AIBU to expect my neighbour not to have garden lights?

[2Jays]

I purposely live in a dark place. By that I mean I live down a dark lane, away from street lighting and next to an unlit woody park. I have become really sensitive to light at night and cannot sleep with even a tiny bit of light in the room. I also cannot wear eyemasks as they cause pressure on my face (yes I know I sound fussy but I have sensory issues).

My neighbour of the last nine years has suddenly decided to illuminate his garden at night. I'm not sure why because the position of his house means that he cannot see the lights unless he is sitting in his conservatory, which he rarely does. His garden runs across the front of my house and we share a fence but his house is set off to the right. The lighting.can only be seen by me. Apart from the light sensitivity it also attracts interest to a previously unseen area (we are side on to a park and most people don't even know our houses are here), I feel like the lights make us much more visible if someone wanted to nose around at night.

I've attached a rubbish photo which shows his garden, mine is the completely black area underneath it. I know it's not Blackpool illuminations but it is enough to change things significantly for me.

We used to get on ok but he is quite ill and has become increasingly grumpy about my kids so I am reluctant to ask him to turn them off but I'm already struggling (hence writing this at 11pm) and know I must tackle this but AIBU?

Get blackout curtains?

Can you swap your bedroom to one on the other side of your home?

I have really thick drapes and unfortunately our house only has windows at the front.

I agree that’s quite a change in lighting - could you ask him if there is a reason he has put the lights there all of a sudden? Maybe he fell or is anxious about something. That would make a difference to how I dealt with it, but I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for them to be turned off at an agreed time or put on a sensor or whatever.

Black out blinds and thick curtains are a start OP. Are they solar powered "decorative" lights? Or security lights that come on when someone / an animal walks in front of them?

What do you mean by he's quite ill?

I think blackout curtains or black out blinds is a good idea.

Dd has a street light outside her bedroom window and blackout blinds and blackout curtains (the curtains let some through the side so we added blinds too) and it blocks the whole lot out so I'd imagine they'd be able to block out that.

I don't think he's unreasonable for having them in his garden but I totally understand why they've upset you but I don't think I'd complain to him about this as he isn't really doing anything wrong having them and you've already said your children are annoying him so he's probably not gonna respond well to being asked to remove his garden decor. And depending what type of ill, they could be bringing him joy at a hard time. I think it's one of those things where you need find a solution ti blocking the light coming into your own space maybe.

How do you know he isn't sitting in his conservatory in the dark?

Thank you, I didn't think of that Thatiswild. I will go and have a chat with him tomorrow and explain my situation and see if perhaps we can compromise.

Double up, blackout blinds and blackout curtains.
If they are well fitted, you wont see any light.
I can see that it's annoying the neighbours suddenly lighting up their garden, but you cant change that, so that means you have to change.

I'd be so gobsmacked if a neighbour asked me about little lights in the garden. You're being unreasonable, this is your issue not his. You cannot dictate what ornaments etc he has in his own garden. You need to invest in black out blinds and curtains.

My neighbours also randomly installed lighting in their facia boards lighting my bedroom up like a prison yard. I spoke with the gent who looked at me like I’d gone nuts. In a fury I hunted his wife down on Facebook and messaged her at midnight with a picture of how the light shone directly into my bedroom. She was very understanding and now has them on a timer till 10pm. I genuinely don’t think she realised how bright they were and how they’d been angled.

It is quite bright but I don't think he will change his mind. Black out blinds and curtains will help. We still have gaps of light coming through so u wld really need something that cover the whole window like

Maybe something like this from Amazon would work.

I have loads of lights in my garden especially when the dark nights come in, I hate the dark nights and prefer the garden to be lit up. Buy properly fitted black out blinds if you don’t like like the lights from your neighbours garden. What do you do with the early morning natural light in summer?

He has had several very serious cancer treatments and suffered a stroke about 6 months ago. He drinks alot and smokes dope which I don't object to but I'm not sure it makes him all that easy to deal with in these situations.

I don't know if he is sitting.in his conservatory but the fact that he can get away from the lights when he chooses means that he should probably not expect other people to have to tolerate them.

I'll go out and get a blackout blind tomorrow but I'm a bit peeved that I have to spend time and money to deal with something that I have no say in.

Is that a giant cat on the fence? It looks very creepy!

Whose is the 🐈‍⬛

OP - in your photo what are the lights backing onto your garden? Other houses? His lights are more obvious but there are other lights.
You say there are only windows on one side of the house..? At the front?
How is the legal? Or possible?
And why would that stop you swapping a front facing bedroom that you have with your child/children who have backward to the road I expect facing bedrooms?
Plus, hate to say it but the photo looks like a backyard

My neighbour has their shed complex lit up. Definitely curtains & blinds.

Really bad for wildlife.

The Council have spent a fortune sorting out the street lights, making the night sky visible again & then people do this sort of thing.

The lights in fascia boards & super-bright led security lights are a menace.

Sometimes people don't seem to realise that their outside lights are on, we've had one at the back of us that's been on for two years! It's just one light and is manageable but I'd rather it wasn't on. I doubt this is the case for you though OP, it looks like a lot more

Now that you mention it…

Blue4YOU, my house is perfectly legal. It is a very old cottage that has 2 rooms on each floor with windows facing out to the front. There are no back rooms to swap to. There are other lights but far away and they do not shine directly into my bedroom. And yes the photo does look like a backyard but up until today it was pitch black at night so this is quite a change.

I know the best said my cat needed to go on a diet but that cat is huge!!!

I’ll ask again OP how do you cope with natural light in the mornings in summer when the light naturally comes up early?

Dune lim do a curved curtain rail specifically to keep light out, means the citations and flat against the wall. Maybe get one of those? I too like a total dark bedroom so I feel your pain. I got extra thick total black out blinds and velvet curtains on the curved rail and it works a treat.

I think your being totally unreasonable, this is a you problem he can do what he wants in his garden

Exactly this. I want to see the sky at night and for animals to be able to do their thing as well as be able to sleep. Light has a massive effect on circadian rhythms and is causing loads of issues for people including me. It seems that the whole world is obsessed with light without understanding the impact it is having on their health and wellbeing.