AIBU to expect my neighbour not to have garden lights?

[2Jays]

I purposely live in a dark place. By that I mean I live down a dark lane, away from street lighting and next to an unlit woody park. I have become really sensitive to light at night and cannot sleep with even a tiny bit of light in the room. I also cannot wear eyemasks as they cause pressure on my face (yes I know I sound fussy but I have sensory issues).

My neighbour of the last nine years has suddenly decided to illuminate his garden at night. I'm not sure why because the position of his house means that he cannot see the lights unless he is sitting in his conservatory, which he rarely does. His garden runs across the front of my house and we share a fence but his house is set off to the right. The lighting.can only be seen by me. Apart from the light sensitivity it also attracts interest to a previously unseen area (we are side on to a park and most people don't even know our houses are here), I feel like the lights make us much more visible if someone wanted to nose around at night.

I've attached a rubbish photo which shows his garden, mine is the completely black area underneath it. I know it's not Blackpool illuminations but it is enough to change things significantly for me.

We used to get on ok but he is quite ill and has become increasingly grumpy about my kids so I am reluctant to ask him to turn them off but I'm already struggling (hence writing this at 11pm) and know I must tackle this but AIBU?

So, adapt it is, fortunately there is lots of good advice in this thread.

He can do whatever he likes in his garden.

You can get blackout curtains.

I live in a dark area, and it would be really noticeable if anyone had their outdoor lighting on all night. It’s so bad for wildlife. We had new neighbours who floodlit one of the oak trees in their garden. I think someone has had a quiet word as they seem to only do it now on evenings when they’ve got people round. I think it’s really selfish, given the numerous animals snd birds who live in that tree. If everywhere else is dark, one light is really noticeable. You have my sympathies ! Tbh I’d ask him why he’s leaving on all night - he may have a reason.

My NDN used to have giant security lights on 24/7. We lived on an island with fewer than 100 people inaccessible at night. The fucking plum.

let the leccy bill take care of it.

^ he didn’t operate a lighthouse. 😂

Google Bloc Blinds. If you are sensitive to light they are an absolute life changer. We have them in ours and our sons room and they are the only blinds you will find which are total blackout. They sit in a frame which they slide up and down so no light peeps in around the edges or bottom.

About £200 for one for a standard size window (made to measure so put your measurements in the website for a definite price) but an absolute game changer for your sleep.

It sounds like your neighbour has gone through alot; cancer, stroke etc. I would find out if the lights bring him happiness before I complained about them or compromise on a times.

Just a thought op, but is it only the feeling if masks over your eye balls you can't tolerate? You can buy sleep masks now that are moulded so that there is space between eyes and mask, which fit smoothly to the bone of the cheek so are light-fast.

I don't think yabu to ask if he can tone down the lights as they disturb your sleep, although it would be unreasonable to ask him to get rid of all of them. You need to be prepared for him to refuse though so I agree about well fitted blackout blinds.

Your neighbour isn’t doing anything unusual and can’t know about your sensitivities. You need to put better curtains up.

Artificial night lighting is a terrible threat to bats. Does he respect wildlife? Could you say how artificial night light pollution is causing havoc to our wildlife?

Lighting - threat to bats

I took down our garden lights when I read about this.

You have my sympathy OP. I can't wear an eyemask either, I wake up and it's on the floor so in my sleep I rip it off!

Does he leave them on all night? If so, that is unreasonable. Mind you I hate Christmas lights on houses, I've no problem with Christmas tree lights in windows but find this obsession with lighting up houses for months of the year awful.

I live in a very dark place too and would hate it.

www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/light-pollution.html

There is loads of evidence that light pollution is damaging to wildlife, the environment and human beings. It seems though that people would prefer that over having their rights infringed. I don't mind low level fairy lights but that is not the case in my neighbours garden.

I'm fed up of seeing this response. Yes, technically correct. It is legal and we all can do what we like in our own little kingdoms it seems, illuminating them or playing music or smoking or burning crap.... BUT it still sucks when what your neighbors decide on a whim impacts you.

Our society seems to value buying tons of junk. All of our neighbours now have some sort of garden lighting. With LEDS ..they're super bright even if tiny. Next door put up lights that floodlight the whole area late at night when they let their dog out. The house that backs onto theirs is fully illuminated. I don't know how people can be so thick skinned. I'd feel awful doing that to someone's bedroom.

The neighbours that back into my garden put up some ugly LED fairy lights around a garden mirror so at night that is all I can see now. I hate them but people love this garden tat.

I'm with you @2Jays . It sucks. But as others have said ,you can only try speaking to him.

Oh and whoever said you get grumpier as you get older... Maybe not just age . I have a chronic illness and yep, I am massively grumpy because I'm at home loads more than I used to be and everyone around seems to do things that encroach on me. My issue I know but the individualism and buying crap and constant jet washing/noise/faffing about for the sake of it... seems to have got worse.

Our bedroom looks over our garden, and the side of the neighbours house. They've got a small path down there, and decided to install a high powered security light on a sensor. The first night, we thought there was a police helicopter outside shining a searchlight in! We kindly asked them to adjust the angle but it still shone right into our bedroom and woke us up. We had to get blackout blinds for our room and the ensuite but if you forget to drop them, this facking light wakes us up without fail. It's awful. You have my absolute sympathy OP. We live rurally and it's bad enough that the council have put street lights outside at the front but they are now timed to go off at midnight ...... I want to see the sky and stars at light.

Can I recommend cassette blinds?

They are like velux blinds, with the side rails. We have these in my autistic sons room as he struggles to sleep if there's any light.

When you close them, not a chink of light gets in. You could close them on the brightest of days and still would get total darkness.

We got roller shutters on the bedroom windows for this reason. No light at all.

You been asked about 4 times already and haven’t responded, are they solar or mains????

What do your kids do to irritate him? Are thet noisy, play football against the fence? Why don't you sort that out for your poor neighbour who.will be in a lot of pain, rather than a few solar lights. That's incredibly unreasonable to want it all your own way and those lights are nothing.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to have a polite conversation with him about the lights. He probably has no idea that they would bother you. Plus you wouldn't be asking him to change or remove them, just turn them off after a certain time. You can also find out why they are there in the first place. My first thought was security, especially if you live next to a park and woodland. I'd like to see what's happening at the end of my garden at night, if I heard a noise for example or if I felt vulnerable due to ill health.

You say he's getting increasingly grumpy about your kids. What's that about? For example if your kids are creating noise that stops him from resting when he's been so ill, he's likely to have less sympathy if his lights are stopping you from sleeping.

surely blackouts are the answer?

I don't think YABU. My neighbours have recently installed strings of lights and they are incredibly bright, disturbing the people in the bedrooms at the back of our house. There is absolutely no need for them to be on all night, I think my neighbours just don't realise how bright they are and might not even know they stay on all night. I'm sure they would switch them off at a certain time if I ask, I haven't yet but will if they don't work it out themselves!

Unless the lights points directly into your home/garden then YABU. He’s allowed to do what he wants in his own garden.

Can you get blinds if the lights stop you sleeping? Or you just don’t want him to have lights due to the affect on nature?

A timer may not be so easy, DM’s house looks like a Blackpool illuminations at night, the lights run inside to a plug in her conservatory - there is no timer.

I'm afraid I didn't see your question even if it was written four times. I don't know what they are but they are bright white LEDs.

However, my biggest worry for you is the second concern you raised. If the light now draws attention to your property when previously it was easy to overlook, and you say the rest of the area is dark, then I would have some concerns about your and your neighbours security now.

Normally it's the reverse, dark & no light attracts

I'm not saying he can't have some fairylights in his garden but it is massively lit up and a huge contrast in the surrounding darkness.

fairy lights will still be a huge contrast surely as it's so dark.