‘But there’s no toilet roll’

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Dh has just pissed me off.
Currently a sahm (worked full time for 17 years before having Dd)
Sat down eating dinner and Dh asks what we’ve done today…often says this and asked if we’ve been anywhere, with a look on his face as though I should’ve gone out. say no and that we don’t go out everyday, he gives a funny look and says ‘But there’s no toilet paper?’ I say, yes dd just finished the last of it before..and. He looks v clearly at me as though ‘Well shouldn’t you have gone out to the shop then’ type face.
Dd, 4, is a handful at the moment (as he’s well aware) it often takes me ages to get her ready to go out, we were out last night at a fair so she was tired, I was doing washing and making dinner for everyone when the toilet paper ran out,
Yes I’m usually on top of things and would’ve gone and got it..today I didn’t.
Also, yes, sometimes we stay in, I have jobs to do, Dd plays etc etc
Aibu to feel pissed off that I’m expected to act like some bloody stepford wife and immediately jump into action when required?

Loo roll is important, but running out of cat food is worse! My cat is capable of making the most horrendous noise for hours. I guess this stuff is pretty basic and I would just pop out and let your D H look after little one, if only to get some time to myself.

Not sure what's going on here. It's a minor mistake, everyone makes them and hopefully if you have a partner they are there to help you out and not judge. Surely everyone has this, put a nappy on a baby wrong, drop a glass, it's common. If your partner runs out of loo roll, go out and get some and have their back, don't deliberately destroy them. A good friend or partner supports Friends

Yep. Leave dd with dh and disappear for a bit to get a huge pack of toilet roll. It’s not the end of the world.
We have three toilets in our house, complete pita to keep on top of the toilet roll situation. I just buy huge packs of them every time.

Only people who have never been a SAHP post rubbish like that.

There are loads of things that you need to think about and sometimes things run out. He could have bloody well nipped out or taken responsibility for the loo roll. You both live there and use stuff.

@Rosebel that's not true.

I'm a SAHM (well a part time working mum) and I find this thread embarressing and it's no wonder that SAHM get a bashing at times if any one with a similar aged child and both parents working full time read this , and OP previous thread. OP needs to start treating her SAHM role like a job, and if I forgot something this fundamental in my paid employment whilst largely taking it easy all day I'd expect more than an eye rolling and passing comment!!

Oh really? The thing is, love, full time jobs aren't 24/7 and you're usually just in charge of manageable stuff. So for example, if you look after kids, someone else buys and cooks and cleans. There is no job that is all encompassing like this.

So to be clear - a sahp's job/role is to look after the kids and get some of the housework etc done whilst the other parent is at work. Then, when the parent comes home, childcare and remaining housework should be split.

A sahp is not to do all house and child related stuff 24/7. Even though that's what many men and women think it is. And if you're a woman who thinks like this then more fool you.

So to be clear - a sahp's job/role is to look after the kids and get some of the housework etc done whilst the other parent is at work. Then, when the parent comes home, childcare and remaining housework should be split.

And the toilet roll needed restocking during the day.

It ran out as her husband got home. She knew they were running low.

A SAHP of a 4 year old should have no problem fitting in a supermarket run unless they have a full day of activities planned which the OP did not.

I’m on the fence a bit with this as I have been a SAHM for a short while so I know days with small children can easily go pear shaped.

Part of me would would want to throw him a couple of sheets of kitchen roll (assuming you are not out of kitchen roll too!!) and tell him to get on with it until you are able to get out the next day, however, the other half of me says it is an ‘essential’ item that should be monitored and kept on top of. I’m going to be a bit cheesed off if I come home from a day at work and can’t use my toilet in a hygienic fashion.

I think you should have texted DH on his way home or alternatively just nip out to the shop when he gets back.

@Vikinga
'Oh really? The thing is, love, full time jobs aren't 24/7 and you're usually just in charge of manageable stuff. So for example, if you look after kids, someone else buys and cooks and cleans. There is no job that is all encompassing like this.'

This 'someone else' that you speak of is either a mug or heading for a breakdown!

Disappointed and depressed to read all these replies attacking the OP. The correct response to 'there's no toilet roll' is 'And?' with a pointed look. You have a DH problem, and when you go back into teaching make sure he steps up.

@user1492809438 Thank you 🙏was really upset to read some of the replies. Have just reported one as the comments are just so personal and attacking.

@Cyw2018 You've made your posts really nasty towards me and some sort of personal attack. I’ve just seen you’ve had one of your posts deleted, the one that I was so upset about last night-telling me I needed to get mental support and sort myself out? The one comment I thought about all night.
I’m not sure what your own personal issues are, but that was a horrible thing to do. You have no idea what anyone’s life is like and should really think about the things you say, you’ve no idea how they could affect someone.

People are such fucking that's on here sometimes

It's loo roll ffs, this isn't 2020 it's sold everywhere. One person can nip and get some while the other stays home with the dc. It's not the end if the fucking world if the sahp wants to have a day at home and not deal with the hassle of getting a 4 year old out the house

@Cyw2018 I’m not down about being a Sahm…I *am down about comments from him..and no, I’m not misinterpreting them, I know him and wouldn’t have posted otherwise.
Why do you seem to be taking this as a personal attack to you? Do you have your own issues that need addressing? I honestly don’t understand why I’m offending you and if I am..just don’t reply to me anymore, it’s ok.

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall I know! 🤷🏻‍♀️

You posted in AIBU, but aren't prepared to accept that the majority of people think YABU or take on board any of their comment, that is just annoying.

As for my own issues, you remind me a lot of my mother, she was a Martyr at the Altar of the SAHM, and made really hard work of it, turned it in to a huge drama, whilst simulatanously thinking she was superior to anyone else and always deflected the blame for any of her failings on to other people, frequently me. This is how you are coming across to me, OP you really don't want to be like my mother, I can assure you!!

YOU forgot the toilet roll, it's a minor thing, accept when you're wrong, apologise for any inconvienince caused, work out a way with DH to rectify the situation/ find a temporary solution, be more organised next time, simple.

Haven't you got a box of tissues or some kitchen roll?

@Cyw2018 Perfectly open to being told I’m being unreasonable, I’ve taken some comments on board, but those comments haven’t been vile and personally attacking…like yours..those comments which have been deleted..only one reported by me, so presumably others agree with me on your other comments too. The specific one about mental health was particularly upsetting to me last night. You weren’t giving advice, constructive criticism or being kind or helpful…you were just being nasty, it makes me wonder what makes someone like that 🤷🏻‍♀️
I don’t act like a martyr at all and I’m nothing to do with your mother! Clearly you have an issue with her, I’m sorry fir that, but that has zero to do with me…we all have our own problems, as I’ve said, not kind to make someone else’s life shitter than it may already be, because you perhaps feel unhappy.
My posts are obviously causing you upset for some reason..just scroll past and enjoy your day.

The toilet roll is one of 100s of items that is needed in a home. Most people do run out of stuff and it can be a bit annoying but it's not the end of the world. You have running water and towels or you can nip out. In all my ex's years of being a parent, he never once had to do the shopping with all young kids with him.

When I was a sahm (and when I was working) had to do the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking and everything else with kids in tow. Interrupting, bickering, needing stuff.

Piece of cake now that they're older.

I still forget shit. And we either make do or nip and get it. Don't have to deal with a prick that thinks he can't lift a finger because he spends some of his day doing paid work.

Having a child doesn't come with your own domestic slave. Even people who have cleaners have to do a lot of stuff themselves.

@Vikinga Exactly how I feel!