DW wants a cleaner

[lightcurtains]

We've just had a baby a few weeks ago.
I am going back to work next week.
DW wants us to hire a cleaner while she is on mat leave to come in each week.

I don't like the thought of someone I don't know in the house going into each room etc, so I've never really liked the thought of having a cleaner.

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable?

I would hate a cleaner in my house but I don't have a baby to care for.
Perhaps you could agree on which rooms the cleaner does eg kitchen and living room.
You could do the bedroom and bathrooms.

Mat leave is there for a reason. Caring for a newborn isn't all sunshine and roses, as to her being the one to pay for it fuck right off - joint responsibility PLUS I doubt she is on fully paid mat leave so that penalises the woman rather than shares the load. Pyt for the cleaner should come out of household expenses. Otherwise all men would be saying oooh I don't want xyz and women end up subbing them even more.

No ones assumed you don’t do any cleaner.

They have assumed your wife doesn’t want to clean.

If your wife doesn’t want to clean and you don’t want to get a cleaner then the logical option is that you do it all.

Have you ever considered seeking help for your empathy and imagination problem?

Unless there's a drop feed OP shouldn't have to do it all

So his wife should do all the cleaning as well as look after a new baby? Is this the 1950s?

Wtf?

Why are most of the responses on hos thread do all the cleaning or agree to lay for a cleaner you don't want?

Fuck that

Is your wife disabled?

Is there an obvious reason she can't do her own share of the cleaning?

Good for you.

For those that don’t want to clean they don’t have to just because they may have time to do so.

@lightcurtains I used to be a maternity nurse (retired after 10 years as exhausting). Then changed careers. When I was in my previous career, I had a weekly cleaner. I understand you not wanting someone you don’t know in your home, however, looking after a baby is tiring and having a cleaner will in the long run help both of you. However, we always used cleaners from an agency who had a background check after one not so great experience and they never cleaned our home office as we excluded it. Hoping you get this sorted, it will definitely help your other half as it’s also important she has some time to herself at home. Good luck 🤞

The OP does half

So no, she is asked to do half the cleaning and look after the baby whilst not in work

If she wants one so badly she can pay for it in its entirety

Is there an obvious reason she can't do her own share of the cleaning?

FML! Because she DOES NOT WANT TO.

YABU, having a cleaner is amazing. My DP wasn’t sure about getting one either but he is fully on board now! We don’t even have children but prefer not to spend precious time off work cleaning if we can afford not to.

Just had a baby myself. Can clean myself and my partner helps (he does the majority tbh) would rather spend my money elsewhere.

If
You have the money to do it then go for it on a trial basis if you feel like it would help your wife!

Tough shit?

If you teenager came to you and said she just don't want to help clean would you hire a cleaner?

If she doesnt want to clean she can pay for it. Op is out all day at work he doesnt even need to know. Except she is probably expecting it to comep out of the family budget.

Next time a woman on here is complaining about her husband not pulling his weight with the chores I must remind her that he doesn't have to because he does not want to and that the logical conclusion is that she must do it all.

@PegasusReturns

And the op DOESNT WANT A CLEANER

Why does the wife win?

Is his wife some teenager? Or did she just have his baby and possibly struggling hence why she even brought up the idea of a cleaner??

Comprehension please.

If you teenager came to you and said she just don't want to help clean would you hire a cleaner?

This. DH doesnt especially want to cook, it doesn't mean we hire a chef.

There are loads of things in life I dont want to do but they are part of being a responsible adult so i get on with it.

@Lockheart

exactly

Has the op even said they are male BTW?

As said it depends on the baby and how the Mother is feeling. She might be feeling overwhelmed at the thought of being alone with the baby and needing to get stuff done. A compromise is a promise to do part of her share, because after all people work full time and have to clean and a cleaner doing a deep clean, oven etc, every so often. Is she bfing? I don't think that it is appreciated how draining that can be if you've got a constant feeder. Add in thinking about when you'll get chance to clean and it's unnecessary stress. If she isn't and you are willing to take the baby so she's free in the evening, then yes, it could be unnecessary.

Only if she vetos the DH’s plan to outsource it. OP’s DW is not asking for them to do anything. In fact her plan would result in them doing less cleaning too.

Thing is cleaning isn't a once a week job. There's the daily stuff - wiping worktops, cleaning hob, washing (so much washing with a baby), picking up towels, tidying, cleaning spillages, dishwasher loading/unloading, etc etc. Your DW will be doing all of those little daily jobs that mount up, plus looking after baby, plus trying to catch up on sleep, make something to eat/drink (then drinking two mouthfuls before baby wakes and next time you look your tea is cold), and maybe even managing to go out for a walk or baby massage class or something because being at home all day with a baby is mind numbing.

Just get the cleaner and have more empathy with your wife.

This!