Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

I don't think comparing us to,Italy and Spain is fair - they all have a siesta so kids won't be as tired at 7.30pm - at that age l know my dd would have been tired and so for everyone's sake, not least her, l would have not taken her for dinner.

Of course YANBU OP but this is MN where any attempt to model good behaviour in children is tantamount to locking them up in a cupboard. No wonder teachers have such a hard time.

And if parents give their children iPads to watch keep them entertained, even with headphones, people create threads on here to call the parents lazy. 😏

Why couldn't you expect them to go gome?

If the baby was over tired or over stimulated etc then then that's exactly what you should do. Besides not taking a baby out at bedtime and expecting everyone else to suck up the consequences of a stupid decision.

I'm sorry OP. That sounds horrendous.

This...

I live in Spain. Kids are out with adults really late at night.
The British culture of children being seen and not heard is strange to me now.

well done for complaining to management

If it was early afternoon I'd be fine but not at 7.30 pm.

Surely most young children would be really tired at that time.

7;30 is quite early to eat. I would book much later if I wanted a child free night

The crying baby wasn't the main problem. It was all the behaviour added together. Although I would always have gone outside with a crying baby.

There were small children at another table and I didn't even realise they were there until we were leaving.

Ughhh ‘do you want to?’
another example of nicey nicey parenting gone wrong.
i have no problem with parents taking children to restaurants but choose a family friendly one! Not a posh, quiet and expensive one where people want a quiet meal.

The problem is the parents not controlling their children. I've been to places where they really couldn't give a shit that their children are causing disruption, running around and generally being annoying. Leaving babies to scream all throughout the meal, and not making any effort to comfort them.

I expect general noise from children, it's just the out of control behaviour and lack of any parenting that's the issue for me. Also its not just kids who make noise, some adults are far louder. Especially groups of women laughing like hyenas or drink groups yelling their heads off.

Of a family arrives at 7/7.30 they will still he there eating around 8.30/900 maybe .

How much later should one book ?

It's not really the restaurant at fault. I don't understand how you get to three kids without knowing that evenings are a silly time to take kids out and that you need to keep your kids at your own table. So I don't think they really will learn from it.

they sound cute

no they don't. The older one sounds badly parented given he was allowed to climb around the OP.

I bet they would have been pissed off if he'd fallen off and smacked his head on the corner of a table or chair.

Not toddler - the window sill climbing one I misremembered the OP

I’m with you OP. I’ve taken my children out plenty of times but expected them to behave. I wouldn’t have taken toddlers and a baby to a restaurant more geared for conversation especially for a dinner. And I’ve been in plenty of places in other European countries. Yes, children are welcome but they are expected to behave-screaming and invading other diners’ space-unless welcomed-would be knocked on the head. Kids are taught from an early age what’s acceptable when eating out and it isn’t screaming and running round.

I don't tend to eat out with mine for this reason (youngest has developmental delay and can be quite vocal so when we do eat our we stick to McDonalds).

When I read that I just felt sorry for the parents. Desperate to enjoy a meal in peace but having to deal with the children/ worrying about disturbing other diners.
It sounds like they did their best. The fact the father was engaging with the baby speaks volumes.

Yes, parents are entitled to eat out, but they should equally remember that other diners are entitled to quiet meal.

It's clearly not acceptable that spoons were being dropped off tables, no one should be crawling under tables.

Baby playing peekaboo I can't object too.

Who takes a baby and two toddlers out at 7.30 if they can't behave? It's clearly too late for them, book at 5.30 table and come prepared to look after your own children.

I agree with you OP, I rarely get a night out away from my kids and wouldn’t want to be putting up with someone else’s at an expensive restaurant, especially at a later booking. There are plenty of family friendly restaurants for young children. People need to be more considerate.

Crying babies should be taken out of the restaurant until they stop crying. (Feeding them at the table is fine).

I’m all for taking children out for dinner, how else will they learn about certain behaviour in certain types of places. So I do get you OP. Poor parenting skills on display last night. Not the right environment for kids mucking about, being loud etc. ok in some restaurant but not in others. I’d have been annoyed too, particularly if I’d booked a baby sitter for a nice quiet meal out.

undecided112 · Today 08:55

So parents shouldn't be entitled to a meal out?

Said nobody on this thread

Babies cry and toddlers can make noise. You're in a public restaurant.

The lack of self awareness here is shocking. There are restaurants and there are restaurants, if you can't see the difference between the impact of some excited/upset noisy kids at Maccie D's during the daytime and the impact of some excited/upset noisy kids at a high end adult orientated restaurant on a Saturday evening then I feel sorry for you.

When I read that I just felt sorry for the parents. Desperate to enjoy a meal in peace but having to deal with the children/ worrying about disturbing other diners.

They clearly weren't that worried if they only made one feeble attempt to stop the child clambering on furniture.
They should have predicted this and brought along a colouring book or something.

to those who say that children need to learn how to behave in restaurants, and how else is that supposed to happen: why not start practising in other places and at other times? Start with a more relaxed restaurant earlier in the day, and once you feel confident that your children can enjoy and behave themselves during a meal in a more formal setting by all means go for it.

the comparison to Spain/Italy is not relevant, as a previous poster pointed out these children will most likely have had a siesta earlier in the day so will be far less tired at night