exchanging before buying. Normally it's all worked out to be done on the same day.
Have you seen any paperwork for the new house?

MIL is very controlling the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, sounds like your dh is also controlling going by his it's my money comment

Do you have relatives you and the dc could stay with?

I don’t understand this situation. « Exchanging « does not mean you have sold your house and have to move out that day. It is an exchange of contract which commits you to a date (usually some days/weeks in the future) when the contract will be completed, all the money changes hands and the buyer can move in.

I think you need to educate yourself a bit better on financial and legal matters because if the deeds are in both your names and you have kids, you bear some responsibility here too. Leaving everything to your husband is not acceptable in this day and age (for either of you) and it will come back to bite you if he drops dead suddenly or you split up.

In the meantime you can suck up three weeks at your MILs - it is not long - IF you have exchanged contracts on your new house to move in three weeks later because that date will be set in stone.

Are there any temporary jobs you can do around your kids? Just so you can’t be there during the day?

I don’t mean to be horrible, but how can you leave Everything to your husband and not even know where your mean to be going?! I just can’t imagine

OP are you certain a new house is even being bought? Have you been involved with the house buying process at all? Meeting with the EA, solicitor, getting paperwork??

I don’t have family here unfortunately and I can’t ask others to expect others to let us stay.

If I was your friend I'd definitely want you staying with me rather than at your MILs. Well, you and the kids. Not sure my place would be big enough for him too.

I'm confused - why do you need to move out at exchange? Do you mean instead that you have a gap of three weeks between completion on your house sale and completion on your purchase and therefore moving into your new property and if so that's quite unusual.

If you haven't exchanged yet I would pull out of selling your current house unless you see signed paperwork for the new house AND somewhere for you to stay between. Tell him you will not under any circumstances be moving in with your MIL, he tries it and he will have divorce papers. You're married, that money is equally yours.