AIBU to expect my neighbour not to have garden lights?

[2Jays]

I purposely live in a dark place. By that I mean I live down a dark lane, away from street lighting and next to an unlit woody park. I have become really sensitive to light at night and cannot sleep with even a tiny bit of light in the room. I also cannot wear eyemasks as they cause pressure on my face (yes I know I sound fussy but I have sensory issues).

My neighbour of the last nine years has suddenly decided to illuminate his garden at night. I'm not sure why because the position of his house means that he cannot see the lights unless he is sitting in his conservatory, which he rarely does. His garden runs across the front of my house and we share a fence but his house is set off to the right. The lighting.can only be seen by me. Apart from the light sensitivity it also attracts interest to a previously unseen area (we are side on to a park and most people don't even know our houses are here), I feel like the lights make us much more visible if someone wanted to nose around at night.

I've attached a rubbish photo which shows his garden, mine is the completely black area underneath it. I know it's not Blackpool illuminations but it is enough to change things significantly for me.

We used to get on ok but he is quite ill and has become increasingly grumpy about my kids so I am reluctant to ask him to turn them off but I'm already struggling (hence writing this at 11pm) and know I must tackle this but AIBU?

@dribblewibble

im sorry to hear about your disability & I'm glad they enable you to enjoy your garden in the evenings. Anyone with a problem with that can take a long walk off a short pier!!

but, do you turn them off when you go in for the night?

Bit hard to tell from the picture you posted.

Enjoy your day. 😘

No I don't turn them off. They're solar lights on posts stuck into the soil and small pebble/stone effect ones.

I can't reach down to turn them off due to my disability so they come on when it gets dark and go off when the solar charge runs out.

I have to say, till I expanded the photo I thought you meant he had floodlights through the back garden, which would have been seriously annoying - but that obviously isn't the case. Further, you clearly can sleep with light in the room if you're waking around 5.30 in the summer, given that it starts getting light around 4.30 in mid June.

However, I suspect it may be that your neighbour is doing this for security reasons. Perhaps you could suggest motion sensitive lights would achieve the same thing? It wouldn't fully solve your problem, because they would light up every time an animal walked by, but at least it would be dark a lot of the time.

New neighbours have a prison yard style light, it’s insanely bright and they leave it on all night. God knows why. We’re fortunate that it’s at the back and we’re at the front so we just close the doors. We do have a cassette blackout blind which totally covers the window, plus shutters. My DH does shifts so is often in bed during the day, point being that the cassette style blind is very effective.

You'd think that's funny to do to an elderly man who has cancer and a history of stroke?
Has the op even mentioned this to the neighbour that it's an issue?

By all means have a chat with him, but I’d ask him in such a way that you know he’s doing you a big favour by putting them on a timer. Because he would be. Otherwise you could very well get his back up.

As I said before, NATURAL light gradually creeping in at half four to five a.m. (when you're in a DEEP sleep,) is totally different to artificial lights blaring into your windows at 11 at night when you're trying to GET to sleep. What a silly comparison.

Ha, unnecessary keeping up with the (other) hipsters stuff!

Its time to speak to your neighbour directly. Maybe start the conversation of why he's suddenly decided to light up the garden. I would definitely bring up your concerns of sleep, fear of being burgled, and detriment to wildlife and not seeing the stars. All of which are valid.

Show him pictures of what it looks like to you, and how illuminated your bedroom is at night. Sometimes we need to see/hear it (photos/recordings) from the other persons point of view rather than just being told. Good luck and please let us know how it goes .

Oh I don't imagine they're that bright then. Nice enough for you without bothering the neighbours, perfect!

it is light pollution
very sad if unable to see the stars for instance

YANBU - this obsession that some people have with making their houses look like fucking Blackpool illuminations is insane. There’s a new development near us - it used to be a large field with views to the hills beyond it - a sanctuary for wildlife. The developers installed the LED lights on the houses so the whole sky is now lit up at night. I am so glad I’m not living opposite them and hope that this year with energy bills rising they are forced to turn off the bloody things.

I know a lot of people have suggested really well fitting blackout blinds and curtains, so I’d do that together with a polite chat. Hope you get it resolved, unnecessary light pollution in a dark area should be banned imo.

Unless i need to go to specsavers, the lighting doesn't seem that unreasonable. As it's your issue, It's you who should take adequate steps to tackle this in your own home.

@TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination I said they were solar lights. I don't think people turn off solar lights as such do they? I never have?

For a security light shining directly into our main bathroom (and lighting up our whole landing at night) I used tape and a mirror to literally reflect the light back into the bedroom facing our house. Didn't have to say a word, the security light has been angled down more. Possibly only effective in that specific set up though.

@dribblewibble

probably not the wee ones you have, but some solar lights are now quite big & bright, long strings of them etc. if I had the big ones I would, for the wildlife, if not the neighbours.

That’s brilliant, @Onlyforcake im going to steal this idea

But @TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination we were advised by the police to light our gardens? Wouldn't you want to reduce your risk of being burgled?

Solar lights often have a timer setting. I put that on, so lights on it out in garden but they’re off at night.

There is also a view that garden lights make it easier for burglars to see!

Mine don't have a timer.

Police did a visit here and we are all neighbourhood watch area now etc and they recommended lights and a sensor light for the back of the house (which I don't have). My solar lights as deliberately orange not white if that makes a difference.

I do sympathise as I too am extremely light and noise sensitive. But I don't think we have any rights over what others do in their gardens. I find blackout blinds and an eye mask work for me. Also you can get those curved curtain rails for blackout blinds cheaply from argos, I would hope blackout curtains and a blackout blind would be enough.
My problem is the noise of children in the neighbourhood. I have ended up phoning the samaritans because excess loud noise makes me suicidal. Again though, I wear earplugs and noise cancelling headphones in the house when the outside noise gets bad as I can't do anything about it.
I hope you find a solution that works for you.

While I think you are trying to be considerate - recognizing that he hasn’t been well, etc, I don’t think your concept of “natural circadian rhythms” is a right. You can make changes that include light-blocking blinds and an alarm clocks like everyone else. I understand sensory issues - I have them myself, but you need to learn to live IN the world, and accept that nobody needs to fold their needs to incorporate all of yours.

I have hardcore blackout stuff over my bedroom window @2Jays . That should sort it out for you.

Your neighbour isn't doing anything wrong at all, lots of people have garden lights.