To have reacted as I did to random man?

[surreygirl1987]

Was walking down the road earlier, near my house. Was pretty cheerful - my A Level class has done really well (teacher, results' day), it was sunny, life felt good. I was minding my own business when a man across the road yelled 'looking good, love!' at me.

I know it was intended as a compliment, but I hate this sort of thing - I feel objectified and angry that women are viewed as objects to aesthetically please men. So I stopped, took my sunglasses off, and said 'seriously - what is wrong with some men?' He said 'what are you on about?' and I said I don't appreciate been yelled at and objectified by random strangers when I'm just minding my own business. We went back and forth like this briefly, and he got pretty angry and called me a 'stuck up cow' before storming off.

I know it's not the worst thing in the world he could have done, and he was clearly complimenting me, but am I unreasonable to hate it, and to tell him I don't want that sort of attention? For me it was the equivalent to being wolf-whisted at. What do others think? Was I unfair?

Anyway this is very boring. I made a fairly innocuous comment that this isn't worth an argument and acknowledged shouting is annoying.

Now I've heard men don't compliment eachother. Compliments are always unwanted. I don't believe in sexual harassment despite being sexually harassed non stop since 14.

Find a hobby rather than spoiling for fights.

Yet more disingenuousness on your part. The full comment: Oh come off it! Men do not do this to male strangers and you know it! Can you even vaguely imagine a man calling out 'Nice haircut!' to a male passer-by?!

Do not ‘do this’. ‘This’ being catcalling. The topic of this thread. Nobody has said ‘men don’t compliment each other’.

Yes, because anyone has said compliments are always unwanted. You’re quite possibly the most disingenuous poster I’ve ever encountered. That’s not a compliment.

I imagine repeatedly having your arse handed to you is fairly dull, yes. Perhaps you should find a hobby that doesn’t involve externalising your internal misogyny on MN threads. Keep it inside.

Off you toddle.

WTF are you talking about?

Are you disputing that many compliment male strangers? That's not even my comment?

What if you were in the toilets on a night out and another woman told you you looked great
Would that be OK?

@Cherchezlaspice luckily not a problem of face often, then.

Is that English? That comment may have made sense in your head. Fortunately, none of us are in your head.

Oops! Not one you face often*

Yes, having my arse have to me but people making no coherent argument really is dull.

Offended by what? Because I don't think it's rat deep and just ignore the bloke? Did I ever say you should be grateful etc. No. Sorry, but you are unbelievably pathetic getting worked up at my comments. Touch grass. @Cherchezlaspice

Can’t believe that there are people who think this chap’s behaviour was reasonable, would you put up with it at a board meeting, from a check out operator, from a taxi driver? No, so why from a fucking random in the street, how dare he!

Again, nobody said that. Are words really that difficult?

👍🏻@Cherchezlaspice

Having my arse handed to me isn’t a problem I face often, no. You’re correct.

The irony of you saying that I haven’t made a coherent argument is delicious. And I’m not the one who is getting worked up - you are apparently so fired up you can no longer type words. What on Earth is ‘rat deep’?

Utterly pathetic. It’s like arguing with porridge. I’m done with you, now.

Yes, poor men. They can’t loudly pronounce their unsolicited opinion on a stranger’s sex appeal without potentially being made to feel like maybe, just maybe, their comments are unwanted. That women gasp might not live and die for the random approval of an unknown male.

Tsk, tsk. What IS the world coming to?

this a 1000 times:

FOJN
Its the arrogance of the assumption that somehow the approval of a random man will make my day. I'm just minding my own business and suddenly I'm made aware a stranger has been appraising my fuckability and thought I'd appreciate them sharing their conclusions.

Random men please shut up, fuck off and leave me alone. I do not care or want to know what you think of my appearance.

Can you seriously not work out the difference between the two scenarios?

There are plenty of posters saying he wouldn't have said it to a man.
He said she looked good. Nothing more

Not the same scenario.

Surely these are all old men right? No one under 50 says 'love' anymore do they?

I was approached in the street recently by an unknown woman who complimented me on my hair. It was absolutely nothing like a bloke yelling across his approval or disapproval at my appearance, something that's in my experience always the mark of an utter dickhead.
In my fifties I'm far less visible than I was as a young woman, but I haven't yet said the final farewell to inadequates thinking they have the right to pass comment or coax a smile from Madam Grumpychops, who'd look SO much prettier, etc. I might choose to ignore or respond according to mood, but when they don't enjoy the lack of simpering 'thank you for noticing me, kind sirs', tough titty. I'm not here to validate their boorishness.

Everyone says "luv" where I live.

Yes, I'd have minded a great deal. He could have looked like Patrick Swayze and I'd still have found his boorish behaviour an immediate (and complete) turn off.

Grim.

As you seem to want to disregard context, do you think men tell unknown men that they look good in the toilets, on nights out? If not, why not?

I love you

Nobody's suggesting that violence is a "valid next step"...! Don't twist things.

That being said, you don't know who you're dealing with and getting mouthy all because a man dared to compliment you could easily turn nasty.

I'm sure you'll find a way to be "sad" or triggered or by something I've said here though 🙄

If you want to get offended and put yourself at risk over every tiny thing in this short life then have at it! I really couldn't care less.

Yes silly bugger but I would have said thanks and carried on my way whilst thinking what a twat lol