To have reacted as I did to random man?

[surreygirl1987]

Was walking down the road earlier, near my house. Was pretty cheerful - my A Level class has done really well (teacher, results' day), it was sunny, life felt good. I was minding my own business when a man across the road yelled 'looking good, love!' at me.

I know it was intended as a compliment, but I hate this sort of thing - I feel objectified and angry that women are viewed as objects to aesthetically please men. So I stopped, took my sunglasses off, and said 'seriously - what is wrong with some men?' He said 'what are you on about?' and I said I don't appreciate been yelled at and objectified by random strangers when I'm just minding my own business. We went back and forth like this briefly, and he got pretty angry and called me a 'stuck up cow' before storming off.

I know it's not the worst thing in the world he could have done, and he was clearly complimenting me, but am I unreasonable to hate it, and to tell him I don't want that sort of attention? For me it was the equivalent to being wolf-whisted at. What do others think? Was I unfair?

That's different. It wasn't catcalling.

You have left multiple comments insulting other posters, but can’t take it, eh? And that’s indicative of you being a joyous individual. Bringing that strong logical thinking to the fore, again. Perhaps have a serious word with yourself.

I take back the ‘bit’. You are extremely stupid.

You've heard that as a matter of courtesy, have you? Men shouting "great haircut, mate!" or "oi! love your trainers!"
Nope. Men are not routinely subject to such commentary.

Do men often shout ‘nice haircut’ to other men in the street? Is this something you’ve witnessed? If not, you’re being extremely disingenuous.

Several people have already said the ‘lucky he wasn’t violent’ thing. It’s disgusting.

I'd hate you to be me, too. Because that would mean I would be you.

A woman walking by you and man shouting something at you in the street are not the same thing. The ‘issue’ has been explained multiple times. If you are still failing to see it because a man shouting something at you in the street would ‘make your day’, then, yes, I hope you don’t have children. As you’ll be raising them to think that objectification is complimentary to them and this sort of ingrained societal misogyny needs to die out.

You've heard that as a matter of courtesy, have you? Men shouting "great haircut, mate!" or "oi! love your trainers!"
Nope. Men are not routinely subject to such commentary.

I don't normally hear people shouting compliments period. Hence why I said the SHOUTING was a tad unnecessary. More so because it's awkward than anything else. @Maireas

It's not 'harmful' though, that's too far. And men do pay compliments to each other, and that was as generic a compliment as it gets.

I've had a LOT of unwanted male attention. But come on, there's a distinction between:

-Smile more
-Nice azz baby
-Can I get your number (pestering you)

And

-Looking good👍

That is all. It's not worth an argument, just ignore.

Do men often shout ‘nice haircut’ to other men in the street? Is this something you’ve witnessed? If not, you’re being extremely disingenuous.

No most people don't SHOUT. So the SHOUTING is the main problem here. The 'compliment' itself was 'harmful'.

Have you seen men say ‘nice haircut’ to unknown men on the street, then? Just walk up to strangers and give them compliments on their appearance?

My point is that that man's original comments weren't "catcalling". I double-checked the meaning, just to make sure that I was correct, and the dictionary definition is "the act of shouting harassing and often sexually suggestive, threatening, or derisive comments at someone publicly". I just can't see how his comment was offensive. To me, it is simply a compliment and doesn't warrant such a flaming...

It is ‘worth the argument’ if, like 76% of the women on this post, you don’t want random men shouting anything at you in the street. We don’t want their opinions on how we look, however they’re voiced, actually. And the more women tackle this head on, the better.

My OH gets the occasional compliment by other men. I don't hear every conversation people have because they aren't shouting. I have also been complimented by men and women.

Now you have a problem with just compliments in general? Ok then.

It is ‘worth the argument’ if, like 76% of the women on this post, you don’t want random men shouting anything at you in the street.

Yes. SHOUTING. Had he spoken normally, I doubt this Ron this very thread would care. So I am right.

What was the harm then? The shouting across was a tad unnecessary but beyond that, he could've equally said it to a man who had a fresh haircut or nice trainers.

Oh come off it! Men do not do this to male strangers and you know it! Can you even vaguely imagine a man calling out 'Nice haircut!' to a male passer-by?!

My OH was complimented on tattoos a few days ago. Of course men compliment each other, what planet do you live on.

• But he did shout, which is what the OP responded to.
• The many comments on this post are very clear that the majority of us don’t want comments from men in the street, the ‘it’s only because he shouted’ argument is only being made by you. Nobody is agreeing with it. So, no, you are not right.
• You didn’t answer the question, have you seen men walk up to strangers in the street and compliment them? If not, then that point holds zero weight.

Was it said to him by an unknown man in the street? If so, please talk us through this interaction.

She’s being determinedly disingenuous. Possibly, if she insists enough, we’ll all agree that catcalling doesn’t exist? Or that it happens to men as much as women? Or it’s fine as long as nobody is shouting?

Some bizarre mental gymnastics.

Was it said to him by an unknown man in the street? If so, please talk us through this interaction.

No an unknown man in a pub. In a queue waiting for drinks. Men compliment each other.

Oh dear, how pathetic. Anyone who doesn't agree with you doesn't believe in Sexual harassment because they don't think looking good is worthy of an argument. Is that the best you can do?

So, not catcalling? And not relevant to what’s being discussed in this thread? Nobody said ‘men don’t compliment each other’. Again, you’re being disingenuous.

The tangle you’re getting yourself into to justify the demonstrably ridiculous things you’re saying is decidedly pathetic, yes. As is the fact that this is clearly the best you can do.

I can only imagine them doing this if it was actually a crap haircut and they were being sarcastic

Men do not do this to male strangers and you know it!

Actually apparently men don't. @Cherchezlaspice