Sister threw DS out of the photo

[HellMc]

My DS (10) has always pulled silly faces in photos, he’s done it since he was a toddler. We tried getting him to stop but it’s like he can’t help himself so we just got on with it. We assumed if we didn’t make a fuss out of it he’s grow out of it but he didn’t. All of his school photos have silly faces etc and now we just laugh. The only photos we have of him not doing a silly face are the natural ones he didn’t know we were taking.

Anyway yesterday me, DS, sister, her kids and my other sisters son went on a day out a national heritage site. Sister wanted a group photo of all the kids so they all stood together in front of the ruins. Sister then said to DS “either stop pulling faces or stand over there out of the photo” 😱 it came as a shock as everyone was laughing at him initially and then she suddenly got mad. I told her I thought she was being a bit harsh and she said “sorry but I’ve been trying to take a nice photo of them all all day for mum and he’s ruined every one so far”.

I told DS to just this once not pull a face but he continued doing so so sister told him to get out of shot. She then took the photo of the other kids and said “there, finally mum will have a photo for her wall”.

so I said mum would want all the kids together so she said “actually, mum told me to take the pic without your ds if he insisted on pulling a face, she was annoyed with the last lot of photos I took her because he’d ruined them all.

I feel hurt, not just about my sister but also what my mum (his grandma!) has clearly been saying!!

AIBu to feel hurt at DS being excluded from a family photo that is destined for my mums wall??

Why do you think its OK for him to keep doing this and everyone else should just laugh?
The whole 'it's just how he/she/I act' drives me up the wall!

Sorry -YABU he was warned about the consequences and he carried on, so your sister did what she'd told him she would.

If it bothers him he can stop pulling faces.
It's not really surprising people are getting tired of it.
Hopefully he'll grow out of it now he realises most people aren't actually thinking he's hilarious.

Shes quite right. He's more than old enough to be able to behave for a few seconds for a photo. Your sister gave him the chance to be in the photo. He chose to act up. I'd have done the same.

Surely you can see why they may want a nice photo too though, is it fair on the rest of the children they that can't have a nice photo of them together without everyone looking at your DS pulling a silly face. She did warn him too and took a photo with him in it, but then wanted a photo of the rest smiling.

Make your son behave

Your son sounds incredibly irritating and I can’t believe he’s been doing it for this long before someone has given him the option - smile normally or don’t be in the photo.

The kid needs telling that it's not appropriate, it's not funny and he's ruining people's pictures. He can learn to behave for 5 seconds or he's going to find himself excluded from far more than a single photograph.

His attention seeking will start getting his whole class into trouble, which will impact his friends.

Yep I agree you (and your son) are being unreasonable. It’s not unreasonable of them to want a nice photo without silly faces on their wall

He’s 10. He should be able to follow instructions and think about other people.

Perhaps if he could learn to behave for 30 seconds whilst a photo was being taken then he wouldn't be left out.

I wouldn't want a family photo on display where one of the subjects was pulling faces either.

Is there a back story to this? Why does he do it?

Why does your son do it? Does he have additional needs?

If he nervous about the photo or does he enjoy everyone laughing at him?

I'd find it annoying, and maybe this will help your ds see that not every photo is about him??

Unless you are going to drip feed and say your DS is Sen, then surely he is old enough now to stop pulling silly faces if he is bothered about being in a photo on grandma's wall.

YABU - he's quite old enough to behave himself for one photo. Fine to be silly for a few of them but not all.

He’s very well behaved normally, it’s just photos he can’t seem to help himself pulling faces, as I said he’s done it since he was a toddler

I told DS to just this once not pull a face but he continued doing so so sister told him to get out of shot. She then took the photo of the other kids and said “there, finally mum will have a photo for her wall”.

That’s just a natural consequence of his behaviour. He refused to cooperate, even just once, so he’s out of the picture. Do you not provide consequences for him at all?

He's 10 not 2. He had a choice. I don't think it's too much to ask him not to make a silly face.

I agree with other PPs, he should know by 10 that there are consequences to being silly in times like this

100% your sister. It might stop him doing it and probably should have been done when he was in the infants. Having a lark doesn't mean ruining things for everyone else. He needs some firm boundaries and to be taught that life's not just about him.

It's a life lesson. His actions have consequences.

YABU.

Just because you're happy to have a load of photos of your son hogging the attention by pulling stupid faces and misbehaving, that doesn't mean anyone else is. He can be in other people's photos when he stops ruining them.

I can't believe he's still doing this at 10 years old and you're just laughing it off. He's not being cute or funny or quirky. He's being badly behaved and annoying and nobody wants a photographic memento of that.

At 10?? All kids pull silly faces occasionally but every single photo forever must be bloody irritating all round surely? Sorry but YABU

Maybe you should all agree to stop laughing when he does it.