Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

I rather suspect COVID is going to become the new excuse for not bothering to parent- oh sorry, not constricting childrens’ lives.

I rather suspect COVID is going to become the new excuse for not bothering to parent- oh sorry, not constricting childrens’ lives.

Oh Gawd, yes. Does anyone remember 'Indigo children'?

No it's not always possible to keep them quiet. But it is possible to bring them outside to calm down, choose restaurants appropriately, make sure your children aren't hanging around other people's tables and basically be aware of your surroundings.

Behaving with consideration and courtesy towards other people in a shared space is normal good manners.

I have a cousin who allowed her children to behave disgracefully in a restaurant recently. It was embarrassing. Other customers were looking over and getting obviously annoyed. Eventually a couple of tables complained and the manager had a word.

According to my cousin the other customers were a pack of snobs and she won't be darkening the door of that restaurant again. I'm sure they're devastated.

The good old days of teaching them to behave in public when we weren't allowed in it

Easy if you close your eyes and imagine youre in a restaurant around other people! Come on kids what fun.

I don't think expecting parents to keep some control of their children in a restaurant is 'constricting' their children's lives. Constricting the lives of the lazy parents who don't want to parent maybe.

This.

Weirdly, I seem to be able to behave in a restaurant as an adult despite not going to one as a child (other than McDs birthday parties, which have a different behavioural standard). Children are incredibly imaginative and learn all sorts of things by role playing. One of the best parents I know roleplayed all sorts of airport and plane scenarios to ensure that her (ND) child would be as prepared as possible. Are you seriously suggesting that the only way for children to learn to do anything is to chuck them into it and watch havoc ensue? Mad. Truly mad.

Congratulations on going to McDonalds as an adult. I hope they gave you a balloon!

Not even bothering to read the post properly.

I don’t think applying effort to things that are difficult is their strong suit.

In that case I'd have no problem asking you to remove your children from my vicinity if they were disturbing my meal.

So teaching children to behave appropriately in public is 'constricting their lives'? What rubbish. It's part of the JOB of a parent to teach and model appropriate behaviour.

And nowhere on this thread has anyone advocated a 'seen and not heard' approach.

lol, do you not see the connection? Loud noisy children in restaurants grow into loud noisy adults in restaurants, because their parents never bothered to ‘constrict them’ teach them how to behave in accordance with their environment.

If you want children to be welcomed in public then teach them how to behave in public. You’re not going to get one without the other.

DH and I called into a Harvester last week. It's school holidays and we knew there would likely be lots of families there. To one side of us we had a young family with two children. The little girl was wearing a sparkly dress and a badge saying 4 Today. He brother was I guess around 2 and was wearing nice trousers, a little waistcoat and bow tie. They both looked adorable. The parents were talking to them all the time and they behaved impeccably.

To the other side we had a stuffy family with children about the same age. The little one was crawling up and down the aisle getting in the way of the waiting staff. The older one was throwing food and I think every glass on the table had been knocked over as liquid was dripping off the sides. Both parents were on their phones and we just had the odd, please don't do that with no follow up consequences for not doing as asked.

The birthday girl said to her mother in that sort of stage whisper that only kids and the elderly seem to manage "Mummy,, those children haven't been taught to behave, have they". Cue knowing grins from fellow diners.

What a contrast.

Why can't you expect people to take a crying baby home? Why should all the diners at a restaurant be inconvenienced by one baby (who'd probably be a lot happier at home anyway!)
If you've got a baby it's your responsibility to look after it! It's not forever after all!

I haven't got time to rtft but wondered if anyone had replied to the question I asked on about p3.
All the pps defending the awful behavior - did you feel the same before you had children?
I imagine most will say they did, but really this would be very unlikely.
I think some people just can't grasp that the rest of the world is not at the same life stage they are at.

When the DC were babies I usually managed to take them out, rock them to sleep and come back and enjoy the rest of my meal in peace. Much better for everyone including the over tired and grumpy baby.

The birthday girl said to her mother in that sort of stage whisper that only kids and the elderly seem to manage "Mummy,, those children haven't been taught to behave, have they". Cue knowing grins from fellow diners.

😄
I love it.

That is priceless And a perfect example of a child behaving like a child but annoying the other diners (the majority anyway, the other family might have been upset or maybe oblivious, who knows).

not annoying!

Sorry, that should have been scruffy, not stuffy. Bloody autocorrect thinking it knows best!

@rainbowmilk
We often did roleplay with our daughter and it really did work. She's a teenager now and often jokes that roleplay has scarred her for life.

"When the DC were babies I usually managed to take them out, rock them to sleep and come back and enjoy the rest of my meal in peace. Much better for everyone including the over tired and grumpy baby."

@karmakameleon - agree with above

That's kinda also what I meant in my post. Basically, we took steps to ensure our babies didn't disturb other diners.