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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my wife BU or am I?

217 replies

lidocaine · 18/08/2022 18:14

We are going away on Saturday and needed the rooftop bag for the car to put everyone's luggage in as the car will be full. She's been asking me for a few weeks to find it as we both thought it was in the loft and she didn't want it left to the last minute. I looked in the loft yesterday and couldn't find it. She said we would need to buy a new one pretty urgently if it couldn't be found and she looked around downstairs (we have a few Kallax units) and said she couldn't find it. I didn't want to spend money on it and she mentioned that she wasn't going to sort the kids clothes and things out until we had found it, because she didn't know what she was going to be packing them into. So I decided to go back into the loft and look for it while she nipped out to get some fish and chips. I couldn't find it and so I looked around again downstairs and there it was, on the top of the tall freezer. So now I'm pissed off because I had to go through the loft for hours to find something that was already downstairs and accessible. I've made it clear I was pissed off and highlighted all the looking I had done and my wife said "So, you didn't see it there yourself before this?" Implying that it wasn't obvious or that she's not got any blame on her for not looking better for it. I can't remember but admittedly I probably put it up there, but she must have walked past it so many times, it's probably been there for a about a year. I'm pissed off and I think she thinks I'm being unreasonable to have a bit of a go at her because of it. But I had to go repeatedly into the loft to find something that was already down here so I think I'm justified in being pissed off and thinking she could have looked a bit harder and found it and I wouldn't have had to do that!

OP posts:
Snargle · 18/08/2022 18:41

she mentioned that she wasn't going to sort the kids clothes and things out until we had found it, because she didn't know what she was going to be packing them into.

So your wife is sorting out and packing the DC's clothes. Your contribution (which you left till the last minute despite being asked not to) was to find the luggage box - and you're actually complaining about it?

Not really surprising that your wife isn't happy.

SparklingLime · 18/08/2022 18:41

Tell the poor woman to come on here - we’ll listen to her and tell her what a tiresome prick you sound.

huuskymam · 18/08/2022 18:42

So neither of you remembered where you put it, and neither of you could see it, you had to search the lift more than once instead of doing it properly first time, and yet you're pissed at her. Give over.

SuperCamp · 18/08/2022 18:44

You could just as easily have found it on top of the freezer.

Where you say that it was probably you who put it.

Dear god.

pictish · 18/08/2022 18:44

She’s probably sad then. Because you’ve been an arse.

Ideasideas · 18/08/2022 18:45

The thing is sometimes things are left in such an unassuming place that our brains wouldn't even think to check there, because why would it be there. So no I would be pissy with her about it.

Ideasideas · 18/08/2022 18:45

I mean no I WOULDN'T be pissy with her*

Mississipi71 · 18/08/2022 18:45

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Cringeworthy.

sammylady37 · 18/08/2022 18:46

Jesus Christ. Do people actually live lives where minor things like this become such hassle-filled issues?

TheFormidableMrsC · 18/08/2022 18:46

You're being an absolute dickhead. Seriously, grow up man 🙄

ThirtyThreeTrees · 18/08/2022 18:46

She couldn't find it.

You couldn't find it either.

How is that her fault in any way? If something so trivial is a big problem for you then you must be blessed with a very happy life. Most people have a lot more than a missing item to get so wound up about.

Hotandbothereds · 18/08/2022 18:47

You’re both being ridiculous.

If it’s been sat on top of the freezer for a year why haven’t you spotted it, when was the last time you took something in or out of the freezer?

Why didn’t your wife just look in the loft if that’s where she thought it was?

Is your loft hatch penis operated & the freezer vagina operated?

Collidascope · 18/08/2022 18:48

AelinoftheWildfire · 18/08/2022 18:33

This has got to be a reverse surely?

It has to be.

OutDamnedSpot · 18/08/2022 18:48

She is just walking around with a sad look on her face and not really speaking much to me

I’m pretty sure I’d have a sad look and a clamped shut vagina if I was married to you.

Send her here. We’ll put her right.

MustardCress · 18/08/2022 18:49

YABU. You had weeks to look for it. You could have started in the easiest places rather than needing to be spoon fed as to where to look. Also you seem to be the one who put it there.

I’m tall for a woman, 5’8 and I still don’t see things on top of fridges or wardrobes as well as my husband does, he is 4” taller than me.

Have you done much else to contribute to the holiday tasks? I doubt it.

Your poor wife. I would be really disappointed in you too.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 18/08/2022 18:49

This holiday is going to be fun 🤣

BestMammyEver · 18/08/2022 18:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 18/08/2022 18:50

For the love of all that is holy. Do you have any idea how whiny and ridiculous you sound? Hmm

WallaceinAnderland · 18/08/2022 18:51

Why is your wife even having to ask you to find things you know you need? Are you a child? Do you have to ask her to pack clothes for the children or does she just do it like, you know, an adult.

Grow up!

CambsAlways · 18/08/2022 18:51

None of you saw it there! What a bloody drama over nothing! Bet you had a blinding honeymoon

whatthefunkisgoingon · 18/08/2022 18:53

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 18/08/2022 18:26

My husband would get his arse handed to him on a plate if he were annoyed at me for not knowing where he left something. But he'd never do that as he's not a dickhead.

This!!!

Chooksnroses · 18/08/2022 18:53

I love it! I think all these women have probably just repeated everything your wife said to you!

SultanOfSwing · 18/08/2022 18:55

YABU

Aquamarine1029 · 18/08/2022 18:56

Are you always such in insufferable tit?

girlmom21 · 18/08/2022 19:01

Neither of you knew where it was and you're pissed off that she didn't see it in a random place where you didn't see it either?

Grow up.

Maybe you should sort the kids clothes by way of an apology.