Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

Sounds annoying but not the end of the world, just bad luck. You had a free bottle of wine. The family tried to keep their kids entertained, and I doubt they will take them out late again for a while.

Holiday I'm italy onçe with small children, dinner at 9 and loads of children in restaurants behaving much the same and the italians love it, so accommodating to kids. Nothing bothered bothered a everyone was chatting, eating great good and generally a lovely med feel. What is wrong with this country?

A lot of nice restaurants don’t allow children at dinner seating times and I think that’s ok. They’ll allow ‘well behaved children’ at lunch and I think this is a good policy as it would put me off taking a toddler or baby but now my kids are old enough to sit still for longer I could take them, so that’s fair enough. I’m sorry your meal was ruined. I would feel the same if I’d gone out with my dh on our own as it’s such a rare occasion.

So parents shouldn't be entitled to a meal out? Babies cry and toddlers can make noise. You're in a public restaurant.

You were a child once too you know, I'm sure you were a delight

Same in Spain.

It think people in Mediterranean are less bothered by busy and noisy atmosphere during meal times.

YANBU. I'd have left a long time before then

Holiday I'm italy onçe with small children, dinner at 9 and loads of children in restaurants behaving much the same and the italians love it, so accommodating to kids. Nothing bothered bothered a everyone was chatting, eating great good and generally a lovely med feel. What is wrong with this country?

This. Regular occurrence in Italy when I’ve visited and Spain when I lived there, and people there are much more tolerant. As a culture I think we just don’t like or understand children very much.

If these DC had been sat silently at the table staring at screens people probably would have been complaining about that too. For some reason we have a widespread assumption in the U.K. that children’s and adults’ spheres shouldn’t mix very much.

Why do the parents (and children) not deserve an expensive meal? So depressing how many people in England belive children should be kept hidedn until a certain age. How else do you teach children how to behave and act in specific establishments.

“we paid an awful lot of money for a meal we couldn’t enjoy”

You got free wine and didn’t have dessert so it was cheaper than it would have been if the restaurant had have been library silence!

I’ve been out for meals where the restaurant is full of people talking louder and louder and LOUDER as they work their way through bottles of fancy wine. I’d rather hear a happy baby laughing than a bunch of drunk idiots wanging on about nonsense.

Did you ask the parents to get the toddler out from behind your head or did you expect the serving staff to do that for you?

Yabu. Stay at home if you want a noise-free night out. Currently on holiday in the Med and kids are out late, everyone having a good time, noise happening. Yes, even in the pricier places. I repair of the UK “seen and not heard” attitude. How exactly did you expect them to guarantee that their youngest wouldn’t cry?

How else do you teach children how to behave and act in specific establishments.

You certainly don't do it by allowing your kids to make excessive noise and bother other diners.

Why shouldn't people deserve an expensive meal in peace?

If I go to the likes of McDonald's,then yes I'd expect what the OP described.

When we take the DC out to a meal (which is rare), we book for 4.30/5pm so a) they're not too tired and b) it's more likely to be more families rather than adult-only parties. So YANBU, OP for that time of the evening.

Sounds annoying but on the flip side, we booked a table for 5pm in a family friendly restaurant that had a children's menu too

We were literally surrounded by 3 x Hen parties. Noisy, squealing women covered in plastic dicks.

My son literally cried from the noise and the staff wouldn't seat us elsewhere. We tried to find another place to eat nearby but everywhere was fully booked. And we were far from home on a day out.

We shrugged it off as one shite meal. You should too...

I would not inflict my young kids onto other people at a nice restaurant - it is not the right place they do not want to sit still for A couple of hours
As an adult when I go to a nice place I want adult time not screaming kids
It is the old thing that many have that everyone should think their kids are cute and wonderful

Yes we did. We asked the parents once, but he came back a few minutes later. We asked again, but they just said 'Arlo do you want to come back here' and he ignored them.

I mean the fact that you were even annoyed at the dad playing peekaboo with the baby shows that this family couldn’t win.

I agree OP and I have 2 children under the age of 6. I have no issue with taking them out for meals but not to an expensive restaurant, I'd take them out for pub meal. I've been on a date night to an expensive restaurant before and was annoyed when the table next to us rocked up with a newborn in a car seat.

I was also going to say this!

How are kids expected to know how to behave in restaurants if they never get taken to one? The parents sound like they were doing their best to entertain the kids.

What do you expect the restaurants do, ask them to leave?

I recently took DD (15m) out with my mum and little sister. DD entertained herself with the cutlery and crawling on the seats next to my mum and myself. Was she meant to be tied down in her buggy or is that example acceptable because it was a cheaper restaurant?

I think 7:30 is too late for children of those ages to be out for a meal. Mine are just falling asleep at that time.

Sounds annoying but on the flip side, we booked a table for 5pm in a family friendly restaurant that had a children's menu too
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We were literally surrounded by 3 x Hen parties. Noisy, squealing women covered in plastic dicks.
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My son literally cried from the noise and the staff wouldn't seat us elsewhere. We tried to find another place to eat nearby but everywhere was fully booked. And we were far from home on a day out.

That's shit too. Your poor son. Hen and stag parties are the worst, I hate that restaurant staff are so reluctant to deal with disruptive diners but I can understand why to an extent as some can become so aggressive and of course now there's social media to write about it.

Sorry, maybe I wasn't clear there. It wasn't the peek a boo it was the fact that the baby was getting more and more excited and was eventually emitting ear splitting screams everytime he did it. People were looking around from other tables.