‘But there’s no toilet roll’

[Whatcanbe3characters]

Dh has just pissed me off.
Currently a sahm (worked full time for 17 years before having Dd)
Sat down eating dinner and Dh asks what we’ve done today…often says this and asked if we’ve been anywhere, with a look on his face as though I should’ve gone out. say no and that we don’t go out everyday, he gives a funny look and says ‘But there’s no toilet paper?’ I say, yes dd just finished the last of it before..and. He looks v clearly at me as though ‘Well shouldn’t you have gone out to the shop then’ type face.
Dd, 4, is a handful at the moment (as he’s well aware) it often takes me ages to get her ready to go out, we were out last night at a fair so she was tired, I was doing washing and making dinner for everyone when the toilet paper ran out,
Yes I’m usually on top of things and would’ve gone and got it..today I didn’t.
Also, yes, sometimes we stay in, I have jobs to do, Dd plays etc etc
Aibu to feel pissed off that I’m expected to act like some bloody stepford wife and immediately jump into action when required?

Yes! It's NOT ABOUT THE LOO ROLL

I know that feeling. DH is normally great, but when I was on mat leave I really began to feel like a second class citizen. For him, it was great to shove a lot of the household and other admin on to me because he assumed I had all the time in the world. if he needed a phone call to be made or a letter to be posted it was down to me, and of course he expected to come in and have his evening meal put in front of him. To be fair, he took a lot of the load with DS, but I just felt that subconsciously because I wasn't working or earning I was essentially expected to do all the boring stuff.

For what it's worth, things went more or less back to normal when I went back to work, even though that was part time, and with luck you'll have the same experience.

Anyone else wondering about how OP's DH manages to get through such swathes of loo roll? OP, is he one of those people who snatches off around 10 sheets at a time?

If he's the one using it all, I'd definitely think about telling he he can damn well buy the stuff.

And what are you going to do when ‘shit happens’ if you’ve got no loo roll 😁

Have you put in place any of the many great ideas posted on that thread, or are you just counting down the days until you return to work?
Have you considered how you will share the load of the house and DD when you do return to work (I think this was covered in the other thread)?

Or are you just on here to have a whinge about you husband (everyone needs one now and then) or for actual advice.

But I find that the tone of your threads are either that you really are not coping with what are normal expectations, which you deny, otherwise you are creating a bad name and stereotype for SAHMs, most of whom manage to keep the house going, look after a child (or more than one) without feeling so offended that they need to start a thread on mumsnet when they do slip up up get called out on it (or just asked a normal question in a tone you don't like).

Use a tissue

@Cyw2018 I genuinely don’t understand why you’re attacking me or what I’ve done wrong at all

I’d be pretty pissed off if I had been out at work all day earning the sole money for the household to find my OH couldn’t even be bothered to make sure we had basic supplies at home. Especially when that could have involved a quick text asking me to pick some up on the way home.

YABU I'm afraid. You really could and should have bought toilet roll, or at least asked DH to pick some up on the way home. DH looking mildly annoyed is an entirely reasonable and normal reaction.

Ok bowing out now. Thanks for all the different opinions. Much appreciated.

I have posted flippantly before but This thread makes me so sad. Marriage is a partnership. You work together. When either of you had an off day you catch each other. It’s not a race to the bottom. Op isn’t finding being at home full time easy, some do some don’t. Things get forgotten at work and at home and no one is perfect. I expect my husband to be kind to me, as I am to him. It’s bloody loo roll, a trip to the shop. At max half an hour but more likely 15 minutes to a shop. For some one you love. What is so fucking hard about that????? Really? You would all be so bloody judgmental about this in your real lives???? Op is venting, perfectly normal behaviour in her 24 hr a day ‘job’ . I honestly don’t get the vitriol

Did he not realise you were low either? If he did then why not pick it up on the way home?

Blimey everyone, give the girl a break. Surely we’ve all been so busy sometimes and thought I need to get xyz and then kids and life get in the way. We can’t be on top of everything all of the time and yes your husband sounds a bit petty.

I order my loo roll on Amazon. I was ahead of the curve in 2020 and had a decent stash in the loft before COVID hit🤣🤣 Didn’t add to the crisis because I stopped ordering for a while.

i wouldn’t be impressed with my DH if he ever questioned what I did with my day so yanbu on that front.

Being a sahm can be quite soul destroying at times💐

@Cyw2018 you are either absolutely perfect or a keyboard warrior, I'm guessing the latter.

@Whatcanbe3characters OP forgetting to buy toilet paper is something many people do occasionally.
Your dh sounds very lazy to me.

I wouldn't put up with being treated like the skivvy.
You're raising your dc with very little help.

You are important. Go to work and if your dh doesn't start pulling his weight then give this relationship some serious thought.

I'd be pretty dissapointed if my DH didn't show any interest in what I (and our DD) did with our day.

Major lack of planning OP

This is a bit pathetic. Running the house and keeping on top of things is generally the responsibility of the STAY AT HOME parent. If OP worked and her DH stayed at home, she’d have a right to be irritated that the toilet paper had run out

No, I'm not perfect, but I wouldn't feel the need to start a thread on Mumsnet because my DH rolled his eyes when I forgot something as fundamental and non-perishable as toilet roll, then get all huffy when people reasonably side with the the working parent in the scenario.

@Cyw2018

so glad you wouldn’t start a thread, you have the option to scroll on by. Just saying

Suggesting someone might consider themselves perfect because they've got a handle on their toilet roll stocks is just nonsense 😁
I absolutely hate the childish "Oh, it must be great to be perfect" snark some posters roll out at any suggestion that what's presented by someone as an insurmountable problem, isn't actually one for most people.

Can’t be *rsed with bulky shops so bog roll, bulk washing liquid, dishwasher tabs are all on subscription from Amazon so no danger of running out!

As do you.

Hmmm sits on fence pulling splinters out 😂😂

I see both sides

you were at home @Earlymenopausesucks and could have popped out to get some

what is wrong with dd - you say she is ill/unwell

assume she got dressed today so it’s not really hard to put some shoes on and walk out the door to walk or drive to local shop

maybe being out of the house wouid have helped. I find being in with dd5 all day hard and we both are happier if we go out. Even for a walk /play /l park

why is it so hard to get her out of the house

equally you both knew it was getting low /on last one and dh could have got some on way home

yes people run out. I have and used emergency roll but have always run out and either me or dh wouid have gone to get some as on last roll

sounds like you would like to go back to work. Did you want to be a sahm for last 4yrs