About the random man who commented on my baby in the supermarket?

[Pbbananabagel]

so I honestly don’t know if I was a bit too touchy about this and should’ve just smiled and moved on-

Random man leaned into my face and said “he looks like he’s smoking a cigarette, look how he’s holding that crisp”

it completely rubbed me up the wrong way and I said “thanks for that random man in the supermarket, that’s exactly the kind of comment a mum on her own in the supermarket needs to hear.”

he responded “don’t be stupid it was only a joke’

to which I said “you don’t know what might be on someone’s mind when you make comments like that” and he tutted and said
”really it’s a joke, so ridiculous” and walked off.

I felt so uncomfortable, people were staring and I thought maybe that was a step too far and I should’ve just let it go.

I lost two parents to cancer and one of the anniversaries is in two days. Today is the anniversary of me getting the call out of the blue at work that said “it’s cancer and he’s dying so get down here (300 miles away)” when my dad had just felt unwell on holiday and gone to the walk-in. So maybe I’m too touchy.

So, thank AIBU or was this random man really in need of my response?

The point she made to random man was valid- if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.

Well thankfully that random piece of 'advice' died out just after the 1950s 🙄

I think you overreacted and were quite rude.

A polite smile and chuckle would have been enough to acknowledge his joke and move on.

I can see why is a sensitive topic for you, but you definitively overreacted.

its not normal but if you toddle along to some other pages you will see that the “thank you random person” is now a recommended response to some twat making unsolicited and less than positive comments about you or yours.
it’s not normal becuase most of us are so gobsmacked by a random person saying something we’re lost for words and don’t say anything when really rand9m person should keep their silly and derogatory comments to themselves

but hey, this is AIBU, and folks are having a pile on with their tea tonight

Mum responding with the jokey “random man” response
Jokey? I doubt op was remotely jokey in her response. She followed up with "that's exactly what a Mum on her own in the supermarket needs to hear".
That's unintentionally funny, but I don't think she was joking.

its not normal but if you toddle along to some other pages you will see that the “thank you random person” is now a recommended response to some twat making unsolicited and less than positive comments about you or yours.

Clearly recommended by sheep, for sheep.

Or those who don't mind people cringing themselves inside out at their lack of imagination.

The man made a silly joke. The OP made herself look like a fool.

I recall sitting on a bus with DS when he was a baby. An elderly lady got very close to DS’ face and sang ‘Little Boy Blue’ to him on repeat for quite some time. I thought it was rather lovely at the time but now I’m wondering if I should have called her ‘random old lady’ and given her a lecture instead.

Yabu.

You totally overreacted to a harmless comment. And likely looked a right tit to anyone in the vicinity.

Also, why should he care about your back story or what's on your mind when you didn't give the faintest consideration to his? Maybe he suffers with poor mental health, you were the first person he'd spoken to in a month and now after your unnecessarily confrontational reply he's sitting in his flat and contemplating throwing himself off the nearest bridge.

OP you really need to get a grip, your reply was nothing short of embarrasing. l work in a supermarket, men and women make random comments all of the time, yes most of it waffle, but the intention behind it is just trying to be friendly. I would never dream of being so rude and shame on all the small minded ones on here applauding such negative behaviour.

Bravo!

thanks for that random man in the supermarket
😂😂😂
made me laugh. Naaa not your job to humour him. He made a dumb joke & you didn’t find it funny, so what? YANBU OP.

👎🏼 To all the posters who think OP should fall over herself fake laughing at this shit just to not be rude.

So dramatic.

The random man response is also really cringe.

I don't understand what 'mum on her own in the supermarket' is supposed to mean
Is it a dangerous place? Where a mother would feel vulnerable?
No need to turn a harmless interaction into a nasty one.

It was clearly a joke. I would have laughed it off if he made that comment to me. Regardless of what’s on your mind, it was clearly light hearted and you were rude.

I don’t really understand the correlation between him making a joke the baby was holding the crisp like a ciggy and you saying that’s exactly what a single mum in the supermarket needs to hear, what’s the correlation with you being a single mum? It’s written like you’re vulnerable as you are in a supermarket.

Your only response should have been either

Oh piss off

or

Oh fuck off

Whichever you felt most like saying. He was a twat. It doesn't matter if he, or anyone here, thinks it was a funny comment, you felt it was unsolicited and rude. So you respond as you felt. And sod anyone who tells you otherwise. You really don't have to be nice if you don't want to be!

You really don't have to be nice if you don't want to be!
Oh, ffs! .

Can you point out who said she should fall over herself fake laughing? Can’t see one person saying this? Help us out and show us.

I lost both my parents to lung cancer, smokers both.

I would have thought nothing of it and carried on.

I think you totally over reacted.

Sometimes people are just being friendly- seems against the law now to make a completely innocent remark without offending someone.

To all the posters who think OP should fall over herself fake laughing at this shit just to not be rude.

Well that'll be exactly no-one then

No-one will speak to anyone soon for fear of a rebuff or something or other..I went into the vets a couple of months ago, sat down in the only available seat and looked at the reception desk and a woman who was last in the waiting line had her skirt tucked in one side of her pants. I looked around and everyone was just sat gawping- what a bunch of muppets. Guess they didn't like to mention it.

It was a crap joke but a harmless one

I'm sorry for what you have gone through, but honestly, your response was OTT. Random people have no idea of strangers' back stories, and most people have had cancer in their family. He was making a joke, it's nothing to get upset over. Are we going to become a world where no-one dares to say anything at all to a stranger in case it upsets them? I would hate to live in that world. I agree with him, it is ridiculous, and you shouldn't have engaged with him in that way.

Reading MN sometimes makes me seriously worried about the way the world is going, so many perpetually offended on here.

he responded “don’t be stupid it was only a joke’

And the OP is expected to indulge him and smile politely because he’s an older man?

N’ah, that’s not harmless chit chat, it’s offensive and stinks of the ‘be kind’ nonsense aimed solely at young women.

I cant understand why everyone us saying this is an odd thing to say and he wouldn't have said it to a man?! What on earth, he looked at a cute baby holding his carrot puff like a cigarette and obviously found it funny, then mentioned it to mum. This is totally something I would do, I'm picturing baby now looking like a little baby gangster, I would chuckle too! I'm sorry about your losses OP, but this definitely wasn't something to ruin both your days over...